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Old 09-09-2008, 02:40 PM   Topic Starter
bobbything bobbything is offline
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Letter from Pats fan to NFL Commish
Didn't see this posted.
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Old 09-09-2008, 02:48 PM   #2
triple triple is offline
Stop saying "This."
 
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how about the text of it
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triple ....proof positive that somebody pissed in the gene pool.
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Old 09-09-2008, 02:53 PM   #3
bobbything bobbything is offline
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COMMISHUNAH GOODELL, YOU MUST SUSPEND THE FACKING SEASON!


Dee-ah Rawjah Fackin’ Goddell,

It is my-ah understanding that you have nawt suspended the remaindah of games on the 2008 NFL schedule. WHAT THAH FACK AHH YOU WAITING FAR, YOU REDHEADED FACK?!

The events of last Sunday have cast dahhhhk cloud on the entiah NFL. It’s a very dahk cloud: dahkkah than the dahhkest dahhkie that has evah rawbbed a lickah stare! AND THAT’S PRETTY FACKING DAHK!

(cranks POD album)

I cannot see how you can allow league play to continue in light of this incredible facking tragedy. We, the legendary Baston fans, ahhh suffaring! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT, YOU NEW YARK Rump RangerGOT?! This is the warst tragedy of ow-uh times. It’s fahhh warse than that 9/11 shit. Sure-ah, those camelfackahs killed lawts of people, but they also took out a shitload of Rump Rangergot Yankee fans, AND NO TEARS NEED TO BE SHED OVAH THAT!

(puts entire tin of Kodiak in top lip and entire tin of Skoal in bottom lip)

This terrible injury that has befallen the great Tawmmy Brady is the worst thing that has ever happened in ow-uh lifetimes, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED TO BASTON FANS! WE DIDN’T DESERVE TO HAVE THIS HAPPEN TO US! WE AHHH THE GREATEST FANS IN THE FACKING WORLD, AND WE DESERVE BOTH YOUR-AH ADMIRATION AND YOUR-AH PITY!



(does a 2×20 set of bicep curls on barstool))

That is why, far thah good of us Baston fans, and they-ahfor-ah, far thah good of thah whole warld, you must suspend the rest of this NFL season. The league clearly cannot function if the Pats ahh nawt they-ah fackin’ dawminant selves! CAN’T YOU FACKIN’ SEE THAT! No TRUE football fan would evah want that to happen! You must suspend the games, and play next season with these commemorative patches on every facking jersey!

Your-ah league cannot go on without Tawm Brady! ESPN said so! That’s like the NBA trying to go on without LARRY FACKING BIRD! And look how that turned out! No basketbawl fan wants to see some carnrowed dahkie jungle up the game!

(puts on Bird jersey with no undershirt)

And what kinda facking team would accept thah facking Lombahhhdi Trophy if they did nawt beat the Pats to win it? THAT WOULD NAWT BE A LEGITIMATE CHAMPIONSHIP! IT SHOULD HAVE A FACKIN’ ASTERISK! ASTERISK! ASTERISK!

WE ALL KNOW THAH FACKIN’ PATS WOULD HAVE DAWMINATED THIS YEE-AH IF BRADY HAD STAYED HEALTHY! NO ONE DENIES THIS! Do you really wawnt ot have a league way-uh a team othah than the Pats wins a title? I THINK NAWT! THAT WOULDN’T BE RIGHT!

(spits on immigrant)

If you play these games, you ahhh showing us Baston fans great disrespect! We’ll nevah get ovah it! I may have to punch at least a dozen South Americans just to feel bettah!!! How could you live with yarself, YOU FACK!

Tommy Sr.: Tawmmy!

Dad?

Tommy Sr.: Thah fack ahh you doin’?

I’m writing a fackin’ lettah!

Tommy Sr.: What ahh you, a fackin’ Rump Rangergot? “Ooh look at me! I write fackin’ lattahs I’m like Nat fackin’ Hahhhhtharn!” Get me a fackin’ scawtch and join yar 12 brothahs and 13 sistahs with me at thah bah, yah little quee-ah!!

Okay, Dad! Yar the best Dad evah! Remember when we used to go to Pats games when I was a kid? OW-UH YOUTH WAS BETTAH THAN ANYONE ELSE’S YOUTH!

Tommy Sr.: You fackin’ hated the Pats when you were-ah a kid. Fack you, yah little Rump Rangergot. I wish your whore-ah of a mothah had used a gawddman diaphragm. YOU KIDS AHH USING MY DRINKING MONEY! GET FACKED!

Yeah? Well FACK YOU OLD MAN! I’m my own fackin’ man now! I gawt three jawb applications out they-ah! LOTTA IRONS IN THE FAIH!!!!

Tommy Sr.: Leave me alone, you little facking shit. I WISH I NEVER HAD TO LEAVE MY GAWDDAMN LOBSTAH BOAT.

Gawd, yah gawtta love my Dad, don’t yah, Commish?! Anyway, stawp playing these facking games. No one wants to see a Bradyless NFL. Besides, THE FACKIN’ SAWX COULD STILL WIN THE EAST! YANKEES SACK! YANKEES SACK! YANKEES SACK!

Fack you and your-ahs,

Tommy
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Old 09-09-2008, 02:54 PM   #4
Jewish Rabbi Jewish Rabbi is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by triple View Post
how about the text of it
It's gay anyway...
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Old 09-09-2008, 02:53 PM   #5
Blindside58 Blindside58 is offline
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The only voice I could read this in my brain was Matt Damon.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:06 PM   #6
Garcia Bronco Garcia Bronco is offline
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Originally Posted by Blindside58 View Post
The only voice I could read this in my brain was Matt Damon.

LOL. Me too
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:13 PM   #7
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say what???? WTF did he say???? dahkkah??? a severe speech impediment. whoever put this together ah toethgetter has to much time on their hands.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:22 PM   #8
kcxiv kcxiv is offline
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I finished the first sentence. Once people start spelling them as Dem or this as dis, i am done reading.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:26 PM   #9
SPATCH SPATCH is offline
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that was ****ing ghey
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:33 PM   #10
Frazod Frazod is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blindside58 View Post
The only voice I could read this in my brain was Matt Damon.
Same here.

No wonder there was so much head shooting in that movie. Seriously, it's the best thing to do with 'em.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:10 PM   #11
BigMeatballDave BigMeatballDave is offline
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:26 PM   #12
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
I'll be back.
 
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MAN!

WE INJURED THE **** OUT OF TOM BRADY!

This season is a success.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:32 PM   #13
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MAN!

WE INJURED THE **** OUT OF TOM BRADY!

This season is a success.

I agree!
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:28 PM   #14
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Pretty dumb
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:34 PM   #15
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Yup...I pictured Matt Damon from The Departed...spot on!
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