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View Poll Results: Does natural child birth activate a baby?
Of course. You should meet ________, it's proof. 5 21.74%
No way. Besides, if it did the chemicals would eventually wear out anyway. 12 52.17%
I'm not sure but I'd guess Gaz wan't activated. 6 26.09%
Voters: 23. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-13-2005, 01:23 AM  
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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I have a theory about C-section kids...
Ok, most of the people I've known in life who were born C-section have some stability issues. So here's my theory, let me know what you think:

Squeezing the baby's head during natural birth "activates" them, kind of like squeezing a chemical ice pack. When kids are born C-section they are denied activation and therefore have problems throughout life.

Any medical personell that can help support or reject this theory?


[edit] Ok, some of you were taking this WAAAAY to seriously (you know who you are). It was a joke. Have we really reached the point where when something this absurd is posted we actually believe it? I mean, come on, who am I, badgranny or chiefs8me? [/edit]
Last edited by Simplex3; 04-13-2005 at 09:38 AM..
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:23 AM   #2
Taco John Taco John is offline
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Who are you using for your control group?
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:24 AM   #3
Simplex3 Simplex3 is offline
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Originally Posted by Taco John
Who are you using for your control group?
People who where hatched. You can find several on this board.
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Old 04-13-2005, 01:44 AM   #4
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interesting...
so when do babies receive their soul/spirit?
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Old 04-13-2005, 03:56 AM   #5
Rausch Rausch is offline
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I'm going to forward this to my girlfriend.

You should probably move the family downstairs and take as much food and water as you can...
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Old 04-13-2005, 05:08 AM   #6
mcan mcan is offline
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I was an emergency C-Section. I think I do have some stability issues. I have "intimacy" issues and tend to not think that any girl is good enough. I'm great with people, but TERRIBLE with relationships. My brain just goes on overload when I'm finally around any girl that I ACTUALLY like, and I act like a tool.

When my brother was born (since I had so many birth complications) they didn't even try natural birth. Now that he's in his twenties, he has real emotional problems. He has MAJOR issues with self-control, and acts on instinct often in terribly inappropriate ways. He came out of the closet when he first entered high school (to the family but not to his friends). Naturally, my parents didn't want to hear that and put him in counseling. So, he kept on trying to be straight for 4 years. He had one girlfriend that whole time. After four years, they were a typical couple. They had regular sex, spent TONS of time togther, knew the families, and my bro was even shopping for rings. But, one summer he decided to tell her... "I'm gay, we have to break up." She was devestated and broken. They were really in love too. He was just more attracted to men than her. Very strange (but I guess pretty common) story.


I would think that being a C-section has nothing to do with these kinds of issues, and I would expect that every family has their problems of this sort. If there is blame to be given I would expect that it has more to do with the fact that there has not been a SINGLE healthy man-woman relationship in our family or extended family for us to look up to growing up. My parents were both alcoholics and threw things at each other. My grandfather on my Mom's side died when we were very young, but I hear that he was abusive and alcoholic. My grandfather on my Dad's side I guess was an extreme drunk and (may or may not) have done some things to my aunt when she was a little girl. Of course there was a divorce there, and my grandmother's new husband is a great guy but she yells at him constantly and they sleep in seperate rooms. We also lived in a rather poor neighborhood where there were a lot of single parents and other alcoholic parents. The kids in my neighborhood were for the most part neglected.

Anyway I have some emotional issues, but overall I think I'm a pretty awesome guy and have turned into a pretty normal and functioning member of society despite a very tough childhood. Of course, I swore off alcohol when I was in grade school, and kept that promise to myself. I'm 25 now and I've never had a drink of anything because I hate the stuff and blame it for all my parents' problems, and pretty much most of the problems of the world.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:32 AM   #7
Chan93lx50 Chan93lx50 is offline
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Then put your head in a vise squeeze the piss out of it!

You will be activated, hell I wasnt born C-section and I am gonna do it!

Wonder if the same theory applies to hookers? Their birth canals have to be pretty damn loose. There is probably not much squeezing going on there.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:36 AM   #8
the Talking Can the Talking Can is offline
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Squeezing the baby's head during natural birth "activates" them, kind of like squeezing a chemical ice pack.


yeah....do they come with those pop up thermometers too, to let you know when they're done?
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:41 AM   #9
Skip Towne Skip Towne is offline
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I'm going to defer to badgranny on this one. She usually has the answer.
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Old 04-13-2005, 06:53 AM   #10
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Wow, we just had our kid via C-Section. I better email my wife and tell her to start squeezing his head quick before he gets screwed up! What sort of tools do you recommend? Vice? Vacuum pump? Channel locks?
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:15 AM   #11
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Quote:
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I'm going to defer to badgranny on this one. She usually has the answer.
Sorry Skip, she's resting right now. After she read this thread I had to explain to her that it's not only children who need 'activation'. And I was starting to have stability issues and could 'go off' at any second if I wasn't activated soon. Upon hearing this her round heels were activated immediately and she spent the rest of the night on active duty.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:18 AM   #12
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My rule of thumb is that when you pull a bizarre theory out of your ass, it is usually wrong. Are there any philosophers out there who can who can help support or reject this rule of thumb?



Seriously, on what do you base this theory of yours, Simplex3?
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:18 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simplex3
Ok, most of the people I've known in life who were born C-section have some stability issues. So here's my theory, let me know what you think:

Squeezing the baby's head during natural birth "activates" them, kind of like squeezing a chemical ice pack. When kids are born C-section they are denied activation and therefore have problems throughout life.

Any medical personell that can help support or reject this theory?

Wow, .. just.... wow.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:21 AM   #14
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yeah....do they come with those pop up thermometers too, to let you know when they're done?
That’s momma’s belly button. When it pops out, baby’s ready.
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Old 04-13-2005, 07:22 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by patteeu
My rule of thumb is that when you pull a bizarre theory out of your ass, it is usually wrong. Are there any philosophers out there who can who can help support or reject this rule of thumb?



Seriously, on what do you base this theory of yours, Simplex3?
Hey....the thing is, it's completely "fixable." At some point all they need to do, is find some pregnant woman willing to "squeeze" their heads between their thighs.

Problem fixed.
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