Spinoff: Should Divorce Be Easy To Obtain?

[patteeu]

This is one of the question's in Rain Man's "Pick A Fight" thread. It started to generate some discussion and rather than hijacking that thread I thought I'd move it here:

Originally Posted by el borracho

Why wouldn't people want divorces to be easy to obtain? What is the advantage in having unhappy unions?

Originally Posted by tk13

I think the thought process being that if it's hard to obtain a divorce, people won't be so quick to jump into marriage before they're ready...

Originally Posted by morphius

My understanding is that it is good that it is difficult so that people may work harder to keep a marriage going instead of giving up just because things get a little rough.

Originally Posted by morphius

And thats probably a better point.

ugh.

Originally Posted by tk13

I was about to say the same thing about your post....

Originally Posted by patteeu

Every union is unhappy at times. If there isn't an easy way out when the chips are down, many of those marriages would be salvageable.

Originally Posted by J Diddy

That, in my humble opinion, is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. What say you about domestic abuse or other odd situations. Buck up, you can't be done with this asshole, however take comfort in knowing that you have a better chance of being with him/her until the end because no other option presents itself.

It's a myth that fault-based divorce prevents abused spouses from getting out of marriage. As far as I know, abuse has always been a ground for divorce so your concern on this point is largely unwarranted. Even in cases where the abuser is so crafty that he/she can perpetrate the abuse without leaving any evidence, the abused spouse has always had the option to leave the situation with or without a legal divorce. The abuse argument for easy divorce is a canard IMO.

Back in the day, the economics of single income families was more likely to keep an abused spouse in a marriage than the administrative/judicial hurdles to divorce. Nowadays, we don't have nearly as many single income (two parent) families. Women are liberated and are welcome in the workplace.

Making divorce harder to get (i.e. going back to a fault-based system) would keep individuals who have grown bored with their marriage or who have gotten frustrated with the way their spouse loads the toilet paper upside down from walking away in search of a more perfect union.

Do we really not have enough broken homes today that we need to keep whimsical divorces cheap (not counting the support payments, loss of custody, and division of property of course), legal, and relatively common?

[Bob Dole]

Bob Dole's divorce was neither whimsical nor cheap. The financial ass-raping Bob Dole took is reason enough to remain single for the forseeable future.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by bobr17

Bob Dole's divorce was neither whimsical nor cheap. The financial ass-raping Bob Dole took is reason enough to remain single for the forseeable future.

I believe you.

If you were the one who wanted the divorce, would you have been able to get it in a jurisdiction that required fault or mutual agreement?

If you didn't want your divorce, would your spouse have been able to get the divorce in a jurisdiction that required fault?

[Mr. Kotter]

Originally Posted by bobr17

Bob Dole's divorce was neither whimsical nor cheap. The financial ass-raping Bob Dole took is reason enough to remain single for the forseeable future.

All you wealthy bastards deserve to be ass-raped--without lube.

[Saulbadguy]

I think they should be relatively easy to get. I think the costs for a divorce is outrageous. I also think they need to stop making the women the victim in all cases. They get the money, the other assets, and the kids in most cases, even if the dad is a good father. That is bullshit.

[memyselfI]

A divorce decree should be no more easy or difficult to get than a marriage certificate...

only fair that if it's 'easy' to get INTO it then it should be just as 'easy' to get OUT of it.

[InChiefsHeaven]

I hate no fault divorce. It's somebody's fault damn it. Rarely do both parties just up and decide together that they want to end the marriage. No fault makes it easy for people to not have to work on their marriage and just "break up" like they were in high school. This is why marriage is a religious institution, or should be anyway...

[Mr. Kotter]

Originally Posted by memyselfI

A divorce decree should be no more easy or difficult to get than a marriage certificate...

only fair that if it's 'easy' to get INTO it then it should be just as 'easy' to get OUT of it.

You'd know....wasn't that what your HS yearbook said: "Mrs. Easy...easy to get into, and easy to get out of..."

[Eleazar]

If it were harder to end then people would probably think harder about getting into it in the first place, I see the logic there.

[Mr. Kotter]

Originally Posted by Cochise

If it were harder to end then people would probably think harder about getting into it in the first place, I see the logic there.

The theory of that sounds good; but in reality, when a couple is in 'love,' would it honestly make a difference? I don't know.

Personally, I wouldn't object; but makin' it "harder" in a society based on instant gratification, is unlikely and probably pointless.

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan

The theory of that sounds good; but in reality, when a couple is in 'love,' would it honestly make a difference? I don't know.

Personally, I wouldn't object; but makin' it "harder" in a society based on instant gratification, is unlikely and probably pointless.

I was just thinking how women already have little to lose on the deal, because if it doesn't work out then they just get to take the man to the cleaners.

[patteeu]

Originally Posted by SDChiefsfan

The theory of that sounds good; but in reality, when a couple is in 'love,' would it honestly make a difference? I don't know.

Personally, I wouldn't object; but makin' it "harder" in a society based on instant gratification, is unlikely and probably pointless.

As a teacher, do you notice any difference in the kids who live in broken homes versus the kids who have intact families (generally speaking of course)?

[Eleazar]

Originally Posted by patteeu

As a teacher, do you notice any difference in the kids who live in broken homes versus the kids who have intact families (generally speaking of course)?

I certainly have, just amongst the people I know and associate with on a regular basis.

[Amnorix]

It's not society's job to force people to remain legally tied to each other against their wishes. Divorce should be relatively easy to obtain.

I will note that I wouldn't be worried about a 30, 60 or maybe even a 180 day "wait" between when you file for divorce and when it is granted, to give the parties a chance to cool down or reconcile or whatever, but to make it onerous to get a divorce is just silly in my mind.

[ChiTown]

Depends on who (or what) you are married to.......