"All Idiot Team" Contract And Demands Thread...Place Your Demands Here!!

**Bwana** · 12-20-2000, 06:34 PM

Greetings fellow idiots. Now is the time to step up to the plate and tell me what you want regarding your compensation for being a member of the "All Idiot Team."

Remember now, this is a low budget outfit and from what I can see, at least 20% of it has to go for my suits, teeth cleanings, alligator shoes, our beer budget and the girls/cheerleaders form this all girl dancing club you guys keep taking about.

With this in mind, lets hear it! <BR>

**morphius** · 12-20-2000, 06:38 PM

Well I would like to start off by saying that Bob Doles hamster a day demand is a little extreme, and a bit odd.

[This message has been edited by morphius (edited 12-20-2000).]

**Bwana** · 12-20-2000, 06:45 PM

"Bob Doles hamster a day demand is a little extreme, and a bit odd."

Far be it for me to disagee with that statement. I'll file that under the don't really want to know, won't ask category. As long as the rodents are kept away from my suits and gator shoes, I don't have a problem with it.

WisChief · 12-20-2000, 07:32 PM

Bwana,

"~Stoking the new 10mm with silencing device and cracking knuckles~"

First thing that I demand as the starting SS is a BULLET PROOF VEST!!! Damm, brutha - go ez!!

Now after that, league min. will do, but I must have my guitar store bill paid in advance up to $20,000. My house must be paid for inadvance and I absolutely demand a list of 10 alliaces that cannot be traced. One last thing - All garbage men that work at our facility must be paid handsomely and treated with respect! ;)

--- never forgetting my roots dammit ---

Spott · 12-20-2000, 07:33 PM

The all idiot squad should have their own short bus to take them to practice.

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It looks I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!

Raiderhater · 12-20-2000, 07:36 PM

A new Jeep Wrangler is all I want.

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WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

stevieray · 12-20-2000, 08:35 PM

As A DE, I request that in clutch siuations, preferably 3rd and short, I demand the right to jump off sides.

Logical · 12-20-2000, 08:39 PM

Stevieray,

That would make you a Defensive Tackle not a Defensive End.

Logical · 12-20-2000, 08:40 PM

I believe that last observation qualifies me for Defensive Line coach.

stevieray · 12-20-2000, 08:49 PM

Does this mean I don't get to jump off sides?

There's got to be something I can do...I know, Roughing the Passer :mad:

I like this team, as long as we can choke in the playoffs. Too cold for my momma to show up.

Mosbonian · 12-20-2000, 09:00 PM

Bwana:

For a GM you sure don't have a grasp of how to obtain all those "perks" without hitting the salary cap of the "playa's". Let me help you out here....

1)Make a deal with Brooks Brothers and mention their name at least 5 times (per hour) and all the suits you need are yours..

2)Slip a set of season tickets and an occasional visit from the Cheerleaders to a "respectable" Dentist and i bet you will get cleanings for life....

3)Have the Croc Hunter entertain at Halftime of every home game and you get to keep any Crocodile that he kills for a new pair of shoes....

4)Let us have patches made from all of our favorite beverages and let us affix them to our uniforms & helmets(ala NASCAR) and get them to promise free beer all season. Also sell "Licenses" to sell beer in certain sections.

5)Have your weekly show on location from the Million Dollar Ranch and mention their name frequently during the broadcast as you do with Brooks Brothers. Set up a tip jar so that we can subsidize paying for the at every broadcast.

There are many more and i can go on, but you get the drift....

mark
**********************
Seems I am the Marketing & Finance genius, what am I doing playing Tight End?

[This message has been edited by Mark Kilgore (edited 12-20-2000).]

Raiderhater · 12-20-2000, 09:05 PM

LOL at Mark's post! :D

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liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans

WILDCATS 29
corn balls 28

**Bwana** · 12-20-2000, 10:01 PM

Mark: Now you're talking! Payola all the way. What else could I work up on the house here.

1. Work something out with a local pig farmer and obtain free footballs/BBQ goods. Perhaps we could put a "Earls hog farm" on the uniforms or something of that nature.

2. With "the ranch" perhaps we could work out some kind of trade with serivces and goods as well. I could run with this one. Hmmmmm?

I have already been working on specific spins for the radio and TV programs as well. It shouldn't matter what our record is as long as he correct spin is put on it right? :D<P>

**Bwana** · 12-20-2000, 10:03 PM

Oh by the way, what kind of coin are we going to charge to attend these games? Any ideas here?

**Tribal Warfare** · 12-20-2000, 10:06 PM

I want to be introduced by our finest cheerleaders and then immediately poor water on their uniforms. Afterwards the girls give me their home phone numbers. Ohh I want nachos also! :D

[This message has been edited by ChiefPriority (edited 12-20-2000).]

12-20-2000, 06:38 PM	#2
morphius World's finest morphius Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $5835027	Well I would like to start off by saying that Bob Doles hamster a day demand is a little extreme, and a bit odd. [This message has been edited by morphius (edited 12-20-2000).]
Posts: 26,022

12-20-2000, 06:45 PM	#3
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2136033647	"Bob Doles hamster a day demand is a little extreme, and a bit odd." Far be it for me to disagee with that statement. I'll file that under the don't really want to know, won't ask category. As long as the rodents are kept away from my suits and gator shoes, I don't have a problem with it.
Posts: 70,474

12-20-2000, 07:32 PM	#4
WisChief GO 'NOLES! Join Date: Oct 2000 Casino cash: $10005400	Bwana, "~Stoking the new 10mm with silencing device and cracking knuckles~" First thing that I demand as the starting SS is a BULLET PROOF VEST!!! Damm, brutha - go ez!! Now after that, league min. will do, but I must have my guitar store bill paid in advance up to $20,000. My house must be paid for inadvance and I absolutely demand a list of 10 alliaces that cannot be traced. One last thing - All garbage men that work at our facility must be paid handsomely and treated with respect! ;) --- never forgetting my roots dammit ---
Posts: 918

12-20-2000, 07:33 PM	#5
Spott Court Jester Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Orlando Casino cash: $-617600	The all idiot squad should have their own short bus to take them to practice. ------------------ It looks I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue!
Posts: 20,676

12-20-2000, 07:36 PM	#6
Raiderhater Tried it on and it fit Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $-1397979	A new Jeep Wrangler is all I want. ------------------ WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 29,533

12-20-2000, 06:34 PM
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2136033647	Greetings fellow idiots. Now is the time to step up to the plate and tell me what you want regarding your compensation for being a member of the "All Idiot Team." Remember now, this is a low budget outfit and from what I can see, at least 20% of it has to go for my suits, teeth cleanings, alligator shoes, our beer budget and the girls/cheerleaders form this all girl dancing club you guys keep taking about. With this in mind, lets hear it! <BR>
Posts: 70,474

12-20-2000, 08:35 PM	#7
stevieray Most things I worry about… Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure Casino cash: $-1114727	As A DE, I request that in clutch siuations, preferably 3rd and short, I demand the right to jump off sides.
Posts: 73,992

12-20-2000, 08:39 PM	#8
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	Stevieray, That would make you a Defensive Tackle not a Defensive End.
Posts: 31,579

12-20-2000, 08:40 PM	#9
Logical Screw U if U can't take a joke Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	I believe that last observation qualifies me for Defensive Line coach.
Posts: 31,579

12-20-2000, 08:49 PM	#10
stevieray Most things I worry about… Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Under Pressure Casino cash: $-1114727	Does this mean I don't get to jump off sides? There's got to be something I can do...I know, Roughing the Passer :mad: I like this team, as long as we can choke in the playoffs. Too cold for my momma to show up.
Posts: 73,992

12-20-2000, 09:00 PM	#11
Mosbonian On Hiatus Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-1120300	Bwana: For a GM you sure don't have a grasp of how to obtain all those "perks" without hitting the salary cap of the "playa's". Let me help you out here.... 1)Make a deal with Brooks Brothers and mention their name at least 5 times (per hour) and all the suits you need are yours.. 2)Slip a set of season tickets and an occasional visit from the Cheerleaders to a "respectable" Dentist and i bet you will get cleanings for life.... 3)Have the Croc Hunter entertain at Halftime of every home game and you get to keep any Crocodile that he kills for a new pair of shoes.... 4)Let us have patches made from all of our favorite beverages and let us affix them to our uniforms & helmets(ala NASCAR) and get them to promise free beer all season. Also sell "Licenses" to sell beer in certain sections. 5)Have your weekly show on location from the Million Dollar Ranch and mention their name frequently during the broadcast as you do with Brooks Brothers. Set up a tip jar so that we can subsidize paying for the at every broadcast. There are many more and i can go on, but you get the drift.... mark ********************** Seems I am the Marketing & Finance genius, what am I doing playing Tight End? [This message has been edited by Mark Kilgore (edited 12-20-2000).]
Posts: 12,389

12-20-2000, 09:05 PM	#12
Raiderhater Tried it on and it fit Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: A Webb of chaos Casino cash: $-1397979	LOL at Mark's post! :D ------------------ liberalism is racists, and bigoted - towards all humans WILDCATS 29 corn balls 28
Posts: 29,533

12-20-2000, 10:01 PM	#13
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2136033647	Mark: Now you're talking! Payola all the way. What else could I work up on the house here. 1. Work something out with a local pig farmer and obtain free footballs/BBQ goods. Perhaps we could put a "Earls hog farm" on the uniforms or something of that nature. 2. With "the ranch" perhaps we could work out some kind of trade with serivces and goods as well. I could run with this one. Hmmmmm? I have already been working on specific spins for the radio and TV programs as well. It shouldn't matter what our record is as long as he correct spin is put on it right? :D<P>
Posts: 70,474

12-20-2000, 10:03 PM	#14
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2136033647	Oh by the way, what kind of coin are we going to charge to attend these games? Any ideas here?
Posts: 70,474

12-20-2000, 10:06 PM	#15
Tribal Warfare Man of Culture Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Far Beyond Comprehension Casino cash: $-2787187	I want to be introduced by our finest cheerleaders and then immediately poor water on their uniforms. Afterwards the girls give me their home phone numbers. Ohh I want nachos also! :D [This message has been edited by ChiefPriority (edited 12-20-2000).]
Posts: 43,422