Does the "no contact" rule work?

[God of Thunder]

We've all had those breakups! The ones you didn't see coming, or the ones you did and didn't do anything about it! For whatever reason though, your friends, family, and everyone else always seem to say...

"Do NOT contact them, and in time, they'll come running and begging back"

This always seems strange, however, I think it generally holds true. Once you're gone, you start to mean more to that person. Once you know longer think about it, they tend to come flying back.

Do you all find this to be true or not?

[Bugeater]

In a situation like this I recommend having sex with her mother.

[Buck]

Sorry man. I know it sucks to not be with the person you want to be with. It's tough to move on, but its the best thing to do.

[FAX]

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

I once left a girl in LA and returned to the Midwest for some R&R after a surgery deal ... a total no-contact situation. She was knocking on my damn door within two weeks. It was really, really embarrassing since I was in the midst of some extremely hedonistic activities when she showed up out of the blue.

I suggest that moving on is the best thing to do. You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm.

There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer.

FAX

[God of Thunder]

Originally Posted by FAX

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

I once left a girl in LA and returned to the Midwest for some R&R after a surgery deal ... a total no-contact situation. She was knocking on my damn door within two weeks. It was really, really embarrassing since I was in the midst of some extremely hedonistic activities when she showed up out of the blue.

I suggest that moving on is the best thing to do. You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm.

There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer.

FAX

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

[htismaqe]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

[Mr. Flopnuts]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

/thread

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

precisley. Nicely said.

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

This is a kinder way of saying what I would have said.

She's gone....cut her loose.

You were looking for a piece of pussy when you found that one.

I can't think of 1 time after early High School that I ever got back together with someone when there was any kind of "break".

Move on. Life is too short to not be happy.

I've been run over like you're saying....and it ended up being the best thing that gal ever did for me.

[Skyy God]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

Especially since she already had a date lined up when she told you about taking a break.

Don't be a chump.

[Imon Yourside]

Originally Posted by htismaqe

Dude, in all seriousness. That last conversation should be the last time you EVER initiate contact with her.

If she "wants a break" and wants to keep dating this other guy, she's EXPLORING. She doesn't want you but she wants the security she has with you. If she can't find it somewhere else, she's gonna come crawling back. You don't wanna be that guy.

Cut her loose and move on.

I apologize for not taking this thread seriously, but this is the best advice you could take. You might take the low road and give her an earful but it would be better to not have ANY contact at all with her and let it go.

[FAX]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

I won't say it isn't difficult. Something like this affects your personal sense of worth and self-esteem. Humans don't like that feeling ... not one bit. Personal rejection causes shame and it's a tough one to fight because you're really fighting yourself.

However, it's also the most powerful growth experience that a person can have. I could tell you stories from my own life that are similar. If you read, I can recommend some books that helped me through.

Here's the deal though ... I never would have met the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX had I stayed with prior relationships. It's silly to compare humans in this way, but the beautiful and witty Mrs. FAX smokes every other girl I've ever known ... including girls I truly loved ... one in particular that I almost married.

You have to dig deep inside yourself and find a way to shut off the past and realize that the best is yet to come. Date a lot of girls. Focus on self-improvement. Motivate yourself. Find something to replace the brooding. Yes, it's difficult now, but things will get better.

This is going to sound crazy, but think about it; What if this girl were hit by a bus and lost her arms and legs. Would you still feel the same way about her? Be honest.

FAX

[The Franchise]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

That statement right there would have been the end for me. Like htismaqe said.....don't contact her again. I wouldn't even talk to her when you get back from Florida....even if she contacts you.

**** that bitch. Life is to short to be the fall-back guy.

[Predarat]

Originally Posted by God of Thunder

It's hard to move on......especially since I did and DIDN'T see it coming. The signs were there, and I knew it.......I just assumed we were in a rut.

On Friday, she claimed she wanted a "break, not a breakup" so she could clear her head for awhile and determine what she wanted. I told her a break was another word for breakup. Sunday came (sunday night) and I called her and was mad. Told her after 1-1/2 years she should know what she wants. She then claimed she went on a date Friday and liked it, and wanted more time. I said "how could you go on a date when we're together?" and she said "you said it was a breakup!" She then gave me this BS about how she's hasnt' felt our connection for awhile, and thought that she didn't love me like she used to.

She said "how about when you get back from Florida, we consider going on a date to see how things go?".....now keep in mind, i leave for Florida this monday, and return next friday.

I was already against this and said "are you going to keep dating this guy in the meantime?" and she said "yes, I like him......he's not you"

So i'm rather hurt. I'm confused.

Don't be confused, shes gone, tell her to go to hell.

[Dave Lane]

Spoken like a boss. I may have to post this on my facebook wall..

Originally Posted by FAX

Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

You have to look at life as a series of "chapters". Once you've read one chapter, you turn the page in order to discover what happens next. Make a ton of changes in your life. Work out. Feed your head. Tell the past to go screw itself and look forward to the future with anticipation and enthusiasm.

There are a lot of ways to screw up your life and only a few ways to improve it. Hanging onto the past is one of the best ways to make yourself miserable and miss out on the best your precious few days on this Earth have to offer.

FAX