Poop Experienced every man's worst nightmare today

Jim Jones · 11-18-2010, 08:56 PM

On my lunch break today I went a local mexican place..it's mostly for takeout, pretty small and very limited seating. So I order and then go to take a piss, but the bathroom is locked. OK, I wait.

About 5 minutes passes, I can tell my burrito is just about done, and the door opens and a GORGEOUS looking woman walks out. Brunette, perfect body, wearing a low-cut tank top and fairly short shorts. Couldn't have been more than 27 or 28. I sneak a peak as she walks by, then open the door and encounter one of the foulest scents I've smelled in recent memory. I grew up in a house with three other guys (brothers and dad) and what I smelled in that bathroom would rank right up there with some of the most toxic smelling dumps I ever experienced in my house growing up. I stepped inside and literally let out a loud "OH MY GOD" and then quickly turned around to see if anyone heard me. The door had already shut behind me, and now I was trapped. So I held my nose, pissed, and wondered to myself how such a gorgeous creature could push out something that smelled so utterly disgusting.

Delano · 11-18-2010, 09:07 PM

Roses really smell like poo-poo-poopoo.
Posted via Mobile Device

Fritz88 · 11-18-2010, 09:09 PM

I'd hit it.

Psyko Tek · 11-18-2010, 09:16 PM

that's your worst nightmare?

hokay

jd1020 · 11-18-2010, 09:18 PM

Shit smells? Wow. News to me.

My worst nightmare would be that shit coming out in the middle of sex after giving anal a try.

CoMoChief · 11-18-2010, 09:17 PM

That's horrible. I'd call her out on that shit. There's no excuse for someone that hot to smell that bad.

Norman Einstein · 11-18-2010, 09:20 PM

What's the chance she thought the same thing when she went in there? It was a Mexican Restaurant right? What was she doing in the Mens room?

jd1020 · 11-18-2010, 09:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norman Einstein

What's the chance she thought the same thing when she went in there? It was a Mexican Restaurant right? What was she doing in the Mens room?

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

Jim Jones · 11-18-2010, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jd1020

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

yeah, that's how it was at this place. and I mean, jesus, I've smelled some horrid things in public restrooms, but this was right up there with the worst.

Norman Einstein · 11-18-2010, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jd1020

Most small restaurants (fast food), in my experience, don't have his and her bathrooms.

In Podunk America I might expect that, but I don't think I've ever been in a Restaurant that only had a single.

**kysirsoze** · 11-18-2010, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Norman Einstein

In Podunk America I might expect that, but I don't think I've ever been in a Restaurant that only had a single.

I live in Los Angeles and I see this all the time. Small places, but sometimes they're still pretty nice. Just no room for two restrooms.

Lonewolf Ed · 11-18-2010, 09:22 PM

On the up side, I guess you know she doesn't binge and purge.

damaticous · 11-18-2010, 09:33 PM

So, my girlfriend and I ate Mexican food last night and had a lot of alcohol. After we went home, made sweet love, then passed out on the bed. we woke up this morning and did our normal routine.

We decided that we'd meet for lunch at Taco bell for something quick and Mexican...again.

Tonight she still had a hankerin for Mexican food so we went to this local Mexican place. It's mostly a little hole in the wall for take out but some people like to stay and eat at the little tables that are inside.

Well, as we walk in my girlfriend says "I've gotta take a massive poo! Could you please order a beef Chimichonga for me?".

So, she goes to the bathroom while I order our food.

She comes back a little later and sits down with me at our table and says.

"Holy crap!!! That was the stinkiest poo i've ever had!!! All the recent Mexican food and alcohol hasn't been very nice to my tummy."

i say "bummber deal" as I proudly munch on my burrito.

"I went poo, and there was this cute little man waiting in line for the bathroom. I felt so sorry for him. I left a nasty smell for him".

"bummber deal" I say again.

"as I left the bathroom on my way to the table I heard him say 'OH MY GOD!'. I had to laugh. If he thought that was bad...."

"yeppers", I say. "you get some nasty smelly poo and farts after that much alcohol and Mexican. Maybe you should go back and let another one rip just outside the door before he comes out."

So she leaves the table and comes back a few seconds later.

"Whew! that was worse than my poo. Poor bastard. At least I'm wearing a low-cut tank top and these fairly short shorts, otherwise he'd think I was a totally disgusting gross person."

"maybe you should to say you are sorry and let him grab a boob?" I ask.

"yeah. i feel kind of bad. i think you are right."

She comes back and says....

"I was gunna lift up my low-cut tank top and let him feel my right boob, but when he came out his face was green. So I said 'i'm sorry about my stinky poo.' The guy said 'holy crap lady. that was nasty, but...."

I thought I'd continue the story.

Who's going to continue it??????/

Jewish Rabbi · 11-19-2010, 03:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by damaticous

So, my girlfriend and I ate Mexican food last night and had a lot of alcohol. After we went home, made sweet love, then passed out on the bed. we woke up this morning and did our normal routine.

We decided that we'd meet for lunch at Taco bell for something quick and Mexican...again.

Tonight she still had a hankerin for Mexican food so we went to this local Mexican place. It's mostly a little hole in the wall for take out but some people like to stay and eat at the little tables that are inside.

Well, as we walk in my girlfriend says "I've gotta take a massive poo! Could you please order a beef Chimichonga for me?".

So, she goes to the bathroom while I order our food.

She comes back a little later and sits down with me at our table and says.

"Holy crap!!! That was the stinkiest poo i've ever had!!! All the recent Mexican food and alcohol hasn't been very nice to my tummy."

i say "bummber deal" as I proudly munch on my burrito.

"I went poo, and there was this cute little man waiting in line for the bathroom. I felt so sorry for him. I left a nasty smell for him".

"bummber deal" I say again.

"as I left the bathroom on my way to the table I heard him say 'OH MY GOD!'. I had to laugh. If he thought that was bad...."

"yeppers", I say. "you get some nasty smelly poo and farts after that much alcohol and Mexican. Maybe you should go back and let another one rip just outside the door before he comes out."

So she leaves the table and comes back a few seconds later.

"Whew! that was worse than my poo. Poor bastard. At least I'm wearing a low-cut tank top and these fairly short shorts, otherwise he'd think I was a totally disgusting gross person."

"maybe you should to say you are sorry and let him grab a boob?" I ask.

"yeah. i feel kind of bad. i think you are right."

She comes back and says....

"I was gunna lift up my low-cut tank top and let him feel my right boob, but when he came out his face was green. So I said 'i'm sorry about my stinky poo.' The guy said 'holy crap lady. that was nasty, but...."

I thought I'd continue the story.

Who's going to continue it??????/

Oh my god fail. Jesus Christ.

Demonpenz · 11-18-2010, 09:53 PM

there are times when I walk into a bathroom and I immidately look around to see if there is a dead racoon or something in a vent

11-18-2010, 08:56 PM	Topic Starter
Jim Jones Gettin T4iggy With It Join Date: May 2005 Casino cash: $9935155	Experienced every man's worst nightmare today On my lunch break today I went a local mexican place..it's mostly for takeout, pretty small and very limited seating. So I order and then go to take a piss, but the bathroom is locked. OK, I wait. About 5 minutes passes, I can tell my burrito is just about done, and the door opens and a GORGEOUS looking woman walks out. Brunette, perfect body, wearing a low-cut tank top and fairly short shorts. Couldn't have been more than 27 or 28. I sneak a peak as she walks by, then open the door and encounter one of the foulest scents I've smelled in recent memory. I grew up in a house with three other guys (brothers and dad) and what I smelled in that bathroom would rank right up there with some of the most toxic smelling dumps I ever experienced in my house growing up. I stepped inside and literally let out a loud "OH MY GOD" and then quickly turned around to see if anyone heard me. The door had already shut behind me, and now I was trapped. So I held my nose, pissed, and wondered to myself how such a gorgeous creature could push out something that smelled so utterly disgusting.
Posts: 1,005

11-18-2010, 09:07 PM	#2
Delano [b]Supporter[/b] Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: A Hypnagogic Landscape Casino cash: $7715015	Roses really smell like poo-poo-poopoo. Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 13,018

11-18-2010, 09:09 PM	#3
Fritz88 Custom User Title Join Date: Nov 2008 Casino cash: $8505943	I'd hit it.
Posts: 12,706

11-18-2010, 09:16 PM	#4
Psyko Tek special teams Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Mesa AZ Casino cash: $10015665	that's your worst nightmare? hokay __________________ Psyko Tek The keyboard has been drinking,
Posts: 12,018

11-18-2010, 09:18 PM	#5
jd1020 In Search of a Life Join Date: Nov 2010 Casino cash: $7032645	Shit smells? Wow. News to me. My worst nightmare would be that shit coming out in the middle of sex after giving anal a try.
Posts: 24,502

11-18-2010, 09:17 PM	#6
CoMoChief Mahomes Dynasty Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Parts Unknown Casino cash: $7672254	That's horrible. I'd call her out on that shit. There's no excuse for someone that hot to smell that bad.
Posts: 39,245

11-18-2010, 09:20 PM	#7
Norman Einstein MVP Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: USA Casino cash: $10004900	What's the chance she thought the same thing when she went in there? It was a Mexican Restaurant right? What was she doing in the Mens room?
Posts: 5,386

11-18-2010, 09:22 PM	#12
Lonewolf Ed Veteran Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Olathe, KS Casino cash: $10606233	On the up side, I guess you know she doesn't binge and purge.
Posts: 3,774

11-18-2010, 09:33 PM	#13
damaticous lurker Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: home Casino cash: $9959900	So, my girlfriend and I ate Mexican food last night and had a lot of alcohol. After we went home, made sweet love, then passed out on the bed. we woke up this morning and did our normal routine. We decided that we'd meet for lunch at Taco bell for something quick and Mexican...again. Tonight she still had a hankerin for Mexican food so we went to this local Mexican place. It's mostly a little hole in the wall for take out but some people like to stay and eat at the little tables that are inside. Well, as we walk in my girlfriend says "I've gotta take a massive poo! Could you please order a beef Chimichonga for me?". So, she goes to the bathroom while I order our food. She comes back a little later and sits down with me at our table and says. "Holy crap!!! That was the stinkiest poo i've ever had!!! All the recent Mexican food and alcohol hasn't been very nice to my tummy." i say "bummber deal" as I proudly munch on my burrito. "I went poo, and there was this cute little man waiting in line for the bathroom. I felt so sorry for him. I left a nasty smell for him". "bummber deal" I say again. "as I left the bathroom on my way to the table I heard him say 'OH MY GOD!'. I had to laugh. If he thought that was bad...." "yeppers", I say. "you get some nasty smelly poo and farts after that much alcohol and Mexican. Maybe you should go back and let another one rip just outside the door before he comes out." So she leaves the table and comes back a few seconds later. "Whew! that was worse than my poo. Poor bastard. At least I'm wearing a low-cut tank top and these fairly short shorts, otherwise he'd think I was a totally disgusting gross person." "maybe you should to say you are sorry and let him grab a boob?" I ask. "yeah. i feel kind of bad. i think you are right." She comes back and says.... "I was gunna lift up my low-cut tank top and let him feel my right boob, but when he came out his face was green. So I said 'i'm sorry about my stinky poo.' The guy said 'holy crap lady. that was nasty, but...." I thought I'd continue the story. Who's going to continue it??????/
Posts: 1,358

11-18-2010, 09:53 PM	#15
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-283864	there are times when I walk into a bathroom and I immidately look around to see if there is a dead racoon or something in a vent __________________
Posts: 54,946