Food and Drink I hate the internet - Thanksgiving Edition

**OnTheWarpath58** · 11-21-2012, 07:10 PM

Cooking a 22 pound bird tomorrow for only the second time in my life. (long story) Was putting together my schedule for tomorrow to at least try to time everything correctly and made the mistake of looking at multiple websites to try to determine an approximate cooking time for this beast.

The plan is to roast it unstuffed, in the oven, at 325*. Bird is sitting in a brine as we speak.

I've been to 10 different websites, and they all seem to say something different. I'm seeing times ranging from 3.5 hours all the way up to 6.

Help a brother out - roughly how long is this bird going to take?

Dayze · 11-21-2012, 07:13 PM

Don't eat it too early....you'll get worms.

....I got nothin.

**DeezNutz** · 11-21-2012, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dayze

Don't eat it too early....you'll get worms.

cdcox is pissed, but his wife has a retort.

**KcMizzou** · 11-21-2012, 07:16 PM

I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.

Doesn't yours have one of those little timer things that pops out when it's ready? That's all I judged by. (other than the instructions on the turkey)

**Bugeater** · 11-21-2012, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.

Oh my...wait until Fire Me Boy! sees this. You should just get the "I'm leaving forever" thread going now.

Simply Red · 11-21-2012, 11:12 PM

the bags are fine. No biggie.

**Bugeater** · 11-21-2012, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Simply Red

the bags are fine. No biggie.

If you know what's best for you, you'll grab some food and water and lock yourself into your basement.

theelusiveeightrop · 11-21-2012, 07:16 PM

Sorry dude. Vodka has taken over. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

Psyko Tek · 11-21-2012, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by theelusiveeightrop

Sorry dude. Vodka has taken over. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to all.

marinate in vodka
then cook until detroit scores a touchdown
if detroit does not score a touch down,
wait until somebody says ROMO is an elite QB
at which point you turn the turkey over
discard it's tin foil tent,

did I mention the tin foil tent, sorry just thought of it

and cram a can of fosters in to it's nether regions
may not do any good , but male cooking must involve beer

remove when the last announcer finally agrees that dallas has no shot at the play offs again
by that time the skin of the turkey should have reached the texture of jerry jones facelift

take 4 vodka shots from the turkey drippings and declare it done

it's crazy enough it might work

Simply Red · 11-21-2012, 07:29 PM

JASONSAUTO · 11-21-2012, 07:18 PM

If you fried it you wouldn't have this problem...

I got nothing either. Sorry. try Angelo?
Posted via Mobile Device

Bowser · 11-21-2012, 07:18 PM

The wife says to aim to four hours, then use a thermo to check until it gets to 165 degrees. Let rest for 15-20 minutes.

She wants to know what kind of brine are you using?

**OnTheWarpath58** · 11-21-2012, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KcMizzou

I've cooked exactly one. Used one of those oven bags. It turned out fine.

Doesn't yours have one of those little timer things that pops out when it's ready? That's all I judged by. (other than the instructions on the turkey)

Does not have a timer. Not sure I'd trust it anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO

If you fried it you wouldn't have this problem...

I got nothing either. Sorry. try Angelo?
Posted via Mobile Device

I'm smoking some breasts, but doing the big bird in the oven, primarily because I like my house, and I'd likely burn it down if I tried to deep fry it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

The wife says to aim to four hours, then use a thermo to check until it gets to 165 degrees. Let rest for 15-20 minutes.

She wants to know what kind of brine are you using?

Thanks.

Using this:

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/produ...-turkey-brine/

Had a bird brined in it last Christmas, it was ****ing phenomenal.

Bowser · 11-21-2012, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58

Thanks.

Using this:

http://www.williams-sonoma.com/produ...-turkey-brine/

Had a bird brined in it last Christmas, it was ****ing phenomenal.

Looks good. Williams Sonoma is the shit.

Our brine is something she found online from the Food Network. It has in it molasses, honey, soy sauce, garlic, kosher salt, thyme, sage, and red pepper. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

She's also making a batch of jalapeno deviled eggs. I don't know why we just don't play the "Drink the Ipecac" game and see who lasts the longest.

scott free · 11-21-2012, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

She's also making a batch of jalapeno deviled eggs.

that sounds excellent.

11-21-2012, 07:10 PM	Topic Starter
OnTheWarpath58 FACTORY OF SADNESS Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $3883494	I hate the internet - Thanksgiving Edition Cooking a 22 pound bird tomorrow for only the second time in my life. (long story) Was putting together my schedule for tomorrow to at least try to time everything correctly and made the mistake of looking at multiple websites to try to determine an approximate cooking time for this beast. The plan is to roast it unstuffed, in the oven, at 325*. Bird is sitting in a brine as we speak. I've been to 10 different websites, and they all seem to say something different. I'm seeing times ranging from 3.5 hours all the way up to 6. Help a brother out - roughly how long is this bird going to take?
Posts: 45,742

11-21-2012, 07:13 PM	#2
Dayze Poop Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $1178285	Don't eat it too early....you'll get worms. ....I got nothin. __________________ Life is 99% inspiration, 1% Perspiration, and 1% Attention to Detial.
Posts: 15,526

11-21-2012, 11:12 PM	#6
Simply Red Rookie Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $1016303	the bags are fine. No biggie. __________________ DaneMcCloud Join Date: Sep 2000 ** Todd Haley, Scott *, Matt Cassel and Clark Hunt. One Arrowhead Drive needs a nuclear **ing enema.
Posts: 32,579

11-21-2012, 07:16 PM	#8
theelusiveeightrop 2thdoc Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Dante's Ninth Circle Casino cash: $22670	Sorry dude. Vodka has taken over. Good luck and Happy Thanksgiving to all. __________________ "We're both part of the same hypocrisy, senator, but never think it applies to my family."
Posts: 4,559

11-21-2012, 07:29 PM	#10
Simply Red Rookie Join Date: Sep 2005 Casino cash: $1016303	__________________ DaneMcCloud Join Date: Sep 2000 ** Todd Haley, Scott *, Matt Cassel and Clark Hunt. One Arrowhead Drive needs a nuclear **ing enema.
Posts: 32,579

11-21-2012, 07:18 PM	#11
JASONSAUTO Thigpen for HOF Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: mid missouri Casino cash: $1340192	If you fried it you wouldn't have this problem... I got nothing either. Sorry. try Angelo? Posted via Mobile Device
Posts: 21,977

11-21-2012, 07:18 PM	#12
Bowser What's Clark gonna do, Cotton? Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: In Transition Casino cash: $50965071	The wife says to aim to four hours, then use a thermo to check until it gets to 165 degrees. Let rest for 15-20 minutes. She wants to know what kind of brine are you using?
Posts: 45,333

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