GazReview: “Constantine”

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 06:54 AM

Let us get the bad stuff out of the way, shall we?

Fans of the comic book should NOT expect the John Constantine you know and love/hate. If you hated “I, Robot” because it only vaguely resembled the book, then do not waste your money on “Constantine.”

Keanu Reeves does not have the depth nor the face to carry off the bitter, broken-down Constantine. Fortunately, the script does not call for him to do much acting, and he is surrounded by actors who are well-suited to their roles, so Reeves is adequate.

However, I must say that I enjoyed “Constantine.” It was WAY over the top [shotgun crosses, fallen priests, demonic bugs and a visit from Satan himself], but it kept my interest and provided some genuinely creepy moments. Sure, there is too much exposition, but we have to know the rules of the balance between Heaven and Hell before we understand that those rules are being broken.

The film is dark, dark, dark-dark-dark. Blacks, grays, blues. Even the blood [and there is surprisingly little of it in this movie] is dark. Many scenes are very grainy, almost over-exposed. There are a few attempts at humor, but they are so few and far between that they are more incongruous than mood-lightening. Dark, I said.

The special effects are very good. CGI is better than average [I am not a huge fan of massive CGI doses]. The Director uses lots of odd angles that keep you off balance. And he never misses an opportunity to give us a view down Rachel Weisz’s blouse. Now, I do not mind looking down Rachel Weisz’s blouse, but after a while I found it more blatantly manipulative than titillating. YMMV.

All in all, I liked it. Despite the grim approach [did I mention it is a dark film?] and despite the choice of Reeves as the lead. Given the rules [the eternal Balance between Heaven and Hell, half-breed angels/demons, so forth], the film is internally consistent. It makes up some whacky rules, but then it follows them to the letter. The motives of the villain [okay, the one slightly more villainish than the other villains] are interesting and [again] logical within the framework of the film. And Constantine’s last, desperate gambit is made of the same cloth.

However, “Constantine” suffers on the Gaz Hoot scale because there is precious little FUN to be had. It held my interest, spooked me a couple of times, gave me some eye candy [special effects AND Ms Weisz’s cleavage] and wrapped everything up in a tidy little package that did not elicit a WTF. But it is not all that much fun. Give it 2 Hoots, but think about giving it a shot.

xoxo~
Gaz
Surprised at this one.

Pezman · 03-03-2005, 07:08 AM

Well, being a hater of I Robot... I guess I will skip this one based on the Gaz-inator... But the Cleavage prospects are worth a rental on DVD in the near future...

**Bowser** · 03-03-2005, 07:46 AM

Good review, Gaz. I pretty much concur. It wasn't enough to blow me away, but it did keep me interested throughout. Canoe Reeves does what Canoe does best - act stoic. Rachel Weisz is hothothot.

Interesting premise on the concept of heaven and hell.

In the end, I liked it. Didn't love it, but I liked it.

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 07:48 AM

“Gazarus?”

xoxo~
Gaz
Another victim.

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 07:50 AM

My favorite line from the movie:

“That’s pain. Get used to it.”

xoxo~
Gaz
Used to it.

keg in kc · 03-03-2005, 07:52 AM

I enjoyed it. Not a great film, but it was entertaining. There's potential there for a franchise.

**Bowser** · 03-03-2005, 07:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gazarus

My favorite line from the movie:

“That’s pain. Get used to it.”

xoxo~
Gaz
Used to it.

The look on Gabe's face was as good as the line! The ultimate "WTF" expression. Heh.

Swanman · 03-03-2005, 08:41 AM

I was a fan of the brass knucks with the crosses on each knuckle. Overall I was pretty entertained by the movie so I'd give it a thumbs up. If you're just looking to be entertained and not looking to be wowed by the acting, then I'd recommend Constantine.

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 08:45 AM

SPOILER ALERT:

I thought Gabriel’s motive was quite poignant.

xoxo~
Gaz
Thinking about it the next day, which is a rare thing for a cheesy action movie

Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan · 03-03-2005, 08:49 AM

I was really nervous about this movie, since I know two of the guys who used to write Hellblazer. I wasn't a huge fan of the series though, (bought it to help support my friends, dropped it after they quit writing it).

I wasn't in a huge hurry to go see it, but it sounds like a movie that might be a nice two hours of mindfluff.

I trust two hoots on the Gaz-meter more than I do most any other reviewer out there.

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan

...I trust two hoots on the Gaz-meter more than I do most any other reviewer out there...

Thank you, sir.

xoxo~
Gaz
Touched.

Nightfyre · 03-03-2005, 10:18 AM

I liked it for the cool ideas. I was pretty "meh"ed out by the predictability tho.

03-03-2005, 10:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gazarus

“Gazarus?”

xoxo~
Gaz
Another victim.

It was Laz's birthday wish. I had no choice.

Let me know when you tire of it.

Ebolapox · 03-03-2005, 10:38 AM

I really enjoyed it... I walked in not expecting much, and got surprised by a decent to better than decent movie

-EB-

Gaz · 03-03-2005, 12:14 PM

BTW, I saw a preview for “Sin City.” It looks just like the comic. It combines the stories of Marv [Sin City], Hartigan [That Yellow Bastard] and Dwight [The Big Fat Kill]. That’s one I am hot to see.

xoxo~
Gaz
Just another Frank Miller Geekboy.

03-03-2005, 06:54 AM
Gaz Defense Homer Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Rancho Gaz Casino cash: $10010793	GazReview: “Constantine” Let us get the bad stuff out of the way, shall we? Fans of the comic book should NOT expect the John Constantine you know and love/hate. If you hated “I, Robot” because it only vaguely resembled the book, then do not waste your money on “Constantine.” Keanu Reeves does not have the depth nor the face to carry off the bitter, broken-down Constantine. Fortunately, the script does not call for him to do much acting, and he is surrounded by actors who are well-suited to their roles, so Reeves is adequate. However, I must say that I enjoyed “Constantine.” It was WAY over the top [shotgun crosses, fallen priests, demonic bugs and a visit from Satan himself], but it kept my interest and provided some genuinely creepy moments. Sure, there is too much exposition, but we have to know the rules of the balance between Heaven and Hell before we understand that those rules are being broken. The film is dark, dark, dark-dark-dark. Blacks, grays, blues. Even the blood [and there is surprisingly little of it in this movie] is dark. Many scenes are very grainy, almost over-exposed. There are a few attempts at humor, but they are so few and far between that they are more incongruous than mood-lightening. Dark, I said. The special effects are very good. CGI is better than average [I am not a huge fan of massive CGI doses]. The Director uses lots of odd angles that keep you off balance. And he never misses an opportunity to give us a view down Rachel Weisz’s blouse. Now, I do not mind looking down Rachel Weisz’s blouse, but after a while I found it more blatantly manipulative than titillating. YMMV. All in all, I liked it. Despite the grim approach [did I mention it is a dark film?] and despite the choice of Reeves as the lead. Given the rules [the eternal Balance between Heaven and Hell, half-breed angels/demons, so forth], the film is internally consistent. It makes up some whacky rules, but then it follows them to the letter. The motives of the villain [okay, the one slightly more villainish than the other villains] are interesting and [again] logical within the framework of the film. And Constantine’s last, desperate gambit is made of the same cloth. However, “Constantine” suffers on the Gaz Hoot scale because there is precious little FUN to be had. It held my interest, spooked me a couple of times, gave me some eye candy [special effects AND Ms Weisz’s cleavage] and wrapped everything up in a tidy little package that did not elicit a WTF. But it is not all that much fun. Give it 2 Hoots, but think about giving it a shot. xoxo~ Gaz Surprised at this one.
Posts: 5,911

03-03-2005, 07:08 AM	#2
Pezman Professional Lurker Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: SoCal Casino cash: $10004900	Well, being a hater of I Robot... I guess I will skip this one based on the Gaz-inator... But the Cleavage prospects are worth a rental on DVD in the near future...
Posts: 329

03-03-2005, 07:46 AM	#3
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-158384	Good review, Gaz. I pretty much concur. It wasn't enough to blow me away, but it did keep me interested throughout. Canoe Reeves does what Canoe does best - act stoic. Rachel Weisz is hothothot. Interesting premise on the concept of heaven and hell. In the end, I liked it. Didn't love it, but I liked it.
Posts: 106,767

03-03-2005, 07:48 AM	#4
Gaz Defense Homer Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Rancho Gaz Casino cash: $10010793	??? “Gazarus?” xoxo~ Gaz Another victim.
Posts: 5,911

03-03-2005, 07:50 AM	#5
Gaz Defense Homer Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Rancho Gaz Casino cash: $10010793	It was worth the matinee price... My favorite line from the movie: “That’s pain. Get used to it.” xoxo~ Gaz Used to it.
Posts: 5,911

03-03-2005, 07:52 AM	#6
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I enjoyed it. Not a great film, but it was entertaining. There's potential there for a franchise.
Posts: 58,682

03-03-2005, 08:41 AM	#8
Swanman It's a league game, Dude Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Itasca, IL Casino cash: $9967354	I was a fan of the brass knucks with the crosses on each knuckle. Overall I was pretty entertained by the movie so I'd give it a thumbs up. If you're just looking to be entertained and not looking to be wowed by the acting, then I'd recommend Constantine.
Posts: 4,719

03-03-2005, 08:45 AM	#9
Gaz Defense Homer Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Rancho Gaz Casino cash: $10010793	Cross-studded brass knucks and an echo of Lucifer's Fall... SPOILER ALERT: I thought Gabriel’s motive was quite poignant. xoxo~ Gaz Thinking about it the next day, which is a rare thing for a cheesy action movie
Posts: 5,911

03-03-2005, 08:49 AM	#10
Misplaced_Chiefs_Fan I am Number Six Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Columbia, MD, USA Casino cash: $-1470000	I was really nervous about this movie, since I know two of the guys who used to write Hellblazer. I wasn't a huge fan of the series though, (bought it to help support my friends, dropped it after they quit writing it). I wasn't in a huge hurry to go see it, but it sounds like a movie that might be a nice two hours of mindfluff. I trust two hoots on the Gaz-meter more than I do most any other reviewer out there. __________________ One of the lowest PPD of any of the original members of the Planet . . . and proud of it. My web site My writer's page
Posts: 6,717

03-03-2005, 10:18 AM	#12
Nightfyre MVP Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Helena, MT Casino cash: $1298849	I liked it for the cool ideas. I was pretty "meh"ed out by the predictability tho.
Posts: 18,647

03-03-2005, 10:38 AM	#14
Ebolapox remember, remember Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: como Casino cash: $-1730097	I really enjoyed it... I walked in not expecting much, and got surprised by a decent to better than decent movie -EB-
Posts: 26,523

03-03-2005, 12:14 PM	#15
Gaz Defense Homer Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Rancho Gaz Casino cash: $10010793	Another one to look forward to... BTW, I saw a preview for “Sin City.” It looks just like the comic. It combines the stories of Marv [Sin City], Hartigan [That Yellow Bastard] and Dwight [The Big Fat Kill]. That’s one I am hot to see. xoxo~ Gaz Just another Frank Miller Geekboy.
Posts: 5,911