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Old 02-13-2005, 08:23 PM  
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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Beware of Angry Asian Girlfriends
Well, I just woke up from three days of partying that started Thursday night and culminated with last night's fiasco. My head hurts and my body aches for reasons other than the abuse of alcohol.

Some of you may recall my short-lived post regarding a date with a hot Asian chick I met a couple of weeks ago. Well, she's been nothing short of a spectacular, and quite honestly, some of the best damn sex I've ever had.

Well, last week, I get a call from an old girlfriend in KC. Turns out she's now divorced and some of her guy pals are coming for the weekend to do some skiing up in Vail. She wanted to know if I would like to hook up with her as she just wanted to hang in Denver and let the guys go skiing. I said, "Sure, we'll definately have to get together."

Anyways, so I tell my Ninja bed-buddy I'll be out of town this weekend and for her to make other plans. She was cool with that. My ex-girlfriend and I go out last night and we hooked up for some late afternoon drinking and catching-up. With the night still young, I suggest we go back to my place for some wine and some TV. She accepts my invitation, and so we go back to my place.

When I walk into my house- there's my Ninja boyfriend beater on the couch. She gets up and starts screaming at me in her poor English. It was like an intolerably bad Japenese film. I was shocked 'cause she doesn't have the keys to my house, and I didn't know if she had broken in or what. Needless to say, she's pissed. During her act of screaming at me, I try to calm her down and tell her that the female on my right arm happens to be an old friend from out of town. Well, my Ninja baby didn't by that and before I could say, "OH, s..." I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Within say, .08 seconds, my Ninja lover sent a furry of arms and legs at me. She killed CosmicPal. I was in some great deal of pain- writhing on my own living room floor watching the feet of the best sex stomp out my front door.

Of course, none of this went over well with my ex-girlfriend. So, she called a cab while I polished off a bottle of wine myself with an ice pack to my groin. I'm awake now. I screwed up again.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:34 AM   #46
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I would see about fixing how she got in the house so she won't sneak back in and have your nuts cut off or something.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:35 AM   #47
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bwana
Dude

BTW: Did you ever figure out "HOW" she got in your house?


Ancient chinese secrete.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:39 AM   #48
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kclee
Ancient chinese secrete.
Aww, yes grasshopper! Master say, "It is not wise to have martial arts girlfriend who go crazy, kick boyfriend in nad sack and not have deadbolt on door."
Attached Images
File Type: bmp Kungfu.bmp (90.5 KB, 220 views)
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Last edited by Bwana; 02-14-2005 at 08:44 AM..
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:50 AM   #49
CosmicPal CosmicPal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bwana
Dude

BTW: Did you ever figure out "HOW" she got in your house?
Yes, I described that in post #8
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CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.CosmicPal would the whole thing.
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:51 AM   #50
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CosmicPal
Well, I just woke up from three days of partying that started Thursday night and culminated with last night's fiasco. My head hurts and my body aches for reasons other than the abuse of alcohol.

Some of you may recall my short-lived post regarding a date with a hot Asian chick I met a couple of weeks ago. Well, she's been nothing short of a spectacular, and quite honestly, some of the best damn sex I've ever had.

Well, last week, I get a call from an old girlfriend in KC. Turns out she's now divorced and some of her guy pals are coming for the weekend to do some skiing up in Vail. She wanted to know if I would like to hook up with her as she just wanted to hang in Denver and let the guys go skiing. I said, "Sure, we'll definately have to get together."

Anyways, so I tell my Ninja bed-buddy I'll be out of town this weekend and for her to make other plans. She was cool with that. My ex-girlfriend and I go out last night and we hooked up for some late afternoon drinking and catching-up. With the night still young, I suggest we go back to my place for some wine and some TV. She accepts my invitation, and so we go back to my place.

When I walk into my house- there's my Ninja boyfriend beater on the couch. She gets up and starts screaming at me in her poor English. It was like an intolerably bad Japenese film. I was shocked 'cause she doesn't have the keys to my house, and I didn't know if she had broken in or what. Needless to say, she's pissed. During her act of screaming at me, I try to calm her down and tell her that the female on my right arm happens to be an old friend from out of town. Well, my Ninja baby didn't by that and before I could say, "OH, s..." I hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Within say, .08 seconds, my Ninja lover sent a furry of arms and legs at me. She killed CosmicPal. I was in some great deal of pain- writhing on my own living room floor watching the feet of the best sex stomp out my front door.

Of course, none of this went over well with my ex-girlfriend. So, she called a cab while I polished off a bottle of wine myself with an ice pack to my groin. I'm awake now. I screwed up again.



Quote:
Ancient chinese secrete.
Always consult other 1/3 when wanting to have a threesome !
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Old 02-14-2005, 08:57 AM   #51
Iowanian Iowanian is offline
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If you'd played this a little more "fonzie" and a little less "Squiggy".......you might have turned this into a chic sammich.
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:50 AM   #52
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ptlyon
If there were a song written for this, I'm sure it would go something like this...


Dang - it won't attach.

I don't know that song. Does it mean that she pulled his testicle off?
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:53 AM   #53
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rain Man
I don't know that song. Does it mean that she pulled his testicle off?


i don't usually get up this early, but it seems like you are even funnier in the morning...
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Old 02-14-2005, 09:57 AM   #54
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Originally Posted by Bwana
Aww, yes grasshopper! Master say, "It is not wise to have martial arts girlfriend who go crazy, kick boyfriend in nad sack and not have deadbolt on door."
Why does everyone attach images? It's much less time consuming to post them through IMG tags.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:02 AM   #55
Bwana Bwana is offline
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Originally Posted by gochiefs
Why does everyone attach images? It's much less time consuming to post them through IMG tags.
WTF? Who the hell are you, the BB image nazi?
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:03 AM   #56
go bo go bo is offline
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Originally Posted by gochiefs
Why does everyone attach images? It's much less time consuming to post them through IMG tags.
you're the nerd, you're supposed to keep us old farts up to speed regarding the mechanics and techniques that make navigating chief planet more conducive to conversation...

or something like that...
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:05 AM   #57
Hammock Parties Hammock Parties is online now
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Originally Posted by Bwana
WTF? Who the hell are you, the BB image nazi?


Tedious Explanation: When I want to post an image of say, Tony Gonzalez, I go to google image search, type in Tony Gonzalez, get the link, and then throw it in IMG tags. I don't understand why someone would take the time to attach it to their post, unless you already have a pic stash of Kung Fu on your hard drive.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:13 AM   #58
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Cosmic,

That sucks... perhaps you can file a battered spouse complaint and get some revenge?

This reminds me of my roommate's girlfriend, the epitomy of the crazy Hispanic girlfriend.
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:29 AM   #59
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Originally Posted by Rain Man
I don't know that song. Does it mean that she pulled his testicle off?
A lot of groin kicking and bashing. It's called "wife meets girlfriend".

I can't find it out on the web like gochiefs says he can, maybe he would oblidge
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Old 02-14-2005, 10:48 AM   #60
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Originally Posted by CosmicPal
I can handle myself pretty well, thank you. When you're drunk and you have a gal standing next to you and you're not expecting someone to hit you- well, you're just not prepared for what will happen next.

I've had plenty of past girlfriends yell at me, but I've never had anyone hit me before- particularly a drop kick to the freakin groin.
I'm sure you can, but when a girl kicks your ass I'm required to question your manhood. It's in the by-laws.
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