"All Idiot Team" Contract And Demands Thread...Place Your Demands Here!! - Page 3

**Bwana** · 12-20-2000, 06:34 PM

Greetings fellow idiots. Now is the time to step up to the plate and tell me what you want regarding your compensation for being a member of the "All Idiot Team."

Remember now, this is a low budget outfit and from what I can see, at least 20% of it has to go for my suits, teeth cleanings, alligator shoes, our beer budget and the girls/cheerleaders form this all girl dancing club you guys keep taking about.

With this in mind, lets hear it!

12-21-2000, 09:46 AM

Let it be known that I've hired an agent.

That's right, I've requisitioned the services of HighTimes Magazine to represent me, and I've also hired Bam Morris as my personal advisor...

Notice that I already have endorsement from: Philly Blunts, Grafix Inc., and Zig Zag Corporation...I intend to relase my own clothing line, complete with replica jerseys made of hemp...

Here are my contract demands:

1) I wish to be paid $750 a game, either in clean, unmarked bills, or in the equivalent amount of marijuana.

2) NO DRUG TESTS!

3) I wish to have a hottub in the locker room, and only myself, and the cheerleaders, can use it.

4) NO DRUG TESTS!

5) I will not, under any circumstances, take the field unless I have been given the requisite amounts of painkillers, intraveneously.

6) I would like a personal tent, in the vending area, for Bam to sell my Parker-brand "wares".

Thank you...

------------------
Parker
[b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator

**Baby Lee** · 12-21-2000, 09:52 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR> i want to "soak it in-cider" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Would that be the world famous 'Dicken's Cider?'

Mark M · 12-21-2000, 09:55 AM

htis--
ROTFLMAO!!!! I think I wet myself :cool:

As starting QB, I believe that, instead of a $10 million roster bonus, that I receive a portion of everyone else's demads.

Especially Iowa's, htismaque and Chief Priority.

Afterall, I'm the most vital cog in the machine, aren't I? (If Packfan says it's true, then it must be!)

MM
~~Believes in the principle of sharing.

------------------
[i]One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.[/i]
--George W. Bush

[This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-21-2000).]

HC_Chief · 12-21-2000, 09:56 AM

$25mil per/year, my own office, a personal press secretary, limo service, and sole rights to merchandising bearing my likeness/number/etc.

Oh wait, that's A-Rod's deal... mmm, ok... I'll play for free hotdogs and pickle juice! [img]http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img]

**Baby Lee** · 12-21-2000, 09:57 AM

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>MM
~~Believes in the principle of sharing.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Are ya gonna share those hand warmers?

12-21-2000, 10:05 AM

Jc,

I was really hoping to retain the sposorship of the world famous "Dickin's Cider"....I didn't know if anyone would be competing for their sponsorship...

I thought some of you "old timers' might try viagra, metamusil, icy hot and packfan can be sponsored by depends...He is full of it, and if i get a good shot...I'll knock it out of him [img]http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img]

Lightning Rod · 12-21-2000, 10:06 AM

As PR-man I demand to personally (privately) interview all the cheerleaders. The masseuse too (got ya Shannon) . I will also require a goodly amount of firewater and snake oil. This will be essential in building the image of our team. A doggie-van like the one in “Dumb and Dumber” may also be required to wine and dine clients.

**Baby Lee** · 12-21-2000, 10:10 AM

How do you prefer it

Dicken's Cider Can - or
Dicken's Cider juicy-box

12-21-2000, 10:12 AM

JC,

Definitely, without a doubt..It will be Juicy Box...I'll request it by the "case" for the clubhouse.

DiscoJones · 12-21-2000, 10:23 AM

I'll need a lawn chair for field use. As LCB, I'll be playing a lot of soft zones and I don't want to get worn out standing there waiting for the receiver to run by. Oh, since I'll have the chair, I'd also like a full cooler handy and my helmet modified with those beer-holder-straw deals. For bump-n-run, a baseball bat will do nicely thank you. I'm with JC-Johnny, bring back the 8-track too, will ya?

I know I've got some more around here somewhere....

**Baby Lee** · 12-21-2000, 10:34 AM

Well if you get the Dicken's Cider account. I demand the Pinckley Motors [specifically the Pinckley Taurus] account.

12-21-2000, 10:36 AM

Disco,

If you're LCB that must mean I'm the RCB?

If he's going to play soft zone in a lawn chair, I would like to play "rover". I'll cover both sides of the field, the cheerleaders, and whoever else needs my special brand of "bump-and-grind...err, run" defense...

I REFUSE to be responsible for giving up big plays because I'm staring at the blinking lights on the JumboTron...

------------------
Parker
[b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator

DiscoJones · 12-21-2000, 10:50 AM

htis - Affirmative. I just double-checked the roster. On the player grouping thread you will see my plan for our "Twilight Zone" D. I think you and I will be callin' that one A LOT! (To refresh your memory, that's the D we call where one safety short-middle, one safety long-middle, blitz all LBs and DL while CBs pick up on the "cheerleaders". I'm still workin' on that "Cover-2 Women" scheme.) I read your contract requests and I get the feeling that our secondary's gonna be "Da Bomb".

[This message has been edited by DiscoJones (edited 12-21-2000).]

12-21-2000, 10:57 AM

Hell yeah...

And while they're at it, they should just make the pile-ons out of 4-foot bongs, that way we can just run our CB prevent and puff puff for a bit...

------------------
Parker
[b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator

12-21-2000, 11:03 AM

well,

If you fellas are going to be the human smoke stack, I want kegs put at all first down marker...

you'll be on the "paoti buzz" will your slogan be "we're in the spitit world @$$hole, they can't see us"....I'll be expecting alot of interceptions.

12-20-2000, 06:34 PM
Bwana It's Five O'Clock Somewhere Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Billings, Montana Casino cash: $2136013647	Greetings fellow idiots. Now is the time to step up to the plate and tell me what you want regarding your compensation for being a member of the "All Idiot Team." Remember now, this is a low budget outfit and from what I can see, at least 20% of it has to go for my suits, teeth cleanings, alligator shoes, our beer budget and the girls/cheerleaders form this all girl dancing club you guys keep taking about. With this in mind, lets hear it! <BR>
Posts: 70,474

12-21-2000, 09:46 AM	#31
htismaqe Guest Casino cash: $	Let it be known that I've hired an agent. That's right, I've requisitioned the services of HighTimes Magazine to represent me, and I've also hired Bam Morris as my personal advisor... Notice that I already have endorsement from: Philly Blunts, Grafix Inc., and Zig Zag Corporation...I intend to relase my own clothing line, complete with replica jerseys made of hemp... Here are my contract demands: 1) I wish to be paid $750 a game, either in clean, unmarked bills, or in the equivalent amount of marijuana. 2) NO DRUG TESTS! 3) I wish to have a hottub in the locker room, and only myself, and the cheerleaders, can use it. 4) NO DRUG TESTS! 5) I will not, under any circumstances, take the field unless I have been given the requisite amounts of painkillers, intraveneously. 6) I would like a personal tent, in the vending area, for Bam to sell my Parker-brand "wares". Thank you... ------------------ Parker [b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator</B>
Posts: n/a

12-21-2000, 09:52 AM	#32
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR> i want to "soak it in-cider" <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Would that be the world famous 'Dicken's Cider?'
Posts: 95,642

12-21-2000, 09:55 AM	#33
Mark M What time is it? Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: You tell me ... Casino cash: $9884900	htis-- ROTFLMAO!!!! I think I wet myself :cool: As starting QB, I believe that, instead of a $10 million roster bonus, that I receive a portion of everyone else's demads. Especially Iowa's, htismaque and Chief Priority. Afterall, I'm the most vital cog in the machine, aren't I? (If Packfan says it's true, then it must be!) MM ~~Believes in the principle of sharing. ------------------ [i]One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures.[/i] --George W. Bush [This message has been edited by Mark M (edited 12-21-2000).]
Posts: 4,687

12-21-2000, 09:56 AM	#34
HC_Chief That's just f***in' stupid Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: suburbia Casino cash: $3687107	$25mil per/year, my own office, a personal press secretary, limo service, and sole rights to merchandising bearing my likeness/number/etc. Oh wait, that's A-Rod's deal... mmm, ok... I'll play for free hotdogs and pickle juice! [img]http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/biggrin.gif[/img]
Posts: 12,355

12-21-2000, 09:57 AM	#35
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Helvetica, verdana, ariel">quote:</font><HR>MM ~~Believes in the principle of sharing.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Are ya gonna share those hand warmers?
Posts: 95,642

12-21-2000, 10:05 AM	#36
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	Jc, I was really hoping to retain the sposorship of the world famous "Dickin's Cider"....I didn't know if anyone would be competing for their sponsorship... I thought some of you "old timers' might try viagra, metamusil, icy hot and packfan can be sponsored by depends...He is full of it, and if i get a good shot...I'll knock it out of him [img]http://www.chiefsplanet.com/ubb/smile.gif[/img]
Posts: n/a

12-21-2000, 10:06 AM	#37
Lightning Rod Need a new title Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Prairie Village Casino cash: $10004900	As PR-man I demand to personally (privately) interview all the cheerleaders. The masseuse too (got ya Shannon) . I will also require a goodly amount of firewater and snake oil. This will be essential in building the image of our team. A doggie-van like the one in “Dumb and Dumber” may also be required to wine and dine clients.
Posts: 1,151

12-21-2000, 10:10 AM	#38
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	How do you prefer it Dicken's Cider Can - or Dicken's Cider juicy-box
Posts: 95,642

12-21-2000, 10:12 AM	#39
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	JC, Definitely, without a doubt..It will be Juicy Box...I'll request it by the "case" for the clubhouse.
Posts: n/a

12-21-2000, 10:23 AM	#40
DiscoJones The kick is up, it's GOOD Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	I'll need a lawn chair for field use. As LCB, I'll be playing a lot of soft zones and I don't want to get worn out standing there waiting for the receiver to run by. Oh, since I'll have the chair, I'd also like a full cooler handy and my helmet modified with those beer-holder-straw deals. For bump-n-run, a baseball bat will do nicely thank you. I'm with JC-Johnny, bring back the 8-track too, will ya? I know I've got some more around here somewhere....
Posts: 246

12-21-2000, 10:34 AM	#41
Baby Lee Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $8028275	Well if you get the Dicken's Cider account. I demand the Pinckley Motors [specifically the Pinckley Taurus] account.
Posts: 95,642

12-21-2000, 10:36 AM	#42
htismaqe Guest Casino cash: $	Disco, If you're LCB that must mean I'm the RCB? If he's going to play soft zone in a lawn chair, I would like to play "rover". I'll cover both sides of the field, the cheerleaders, and whoever else needs my special brand of "bump-and-grind...err, run" defense... I REFUSE to be responsible for giving up big plays because I'm staring at the blinking lights on the JumboTron... ------------------ Parker [b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator</B>
Posts: n/a

12-21-2000, 10:50 AM	#43
DiscoJones The kick is up, it's GOOD Join Date: Sep 2000 Casino cash: $10004900	htis - Affirmative. I just double-checked the roster. On the player grouping thread you will see my plan for our "Twilight Zone" D. I think you and I will be callin' that one A LOT! (To refresh your memory, that's the D we call where one safety short-middle, one safety long-middle, blitz all LBs and DL while CBs pick up on the "cheerleaders". I'm still workin' on that "Cover-2 Women" scheme.) I read your contract requests and I get the feeling that our secondary's gonna be "Da Bomb". [This message has been edited by DiscoJones (edited 12-21-2000).]
Posts: 246

12-21-2000, 10:57 AM	#44
htismaqe Guest Casino cash: $	Hell yeah... And while they're at it, they should just make the pile-ons out of 4-foot bongs, that way we can just run our CB prevent and puff puff for a bit... ------------------ Parker [b]ChiefsPlanet Administrator</B>
Posts: n/a

12-21-2000, 11:03 AM	#45
Iowanian Guest Casino cash: $	well, If you fellas are going to be the human smoke stack, I want kegs put at all first down marker... you'll be on the "paoti buzz" will your slogan be "we're in the spitit world @$$hole, they can't see us"....I'll be expecting alot of interceptions.
Posts: n/a