The sluttiest girl at Penn State.

[Hammock Parties]

IT'S THE MOST UNIVERSAL THING...IN THE WORLD!

http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive...g_nittany.aspx

Let's talk sex, hugs and handjobs

By Kristina Helfer
Collegian Staff Writer

By now — my junior year of college — I have seen and been involved in some unusual romantic and even casual circumstances.

Though I am only 20, I feel like I am finally beginning to figure out human physiology… and maybe even relationships. You could say I’ve been around the block a few times, but I’m still experiencing new things every day, especially in Happy Valley, on the weekends.

I love sex.

I love talking about it, I love having it, and I’m sure I’m not the only one, male or female, who feels the same way.

Someday, all of us will be having sex — unless you’re still living in your mom’s basement — and it won’t be a big deal.

Maybe you’re having sex right now, while you’re reading this column (lucky you), maybe you had it last night, or maybe you’ve never had it at all, but sex is all around us.

We’re at the point in our lives when we are coming into our sexuality.

We’re learning the mating game.

Who knows, between hook-ups and the need to be “Facebook official,” we might even be the generation that completely kills relationships.

Have you had dirty thoughts about that cute kid at your internship? Have you wondered what your partner would say if you wanted to have sex on the 50-yard-line?

Well, I have, too.

Often, sex is taboo. We can’t discuss what goes on behind the closed doors of the bedroom,

or in my case, under a crabapple tree once.

If you’ve ever watched MTV’s Cribs, you know the first thing anyone says when they enter their bedroom is, “This is where the magic happens.”

Do they really need to say that? Are they sure they’re good enough to really call it magic?

At Penn State, it’s more than in the bedroom — it’s a lofted bed, a walk-in closet at a fraternity or the Nittany Lion Shrine.

For some, it’s a moment of true intimacy, for others it’s just another good night.

Sex is the most universal thing in the entire world. Almost every species — except for asexual ones — has sex in one form or another.

We were given these parts for a reason, so why not take advantage of them?

The thrill of having sex is like nothing else. It’s exciting, and everyone’s talking about it.

College is the time when those whispers become a reality, when people take others’ virginity and roommates are sexiled.

And it’s about time we start talking about it.

I’m not going to tell you to change your beliefs and go crazy, but it’s time to start being open.

It’s time to break society’s chains (or not), and look at sex from a different perspective.

Losing control draws me toward all of this.

I am not a thrill seeker, per se. I hate heights; I will never go skydiving. I don’t ski or mountain bike or do any sort of extreme sports that give you the “rush” people describe, so I have sex.

Don’t think for a minute that sex is a less dangerous version of an extreme sport.

And frankly, I don’t think any extreme sport could give you the feeling that a white-knuckle, toe-curling orgasm does.

The pleasure runs up and down your entire body, and just for a moment — or if you’re lucky, quite a few moments — you disconnect from the stressful world.

There is no better time to have a little fun and explore than in college.

We have few responsibilities, and there will never be as many willing people around to experience the same things with.

It’s also the time when were most unsure about how to go about sex.

I doubt any of us can call ourselves sex aficionados, so let’s dive into a sea of fondling, fellatio and frisking, and figure it out.

Let’s get our minds — and hopefully pelvises — moving, and really delve into what’s important.

Everyone has that crazy story or awkward encounter with a partner that is worthy of being told, and I can relate, so let’s talk about sex, hugs and hand jobs.

You may have thought you could drain away all of your weekend shenanigans, just like that beer bong at last weekend’s football tailgate, but I am here bring them back to the surface.

We are Nittany Lions.

And we’re mounting everyone.

Kristina Helfer is a junior majoring in English and Spanish. She is The Daily Collegian’s Thursday columnist for the Collegian’s sex column, Mounting Nittany.

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looks slutty







thousand-cock stare

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Courting Nittany: Open Letter Asking Kristina Helfer on a Date


http://www.collegian.psu.edu/archive...g_nittany.aspx

Kristina,

Hi! My name is Dennis. I saw your column, “Mounting Nittany,” this morning on the Collegian website and, well, I thought maybe that I’d ask you out on a date. Believe me, I’m not usually this brash, perhaps it was the devil-may-care attitude exhibited in your column that inspired me to write to you. I just got out of a long-term relationship, so I’m not looking for anything particularly serious right now, but based on your column I don’t think you are either, so I thought we might be a good match!

You sound exciting! I need more excitement in my life, I feel like I’ve been stuck in a rut this semester. I need someone to broaden my horizons, and you sound like you like to try new things. I also have a fear of heights and dislike for mountain biking, so I’m interested to hear about the alternatives you’ve explored.

I read a lot about you, so here are some things about me: I’m a senior, I’m 21, I’m studying International Relations, and I’m from Boston. Some of the things that are most attractive to me are a strong personality and a great sense of humor. I love the name of your column—it’s no Savage Love, but it’s still very smart and eye-catching. Also, I love your writing style—it’s like erotic beat poetry. Your descriptions are so vivid—it’s like I’m looking at a picture of your knuckles in my head!

I noticed you mentioned you’re only 20, so I guess that means you can’t hit the bar scene yet, so I guess I can’t ask you out for a beer. But maybe you need a 21-year-old to pick up some Woodchuck Cider? What’s your favorite flavor, Green (Crab) Apple? Haha just kidding.

If things do end up becoming serious, it might take some time for me to introduce you to my mother; you could call me a little Mitch from A Streetcar Named Desire in that sense.

So please email me or tweet at me (I couldn’t find you on Facebook, but if you have one totally friend me. We don’t have to be “Facebook official” yet lol) so we can set something up. I promise I’ll bring you a teddy bear—that’s a sure fire first-date move I learned from my dad, the old dog.

I imagine I’m not the only date request you’ll be receiving today, but I really think we might have some great chemistry and really could click. I’ll send you my number; maybe we can go to Bad Teacher together in the HUB this weekend or take a walk by the Nittany Lion Shrine or something.

In any event, I hope to hear from you soon and look forward to next Thursday’s column!

xoxo, Dennis McNamara

[niblet]

Burn all sluts at the stake, I say.

[Iconic]

Damn... Say what you want to say. But that takes balls.






















And a loose Vagina YOU SLUT!

[Rasputin]

"Someday, all of us will be having sex — unless you’re still living in your mom’s basement "


Well there goes your chances, Gif Horse.

[Hammock Parties]

Oh, Dennis. Godspeed your cock

[Titty Meat]

I'm trying to find that bitch on Facebook

[Hammock Parties]

[DaFace]

Sex is the most universal thing in the entire world. Almost every species — except for asexual ones —has sex in one form or another.

How profound.
Posted via Mobile Device

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[FAX]

I have a feeling she'll be posting on her Aidsbook page in about 3 years.

FAX

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Apparently her dad called into the newspaper 6 times in a 2 hours span this morning completely livid because he said that "somebody hacked her account and posted this" and demanded that it be taken down.

[KcMizzou]

This must be fantastic for Penn State recruiting.

[threebag]