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Old 11-21-2012, 07:10 PM   Topic Starter
OnTheWarpath58 OnTheWarpath58 is offline
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I hate the internet - Thanksgiving Edition

Cooking a 22 pound bird tomorrow for only the second time in my life. (long story) Was putting together my schedule for tomorrow to at least try to time everything correctly and made the mistake of looking at multiple websites to try to determine an approximate cooking time for this beast.

The plan is to roast it unstuffed, in the oven, at 325*. Bird is sitting in a brine as we speak.

I've been to 10 different websites, and they all seem to say something different. I'm seeing times ranging from 3.5 hours all the way up to 6.

Help a brother out - roughly how long is this bird going to take?
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:13 PM   #2
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:49 PM   #3
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Don't eat it too early....you'll get worms.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:16 PM   #4
KcMizzou KcMizzou is offline
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I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.

Doesn't yours have one of those little timer things that pops out when it's ready? That's all I judged by. (other than the instructions on the turkey)
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:03 PM   #5
Bacon Cheeseburger Bacon Cheeseburger is offline
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Originally Posted by KcMizzou View Post
I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.
Oh my...wait until Fire Me Boy! sees this. You should just get the "I'm leaving forever" thread going now.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:12 PM   #6
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the bags are fine. No biggie.
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* Brodie Croyle (!) is the only quarterback drafted by the team to start a game for them since the mid-80's...and he barely beat out Damon Huard in the process. Croyle then promptly lost all six of his starts. He couldn't even beat out Tyler Thigpen once he returned from injury.
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Old 11-21-2012, 11:31 PM   #7
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the bags are fine. No biggie.
If you know what's best for you, you'll grab some food and water and lock yourself into your basement.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:16 PM   #8
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Sorry dude. Vodka has taken over. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to all.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:27 PM   #9
Psyko Tek Psyko Tek is offline
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Sorry dude. Vodka has taken over. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to all.
marinate in vodka
then cook until detroit scores a touchdown
if detroit does not score a touch down,
wait until somebody says ROMO is an elite QB
at which point you turn the turkey over
discard it's tin foil tent,

did I mention the tin foil tent, sorry just thought of it

and cram a can of fosters in to it's nether regions
may not do any good , but male cooking must involve beer

remove when the last announcer finally agrees that dallas has no shot at the play offs again
by that time the skin of the turkey should have reached the texture of jerry jones facelift

take 4 vodka shots from the turkey drippings and declare it done


it's crazy enough it might work
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:29 PM   #10
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
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* The Chiefs have more player-committed murder-suicides than playoff victories in the past two decades.

* During last year's meltdown against the Colts in the post season, it looked like the injuries slider was turned up to 100% and they were carting bodies off the field like they were filming B-roll for "The Strain".

* Brodie Croyle (!) is the only quarterback drafted by the team to start a game for them since the mid-80's...and he barely beat out Damon Huard in the process. Croyle then promptly lost all six of his starts. He couldn't even beat out Tyler Thigpen once he returned from injury.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:18 PM   #11
JASONSAUTO JASONSAUTO is online now
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If you fried it you wouldn't have this problem...


I got nothing either. Sorry. try Angelo?
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:18 PM   #12
Bowser Bowser is offline
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The wife says to aim to four hours, then use a thermo to check until it gets to 165 degrees. Let rest for 15-20 minutes.

She wants to know what kind of brine are you using?
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:22 PM   #13
OnTheWarpath58 OnTheWarpath58 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KcMizzou View Post
I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.

Doesn't yours have one of those little timer things that pops out when it's ready? That's all I judged by. (other than the instructions on the turkey)
Does not have a timer. Not sure I'd trust it anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO View Post
If you fried it you wouldn't have this problem...


I got nothing either. Sorry. try Angelo?
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I'm smoking some breasts, but doing the big bird in the oven, primarily because I like my house, and I'd likely burn it down if I tried to deep fry it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bowser View Post
The wife says to aim to four hours, then use a thermo to check until it gets to 165 degrees. Let rest for 15-20 minutes.

She wants to know what kind of brine are you using?
Thanks.

Using this:

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/produ...-turkey-brine/

Had a bird brined in it last Christmas, it was ****ing phenomenal.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:31 PM   #14
Bowser Bowser is offline
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Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 View Post
Thanks.

Using this:

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/produ...-turkey-brine/

Had a bird brined in it last Christmas, it was ****ing phenomenal.
Looks good. Williams Sonoma is the shit.

Our brine is something she found online from the Food Network. It has in it molasses, honey, soy sauce, garlic, kosher salt, thyme, sage, and red pepper. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

She's also making a batch of jalapeno deviled eggs. I don't know why we just don't play the "Drink the Ipecac" game and see who lasts the longest.
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Old 11-21-2012, 07:38 PM   #15
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She's also making a batch of jalapeno deviled eggs.
that sounds excellent.
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