Misc Does the "no contact" rule work?

God of Thunder · 11:39 AM

We've all had those breakups! The ones you didn't see coming, or the ones you did and didn't do anything about it! For whatever reason though, your friends, family, and everyone else always seem to say...

"Do NOT contact them, and in time, they'll come running and begging back"

This always seems strange, however, I think it generally holds true. Once you're gone, you start to mean more to that person. Once you know longer think about it, they tend to come flying back.

Do you all find this to be true or not?

**Bugeater** · 02-08-2012, 09:29 AM

In a situation like this I recommend having sex with her mother.

**Buck** · 02-08-2012, 09:30 AM

Sorry man. I know it sucks to not be with the person you want to be with. It's tough to move on, but its the best thing to do.

FAX · 02-08-2012, 09:42 AM

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

I once left a girl in LA and returned to the Midwest for some R&R after a surgery deal ... a total no-contact situation. She was knocking on my damn door within two weeks. It was really, really embarrassing since I was in the midst of some extremely hedonistic activities when she showed up out of the blue.

I suggest that moving on is the best thing to do. You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm.

There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer.

FAX

el borracho · 02-08-2012, 09:46 AM

Does the "no contact" rule work?

No, nothing works. People are selfish a-holes, incapable of honoring long-term commitments. Get together, get disappointed, break up. Then do it all again with someone else.

Hope that clears it up for you.

Frazod · 02-08-2012, 09:49 AM

Be strong. No groveling.

God of Thunder · 02-08-2012, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FAX

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

I once left a girl in LA and returned to the Midwest for some R&R after a surgery deal ... a total no-contact situation. She was knocking on my damn door within two weeks. It was really, really embarrassing since I was in the midst of some extremely hedonistic activities when she showed up out of the blue.

I suggest that moving on is the best thing to do. You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm.

There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer.

FAX

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 02-08-2012, 10:01 AM

Be hurt. But move on. You don't have a choice at this point. And when she does come back, remember how you feel now, and whether you're willing to let her do it again. If she's dating this soon, she hasn't been with you for awhile.

Dayze · 02-08-2012, 10:01 AM

sucks dude. but I agree...if she doesn't know what she wants afte 1.5 yrs, then how long should you wait for her to figure it out.

IMO, don't contact her; period. and I'd even be reluctant to accept her call/email when she contacts you (because she will).

Treat yourself to some good beer, good beef, and buy a nice handgun/rifle in the meantime.

htismaqe · 02-08-2012, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

**Mr. Flopnuts** · 02-08-2012, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

/thread

Dayze · 02-08-2012, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

precisley. Nicely said.

**Rain Man** · 02-08-2012, 10:06 AM

Life is a journey, and everyone you meet and know is transient. Some of them come and go quickly, just a waitress at a truck stop along your journey. Others hitchhike with you for a couple hundred miles, but eventually they get out at a gas station and walk off while you're getting a Dr. Pepper. But all that does is create an empty seat for the next person to ride along. So follow your route, pick the radio station you want, turn the a/c to the setting you want, and if someone wants to ride along with you for a while, great.

FAX · 02-08-2012, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

I won't say it isn't difficult. Something like this affects your personal sense of worth and self-esteem. Humans don't like that feeling ... not one bit. Personal rejection causes shame and it's a tough one to fight because you're really fighting yourself.

However, it's also the most powerful growth experience that a person can have. I could tell you stories from my own life that are similar. If you read, I can recommend some books that helped me through.

Here's the deal though ... I never would have met the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX had I stayed with prior relationships. It's silly to compare humans in this way, but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX smokes every other girl I've ever known ... including girls I truly loved ... one in particular that I almost married.

You have to dig deep inside yourself and find a way to shut off the past and realize that the best is yet to come. Date a lot of girls. Focus on self-improvement. Motivate yourself. Find something to replace the brooding. Yes, it's difficult now, but things will get better.

This is going to sound crazy, but think about it; What if this girl were hit by a bus and lost her arms and legs. Would you still feel the same way about her? Be honest.

FAX

**bevischief** · 02-08-2012, 10:11 AM

Leave now before there are any kids in the equation. Sounds like she isn't ready to settle down yet. So go have your own good time in Florida. Lots of good looking ladies down there.

View Poll Results: Does the "no contact" rule work?
Yes, it works.	15	37.50%
No, it doesn't work.	25	62.50%
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02-08-2012, 09:09 AM
God of Thunder Trained to reign as the one. Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Casino cash: $8849344	GF and I broke up! Update PG 10. We've all had those breakups! The ones you didn't see coming, or the ones you did and didn't do anything about it! For whatever reason though, your friends, family, and everyone else always seem to say... "Do NOT contact them, and in time, they'll come running and begging back" This always seems strange, however, I think it generally holds true. Once you're gone, you start to mean more to that person. Once you know longer think about it, they tend to come flying back. Do you all find this to be true or not? Last edited by God of Thunder; 02-10-2012 at 11:39 AM..
Posts: 1,489

02-08-2012, 09:29 AM	#2
Bugeater The Maintenance Guy Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Renovated Bugeater Estate Casino cash: $3992680	In a situation like this I recommend having sex with her mother.
Posts: 70,546

02-08-2012, 09:30 AM	#3
Buck Take a Chill Pill Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: South Carolina Casino cash: $6030295	Sorry man. I know it sucks to not be with the person you want to be with. It's tough to move on, but its the best thing to do.
Posts: 44,606

02-08-2012, 09:42 AM	#4
FAX testing ... 1, 2, 3 Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Tennessee Casino cash: $6753759	Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. I once left a girl in LA and returned to the Midwest for some R&R after a surgery deal ... a total no-contact situation. She was knocking on my damn door within two weeks. It was really, really embarrassing since I was in the midst of some extremely hedonistic activities when she showed up out of the blue. I suggest that moving on is the best thing to do. You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm. There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer. FAX
Posts: 44,492

02-08-2012, 09:46 AM	#5
el borracho In Pat We Trust Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Albuquerque, NM Casino cash: $2559148	Does the "no contact" rule work? No, nothing works. People are selfish a-holes, incapable of honoring long-term commitments. Get together, get disappointed, break up. Then do it all again with someone else. Hope that clears it up for you.
Posts: 12,262

02-08-2012, 09:49 AM	#6
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-736615	Be strong. No groveling.
Posts: 121,760

02-08-2012, 10:01 AM	#9
Dayze Resident Glue Sniffer Join Date: Nov 2003 Casino cash: $1789358	sucks dude. but I agree...if she doesn't know what she wants afte 1.5 yrs, then how long should you wait for her to figure it out. IMO, don't contact her; period. and I'd even be reluctant to accept her call/email when she contacts you (because she will). Treat yourself to some good beer, good beef, and buy a nice handgun/rifle in the meantime.
Posts: 37,460

02-08-2012, 10:06 AM	#13
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-632449 VARSITY	Life is a journey, and everyone you meet and know is transient. Some of them come and go quickly, just a waitress at a truck stop along your journey. Others hitchhike with you for a couple hundred miles, but eventually they get out at a gas station and walk off while you're getting a Dr. Pepper. But all that does is create an empty seat for the next person to ride along. So follow your route, pick the radio station you want, turn the a/c to the setting you want, and if someone wants to ride along with you for a while, great. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,434

02-08-2012, 10:11 AM	#15
bevischief .... Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Somewhere Kansas Casino cash: $7739352 VARSITY	Leave now before there are any kids in the equation. Sounds like she isn't ready to settle down yet. So go have your own good time in Florida. Lots of good looking ladies down there.
Posts: 27,771