Some Raiders Jokes...

brent102fire · 01:56 PM

Did you hear that the Post Office has just recalled their latest stamp? They had photos of Raider players on them and folks couldn’t figure out which side to spit on.

What would you call a pregnant Raiders fan? A dope carrier.

What do you call a Raiders fan with half a brain? Gifted.

There’s a rumor that Al Davis has lined up a new corporate sponsor for the Raiders – Tampax. He though it was appropriate since the team is going through a very bad period.

How do you save a Raider fan from drowning? Mop up the vomit.

What’s the difference between a Raiders fan and a Chimp? Ones hairy, stupid and smells, and the other is a Chimpanzee.

How do you knock out a Raiders fan when he’s been drinking? Slam the toilet seat on his head.

What are silver and black, silver and black, and silver and black? A drunken Raider fan rolling down the bleachers.

What do Raiders fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you.

Two Chargers fans were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read: “Here lies Jose’ Sanchez, a good man and a Raiders fan.” So, one of the Chargers fans ask the other: “When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?”

You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and a Raiders fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Shoot the Raiders fan – twice.

What do you call a Raiders fan in a suit? The accused.

What do you call a Raiders fan that does well on an IQ test? Cheater.

What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job? I’ll have a Big Mac, fries and a coke.

A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored Judge said to him, “So why don’t you want to live with your Dad?” “Because he beats me,” said the little boy. “Why don’t you want to live with your Mother then?” asked the Judge. “Because she beats me as well.” “Oh,” said the Judge “Well who would you like to live with then?” The little boy replied, “I would like to live with the Oakland Raiders because they don’t beat anyone.”

A Raiders Coach was wheeling his shopping cart across the supermarket parking lot when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping cart full of groceries. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “NO WAY – you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask be to sort it out!”

RedNFeisty · 10-09-2004, 12:32 PM

Those are pretty funny!

**Skip Towne** · 10-09-2004, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedNFeisty

Those are pretty funny!

Yeah, and true too.

Tinlar · 10-09-2004, 01:09 PM

Where are the jokes?

PastorMikH · 10-09-2004, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tinlar

Where are the jokes?

Ugly Duck and TheNextStep should show up later. RR doesn't seem as regular anymore so I'm not sure about him.

VonneMarie · 10-09-2004, 06:47 PM

Dope carrier!

**KcMizzou** · 10-09-2004, 06:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH

Ugly Duck and TheNextStep should show up later. RR doesn't seem as regular anymore so I'm not sure about him.

(RR's been banned, btw)

Thig Lyfe · 10-09-2004, 06:55 PM

What should you call Al Davis in person?

Mr. Satan.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I'M HILARIOUS!!!!111

Jenson71 · 10-09-2004, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

(RR's been banned, btw)

Really? What happened?

**Nzoner** · 10-09-2004, 07:51 PM

I like this topic.

Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second Surgeon says, “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third Surgeon says, “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded.” The fourth Surgeon says, “I prefer Raiders fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.”

The Seven Dwarfs are working down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance to the mine and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out of the mine shaft, “The Raiders will win the Super Bowl.” Snow White says, “Well at least Dopey’s alive.”

Over-Head · 10-09-2004, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

Yeah, and true too.

PastorMikH · 10-09-2004, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

(RR's been banned, btw)

Really? When did that happen?

BTW, I forgot to mention Overhead.

**KcMizzou** · 10-09-2004, 09:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH

Really? When did that happen?

BTW, I forgot to mention Overhead.

A month or two ago, I guess. He was back for an evening, but he got banned again.

Basically just for being a troll. He earned it.

Ugly Duck · 10-09-2004, 09:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PastorMikH

Ugly Duck and TheNextStep should show up later. RR doesn't seem as regular anymore so I'm not sure about him.

What? I didn't even read this thread - or any of the responses.

**Rain Man** · 10-10-2004, 01:17 PM

How many current or former Rai ders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. Two to do the screwing, and Darrell Russell to videotape it.

10-09-2004, 12:27 PM
brent102fire Perfection Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Ladera Ranch, CA Casino cash: $10004900	Some Raiders Jokes...(Truth) Did you hear that the Post Office has just recalled their latest stamp? They had photos of Raider players on them and folks couldn’t figure out which side to spit on. What would you call a pregnant Raiders fan? A dope carrier. What do you call a Raiders fan with half a brain? Gifted. There’s a rumor that Al Davis has lined up a new corporate sponsor for the Raiders – Tampax. He though it was appropriate since the team is going through a very bad period. How do you save a Raider fan from drowning? Mop up the vomit. What’s the difference between a Raiders fan and a Chimp? Ones hairy, stupid and smells, and the other is a Chimpanzee. How do you knock out a Raiders fan when he’s been drinking? Slam the toilet seat on his head. What are silver and black, silver and black, and silver and black? A drunken Raider fan rolling down the bleachers. What do Raiders fans and laxatives have in common? Both irritate the absolute crap out of you. Two Chargers fans were walking through a cemetery when they happened upon a tombstone that read: “Here lies Jose’ Sanchez, a good man and a Raiders fan.” So, one of the Chargers fans ask the other: “When the hell did they start putting two people in one grave?” You’re trapped in a room with a Lion, Cobra snake and a Raiders fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do? Shoot the Raiders fan – twice. What do you call a Raiders fan in a suit? The accused. What do you call a Raiders fan that does well on an IQ test? Cheater. What do you say to a Raiders fan with a job? I’ll have a Big Mac, fries and a coke. A little boy took his parents to court because he did not want to live with them anymore. The honored Judge said to him, “So why don’t you want to live with your Dad?” “Because he beats me,” said the little boy. “Why don’t you want to live with your Mother then?” asked the Judge. “Because she beats me as well.” “Oh,” said the Judge “Well who would you like to live with then?” The little boy replied, “I would like to live with the Oakland Raiders because they don’t beat anyone.” A Raiders Coach was wheeling his shopping cart across the supermarket parking lot when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping cart full of groceries. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” to which the old lady replied, “NO WAY – you got yourself into this mess, don’t ask be to sort it out!” Last edited by brent102fire; 10-09-2004 at 01:56 PM..
Posts: 3,905

10-09-2004, 12:32 PM	#2
RedNFeisty Smokin Join Date: May 2003 Location: Wichita Casino cash: $10004900	Those are pretty funny! __________________ F.O.C.U.S sportsshrink: Don't bite the hand that feeds you!!!! "We the Fans" feed you Morons!!
Posts: 8,393

10-09-2004, 01:09 PM	#4
Tinlar Yall Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Austin, Texas Casino cash: $10054900	Where are the jokes? __________________ It's not whether you win or lose that matters. It's whether we win or lose.
Posts: 871

10-09-2004, 06:47 PM	#6
VonneMarie Don't look over here Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Kansas City, MO Casino cash: $10008987	Dope carrier!
Posts: 17,644

10-09-2004, 06:55 PM	#8
Thig Lyfe Banned Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Thigpen's America Casino cash: $10004900	What should you call Al Davis in person? Mr. Satan. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA I'M HILARIOUS!!!!111
Posts: 25,680

10-09-2004, 07:51 PM	#10
Nzoner a haw haw haw Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: MIZZOU Casino cash: $26365802	I like this topic. Four Surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first Surgeon says, “Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.” The second Surgeon says, “Nope, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order.” The third Surgeon says, “Well you should try electricians. Everything inside them in color coded.” The fourth Surgeon says, “I prefer Raiders fans. They’re heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and asses are interchangeable.” The Seven Dwarfs are working down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance to the mine and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out of the mine shaft, “The Raiders will win the Super Bowl.” Snow White says, “Well at least Dopey’s alive.” __________________ *Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.*
Posts: 27,111

10-10-2004, 01:17 PM	#15
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-472449 VARSITY	How many current or former Rai ders does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. Two to do the screwing, and Darrell Russell to videotape it. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,272