I'm cohabitating... would appreciate any advice.

[Direckshun]

Well I did the dumbest ****ing thing possible and fell in love with someone.

Now we're making plans to move in together sometime this coming fall. She's lived with a significant other before, but this is the first time I've ever done it.

So considering how green I am to the whole process, I'd appreciate the ironclad braintrust at the Planet to provide me with advice (preferably from experience) so I don't walk into bear trap after bear trap throughout this ordeal.

Thanks in advance.

[StcChief]

Just say no..... give her a drawer, little closet space, toothbrush....

[seclark]

make sure she knows to raise the seat back up after she's finished.
sec

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by StcChief

Just say no..... give her a drawer, little closet space, toothbrush....

Originally Posted by seclark

make sure she knows to raise the seat back up after she's finished.
sec

If only we still had tags.

[Vegas_Dave]

Don't.

Basically, she will take over your place and you have only yourself to blame. Plus, you cannot ask her to leave post-lovin or post-argument.

[The Franchise]

I'll be doing the same thing as you.....but further down the road.

[shakesthecat]

Make sure she signs up for her own ChiefsPlanet user account.

[Abba-Dabba]

What ever you do, never come home and say "honey, your breath smells like pure ass."

That didn't go over to well.

[Brock]

Why are you doing this?

[stlchiefs]

Originally Posted by Saggysack

What ever you do, never come home and say "honey, your breath smells like pure ass."

That didn't go over to well.

On that note, don't ever come home and left her smell your dik either.

[Radar Chief]

Best advice I have for you is don't ask for love life advise on the Planet.

[Direckshun]

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

Best advice I have for you is don't ask for love life advise on the Planet.

[KCJohnny]

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

Best advice I have for you is don't ask for love life advise on the Planet.

Why its a bad idea

Consider the following excerpts from various studies:

• Cohabiting partners "experience significantly more difficulties in subsequent marriages and with issues of adultery, alcohol, drugs, and independence than couples who had not cohabited." Marriages preceded by cohabitation are 50 to 100 percent more likely to break up than those not preceded by cohabitation.(William Axinn and Arland Thornton, "The Relationship Between Cohabitation and Divorce: Selectivity or Casual Influence?" Demography, Vol. 29, 1992, page 358.)
• Of all sexually active people, married couples report being the most physically pleased and emotionally satisfied. (Robert T. Michael, John H. Gagnon, and Edward O. Lauman, Sex in America: A Definitive Survey, Boston: Little, Brown & Co., 1994, page 124.)
• Cohabiting couples have less healthy relationships than married couples. (Jan E. Stets, "The Link Between Past and Present Intimate Relationships," Journal of Family Issues, 114, 1993, page 251).
• Males beating female partners are "at least twice as common among cohabitors as it is among married partners."(Jan E. Stets, "Cohabiting and Marital Aggression: The Role of Social Isolation," Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol. 53, 1991, pages 669-670)
• The number of cases of major depression per 100 people per year: Married and Never Divorced--1.5; Never Married--2.4; Divorced Once--4.1; Cohabiting--5.1; Divorced twice--5.8. (Lee Robins and David Regier, Psychiatric Disorders in America: The Epidemiologic Catchment Area Study, New York: Free Press, 1991, page 72.)
• A study published in the American Sociological Review found that for couples that cohabit with their future spouses, they explain: "Overall association exists between premarital cohabitation and subsequent marital instability. The dissolution rates of women who cohabit premaritally with their future spouse are, on average, nearly 80 percent higher than the rates of those who do not."
  Neil G. Bennett, Ann Blanc Klimas and David E. Bloom, Commitment and the Modern Union: Assessing the Link Between Premarital Cohabitation and Subsequent Marital Stability, American Sociological Review, 1988, p.132.
• The University of California, Los Angeles, published research in The Journal of Personality Assessment, that looked at "problem areas" for married couples who did and did not cohabit prior to marriage. The study found the top three problems that distinguished pre-marital cohabitants from non-premarital cohabitants were drunkenness, adultery and drug-abuse (in that order).
  Michael D. Newcomb and P.M. Bentler, Assessment of Personality and Demographic Aspects of Cohabitation and Marital Success, Journal of Personality Assessment, 1980, p.16
  
• Brown University and the University of Michigan studying the nest-leaving process found that "only those leaving in conjunction with marriage were truly unlikely to return" to their parents' home. However, "cohabitors were very likely to return home for an extended stay," ibid. The study found 20 percent of cohabitants returned home and only 2 percent of marrieds returned. Goldscheider, et al. conclude that "it is difficult to argue that cohabitors resemble married people," ibid., p. 695.
  Frances Goldsheider, Arland Thornton, and Linda Young-DeMarco, A Portrait of the Nest-Leaving Process in Early Adulthood, Demography, 1993, p. 694.
  

This is only the tip of the ice burg. It's not just religious people who say marriage is better, the actual facts speak for themselves. In truth, most women who live with a man before marriage really believe they will marry him. It is supposed to be a kind of "trial marriage". It seems like a good idea at first but it doesn't really work out that way.
Only one couple in five who lives together before marriage actually ends up getting married.

Not to mention its a mortal sin (6th commandment) which leads to damnation.

[Brock]

Originally Posted by KCJohnny

Not to mention its a mortal sin (6th commandment) which leads to damnation.

Thanks for the view from the coocoo for cocoa puffs part of the world.

[jAZ]

Originally Posted by KCJohnny

This is only the tip of the ice burg. It's not just religious people who say marriage is better, the actual facts speak for themselves. In truth, most women who live with a man before marriage really believe they will marry him. It is supposed to be a kind of "trial marriage". It seems like a good idea at first but it doesn't really work out that way.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT]
Only one couple in five who lives together before marriage actually ends up getting married.

Not to mention its a mortal sin (6th commandment) which leads to damnation.

Success of cohabitation and marriage is a reflection of personal emotional maturity. If you are an emotional adult, who's entering the search for a partner with open eyes, and a desire to make healthy, selfless sacrifices, then you will be far more likely to find someone who has a similar world view.

Those two people will work hard to learn how to have a healthy relationship, no matter what religion dictates, or scholars study. Picking the right person for you is critical and it takes time and a personal willingness to be open and honest about who you are, where you are in your life and what your expectations in a relationship are. And most importantly, it requires a willingness to be alone as you take a pass on one wrong person after another. Neediness and desperation, even if only a little, cause so many people to jump into this or that relationship, and hoping it will work out this time.

For me, the right person, seperated herself from everyone else I had dated in such a completely obvious way that it was easy.

I can't speak for all relationships and all people, but my experience tells me that if you have doubts, it's probably not the right situation at the right time.