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Old 01-24-2007, 12:30 AM   Topic Starter
SLQ SLQ is offline
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Are you a cowboy?
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee.

As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.

She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows,
going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring
calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding
my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.? How about you, young lady ? what ' s
your story?"

She said, "I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As
soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I
think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think
about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of
women."

The two sat sipping in silence.A little while later, a man sat down on
the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a
lesbian."
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SLQ is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.SLQ is a favorite in the douche of the year contest.
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:36 AM   #2
KurtCobain KurtCobain is offline
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:41 AM   #3
FAX FAX is offline
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Two miserable cow pokes were attacked by an evil witch who turned one of them into a mushroom.

Well, they had cows to herd and there wasn't time to worry. So, for the next few days, they had a great time herding cows. Life was grand just enjoying the sunshine and getting along with little doggies and watching the tumblin' tumbleweeds and peering off into the open range. Then, just as fast as a horse can pee on a barrel cactus, the mushroomed cow poke turned back into a regular cow poke again.

The other cow poke said, "Dangit. I'm sure sorry you turned back into a cow poke."

The second cow poke said, "Why, you crazy cow poke?"

And the first cow poke said, "Well, because for a little while there, you were a fun guy."

FAX
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Old 01-27-2007, 04:40 PM   #4
RJ RJ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX
Two miserable cow pokes were attacked by an evil witch who turned one of them into a mushroom.

Well, they had cows to herd and there wasn't time to worry. So, for the next few days, they had a great time herding cows. Life was grand just enjoying the sunshine and getting along with little doggies and watching the tumblin' tumbleweeds and peering off into the open range. Then, just as fast as a horse can pee on a barrel cactus, the mushroomed cow poke turned back into a regular cow poke again.

The other cow poke said, "Dangit. I'm sure sorry you turned back into a cow poke."

The second cow poke said, "Why, you crazy cow poke?"

And the first cow poke said, "Well, because for a little while there, you were a fun guy."

FAX


Now THAT's funny.
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:43 AM   #5
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Why do your joke threads always have hyperlinks in them?
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Old 01-24-2007, 01:31 AM   #6
SLQ SLQ is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia
Why do your joke threads always have hyperlinks in them?
The warp drive is out of sync.
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:46 AM   #7
Bugeater Bugeater is offline
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Well Im packin up my game and Im a head out west
Where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts
Find a nest in the hills chill like flynt
Buy an old droptop find a spot to pimp
And Im a kid rock it up and down your block
With a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch
Buy a yacht with a flag sayin chillin the most
Then rock that bitch up and down the coast
Give a toast to the sun, drink with the stars
Get thrown in the mix and tossed out of bars
Sip the teajuna... I wanna roam
Find the old town chillin fools then come back home
Start an escort service, for all the right reasons
And set up shop at the top of four seasons
Kid rock and Im the real mccoy
And Im headin out west sucker...because I wanna be a
Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy baby
West coast chillin with the boones wine
I wanna be a cowboy baby
Ridin at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away
I bet youll hear my whistle blowin when my train rolls in
It goes (whistling) like dust in the wind
Stoned pimp, stoned brew, stoned out of my mind
I once was lost, but now Im just blind
Palm trees and weeds, scabbed knees and rice
Get a map to the stars, find heidi flice
And if the price is right Im gonna make my bid boy
And let cali-for-ny-aye know why they call me
Cowboy baby
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy baby
West coast chillin with the boones wine
I wanna be a cowboy baby
Ridin at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy baby
I can smell a pig from a mile away
Yeah, kid rock you can call me tex
Rollin sunset woman with a bottle of becks
Seen a slimmy in a vette, rolled down my glass
And said, yeah this dick fits right in your ass
No kiddin, gun slingin, spurs hittin the floor
Call me hoss, Im the boss, with the sauce in the horse
No remorse for the sherrif, in his eye I aint right
Im gonna paint his town red, and paint his wife white, uh
Cause chaos, rock like amadeus
Find west coast pussy for my detroit players
Mack like mayors, ball like lakers
They told us to leave, but bet they cant make us
Why they wanna pick on me... lock me up and snort away my key
I aint no g, Im just a regular failure
I aint straight outta compton Im straight out the trailer
Cuss like a sailor, drink like a mick
My only words of wisdom are just suck my dick
Im flickin my bic up and down that coast and
Keep on truckin until it falls into motion
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy
Spend all my time at hollywood and vine
Cowboy
Ridin at night cause I sleep all day
Cowboy
I can smell a pig from a mile away
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy
With the top let back and the sunshine shinin
Cowboy
Hollywood and vine
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:54 AM   #8
Frazod Frazod is offline
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A man on a flight to Dallas strikes up a conversation with an incredibly beautiful woman sitting next to him.

"So, why are you going to Dallas?" he asks.

"The annual convention," she replies, "of the Young Nymphomaniacs Association of America."

This perks the man up. "So why is the convention being held in Dallas?"

"Because," she replies, "we've conducted a great deal of research, and have concluded that cowboys and Jews make the best lovers. And there are large numbers of both groups in Dallas." The woman pauses, then says, "I'm Sue, by the way. I didn't get your name."

"Hopalong Weinberg," the man says.
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:56 AM   #9
007 007 is offline
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VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by frazod
A man on a flight to Dallas strikes up a conversation with an incredibly beautiful woman sitting next to him.

"So, why are you going to Dallas?" he asks.

"The annual convention," she replies, "of the Young Nymphomaniacs Association of America."

This perks the man up. "So why is the convention being held in Dallas?"

"Because," she replies, "we've conducted a great deal of research, and have concluded that cowboys and Jews make the best lovers. And there are large numbers of both groups in Dallas." The woman pauses, then says, "I'm Sue, by the way. I didn't get your name."

"Hopalong Weinberg," the man says.
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Old 01-24-2007, 12:51 AM   #10
KurtCobain KurtCobain is offline
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i wanna be a cowboy baby
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KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.KurtCobain is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 01-24-2007, 01:20 AM   #11
Smed1065 Smed1065 is offline
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A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porno film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porno theatre to see it. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M and even a dog.
After a while, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
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Old 01-24-2007, 01:21 AM   #12
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That doesn't have a damn thing to do with cowboys, Mr. smed1065.

FAX
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Old 01-24-2007, 02:52 AM   #13
Smed1065 Smed1065 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FAX
That doesn't have a damn thing to do with cowboys, Mr. smed1065.

FAX
I thought it did. They bet on a dog and he had to shit during the race...IMO
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Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Smed1065 Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 01-24-2007, 01:58 AM   #14
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So, you're spamming then?
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Old 01-27-2007, 01:15 PM   #15
Smed1065 Smed1065 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phobia
So, you're spamming then?

Guess you should know?
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