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Old 02-08-2010, 12:21 AM   Topic Starter
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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The Sermon of Breesus

http://www.virtualsportsnet.com/2010...on-of-breesus/

Drew Brees to some.

Breesus Christ to more.


Quarterback of the New Orleans Saints is a man named Drew Brees. His family and friends refer to him as Drew. Many more refer to him as Breesus Christ. After winning the Super Bowl and leading Who Dat Nation to a victory over the Colts, Breesus wishes to spread his gospel. He intends to use his super bowl victory as a platform to launch the sermon of Breesus into the limelight.



LESSONS FROM BREESUS

From the Book of N’awlins 6:1-14a (courtesy of forum member IamMedellin)

The “Days of Breesus” – Drew 17:26-27

And as it was in the days of the Gras of Mardi, so shall it be also in the days of the Bowl so Super. They did eat, they drank, they banged Reggie Bush’s wife, they were engulfed in Ba-Donk-a-Donk, until the day that the Peyton entered onto the field, and the colts came, and destroyed them all, Or so They thought

Those who believed will be the most wicked and spiritually careless analysts ever

The “Days of Breesus” that he referred to were not the days before the Bowl, but the days preceding His second coming

-think of how evil and careless this world has become before the Bowl

We are in the days leading up to those days and many VSNers are getting caught up in it

Breesus was a “Just man”, “Perfect in his generation” and “played catch with God” -signs of last days – Virgins turned to a book of clowns, evil men and seducers actually watched Jersey Shore, perilous times

We are encouraged by Breesus to live a godly life in an ungodly world

Brees be with you


May Brees be with you

What is mortal man’s response to encountering the Holiness of Breesus?

From the Book of N’awlins 6:1-17b

Drew 3:7-10 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they removed their jerseys together, and made themselves skirts. And they heard the voice of Breesus walking in the turf amidst the cheers of the faithful: and Romo and his wife Roy hid themselves from the presence of Breesus amongst the zebras of the garden. And the Breesus called unto him, and said unto him, Where art thou? And Romo said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked in skill; and I hid myself.

The #4 Elder in Revelation

Revelation 4:11 The four elder and eleven savages fell down before him that sat on the throne,the Elder believed that his savages would siege the throne as many of the house of ESPN predicted, The savages looked upon the #4 elder and worship him that he QB for ever and ever, and cast their triumph upon the throne, saying, We Dat.

And his Arch Angel Vilma stood round about the throne with his holiest of Saints, and about the elder and the eleven savages, and they fell before the throne on their faces, and worshipped Breesus.

And the #4 elder said, Amen. And the #4 elder and his eleven savages fell down and worshipped him..


Praise Breesus



“Grasping for more”

Drew 26:20-25

In the first chapter of N’awlins, Sean tells us that the wrath of Breesus is
revealed from the shotgun against all ungodliness and unrighteousness. He tells us that men are filled with all manner of wickedness and corruption. Then he lists some sins. Among the many foul sins listed, covetousness is near the top.

Warner, the man who brought judgment upon Rodger’s army, committed this sin. His coach told Warner to out gunsling Breesus after the walls fell down flat.

He warned him that all the glory of the championship game, and all the spoils of battle were His. Warner saw the sea of black and gold, the weak corners, and the glory of Rams gone-bye. He began to covet them, and he took them. He attempted to steal the “Glory”. Warner could not help what he saw, but he could help what he coveted and what he stole. Then he tried to hide what he had done.

The outcome of this sunday is one of the saddest in the Book: “And his Cardinals left him stranded in the desert and burned his last day with fire, for his glory was fleeting and his career was no more”

And Breesus said, “Take heed, and beware of covetousness, for a QB’s career consisteth not in the abundance of the faded glory which he possesseth”

On This day….on the morning of The Bowl so Super

We Pray

Our Breesus, who art in Uptown,
Hallowed by thy name.
Thy ring will come,
Thy will be done,
On FieldTurf as it is on grass.
Give us this day a 40 point victory,
And forgive us for our “Who Dats!”,
As you march down the field.
And lead us not into 3rd and Long,
And deliver us from defeat.

Amen

http://saintbreesus.com/wwbd



And Here on his Glorious Day, We pray And We Praise His Name

Had he receded the floodwater and not given us our team back
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us our team and not provided a Payton
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he provided a Payton and not signed a Breesus
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he signed a Breesus and not drafted a Bush
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he drafted a Bush and not found a Colston in the 7th round
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he found a Colston in the 7th round and not provided the 2006 season
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he provided the 2006 season and not a win on Monday night home opener
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he a win on Monday night home opener and not a NFC South title
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a NFC South title and not a trip to Chicago
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a trip to Chicago and not given us two seasons to remind us they are still the Saints
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us two seasons to remind us they are still the Saints and not given us 2009 season
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us the 2009 season and not provided 10 straight wins
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he provided 10 straight wins and not a win on Monday night against New England
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a win on Monday night against New England and not a NFC South title
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a NFC title and not home field in the playoffs
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us home field in the playoffs and not a NFC Championship
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a NFC Championship and not a Super Bowl versus a Manning
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a Super Bowl versus a Manning and not a Super Bowl Title
Benson, It would have been enough for us

Had he given us a Super Bowl Title and not the world largest victory parade Mardi Gras!
Benson, It would have been enough for us

He has provided all of these things and for this we are grateful.

And on This Day We Praise His Name
PRAISE HIM!



From the Book of N’awlins 6:3-19b

Drew 2:4-9

History tells us that a man’s legacy is built from the premise,
that within his life the moments lived, once lived become a piece of his history

Certain moments can never be forgotten, be they tragedies
or The Glory

In the One time Epical Battle between the Greatness of Peyton and our Savior,

The Peyton, Son of Archie, Brother of Eli

Was the Quintessential archtype of limitless talent and Greatness

But be it difference of opinion..

The Peyton had beaten Myths, Legends, Cheaters and other Great men

He could Never hope to stand on the same field as our Savior..

Praise Breesus

As the Victor of that One time battle

Breesus then…Defeated what was up until then..UnDefeatable

He Conquered what was then..UnConquerable

He Dominated what was then..InDominable

On this Day..Peyton Was Great

BREESUS WAS ULTIMATE!!!


Breesus Christ.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:22 AM   #2
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Thank you Breesuuuuuuuuus
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:27 AM   #3
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Thank you Breesuuuuuuuuus
I thought you'd like that.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:23 AM   #4
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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What the ****?
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:23 AM   #5
WildTurkey WildTurkey is offline
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Breesus Christ!! who came up with this shit
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:29 AM   #6
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Breesus Christ!! who came up with this shit
this
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88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.88TG88 has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:25 AM   #7
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Didn't read but the pics were funny.
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acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.acesn8s would the whole thing.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:28 AM   #8
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is offline
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Didn't read but the pics were funny.
It's a little weird but the stuff with Warner is amusing.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:25 AM   #9
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Well done.

I win vicariously through other bumbling franchises seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

That, and Arby's....
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I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:27 AM   #10
WildTurkey WildTurkey is offline
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Buddy Breesus FTW
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:27 AM   #11
Rausch Rausch is offline
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The best for last:

Quote:
Praise Breesus

As the Victor of that One time battle

Breesus then…Defeated what was up until then..UnDefeatable

He Conquered what was then..UnConquerable

He Dominated what was then..InDominable

On this Day..Peyton Was Great

BREESUS WAS ULTIMATE!!!
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Quote:
"He had no teeth, and he was slobbering all over himself. I'm thinking, 'You can have your money back, just get me out of here. Let me go be an accountant." I can't tell you how badly I wanted out of there."
Denver rookie QB John Elway, on Jack Lambert, after Lambert and the Steelers knocked Elway out of his first game as a pro (1983).
Quote:
Originally Posted by rico
I wish I always ended up at gay bars.
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Old 02-08-2010, 12:27 AM   #12
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Very funny, although I had to skim a lot of it. Too many words.
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:17 AM   #13
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:22 AM   #14
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Didn't read any of it, just looked at the pics, but the looter guy in this pic has me laughing my ass off
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Old 02-08-2010, 01:33 AM   #15
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Didn't read any of it, just looked at the pics, but the looter guy in this pic has me laughing my ass off
I totally missed that. That's awesome!
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