Marriage, divorce, etc... - Page 3

Jenson71 · 10-17-2005, 08:24 PM

Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that.

So here's a poll.

**Rain Man** · 10-17-2005, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCWolfman

You should have found a girl like dear old mom.

I dunno. Mom was jailbait.

Amnorix · 10-17-2005, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DTLB58

Marriage counselors tell us, if you have not agreed on 4 major areas prior to marriage and how they are to work in every area you are not in agreement on, increases your chance for divorce. Religion, In-Laws, kids (whether to have them and how to raise them) and MONEY!

52% of marriages today end in divorce. The #1 reason for divorce today is money fights and money problems.

I have been married 16 years, here's my thoughts.

We have always agreed on the religion issue, so no problem there.

In-Laws have been an issue from time to time but never something that would ruin our marriage. Just remember, NEVER talk about in-laws in the bedroom.

Two great kids here, but yea there are several areas regarding kids that could create big arguments.

Money, Up until a year ago we were normal americans. Lots of debt and lots of fights about money. There were several times when I thought it could end because of MONEY! Thankfully, with in the last year we have finally turned it around as we are both on the same page now regarding money we have paid off almost all of our debt and things couldn't be better. But I will NEVER forget the stress debt and bills can put on a marriage. Don't underestimate this when considering your partner.

Good Luck!

I'd definitely agree with all this, both in terms of my own marriage and what we hear from our friends and relatives. Being in our mid-30s, we know alot of people who have been married anywhere from about 2-15 years that we hang out with socially, and everybody does sorta seem to have the same issues.

My wife and I are very lucky -- we agree on many things relating to money and child rearing, etc., so we get along really well. Some of our friends, unfortunately, aren't so lucky.

Heck, we know people pulling down 6 figures (combined salary, and remember to adjust for Boston standard of living) who have serious marital problems because their spending habits are fundamentally incompatible. She always wants some new-fangled purse or whatever, and he's a "saver". Or "he always wants the latest video game / new car / electronic doo-dad, and she wants to save for a house". Over and over and over again do we hear about it...

And kids are amazingly stressful on a marriage. Whenever I hear stories or (more usually) see a movie or read a book or whatever about a couple that decides to have kids in order to "bring them closer together' or save a marriage, I shake my head in utter amazement. If a marriage isn't strong to begin with, bet your ass that having a kid will seal the deal and finish it for certain. In many ways, they're stress-inducing monsters.

SLAG · 10-17-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amnorix

......bet your ass that having a kid will seal the deal and finish it for certain. In many ways, they're stress-inducing monsters.

AMEN BROTHER!

KCWolfman · 10-17-2005, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I dunno. Mom was jailbait.

But if you miss the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, bad things will happen. I bet you don't even remember your older brother anymore.

**Rain Man** · 10-17-2005, 10:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCWolfman

But if you miss the Enchantment Under the Sea dance, bad things will happen. I bet you don't even remember your older brother anymore.

If I get a chance to do a guitar solo, I think I'll go with something by Sid Vicious.

Frazod · 10-17-2005, 10:04 PM

DO NOT MARRY YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. PERIOD.

I should go from high school to high school telling kids not to do this.

**Iowanian** · 10-17-2005, 10:07 PM

Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...=110519&page=1

KC Jones · 10-17-2005, 10:40 PM

Been married 9 years now and can't imagine it going south. We married at 25 which is a bit early in my honest opinion but I think we were lucky in that it turns out we agree on most everything - religion, extended family, child rearing, etc. Our marriage started it out with some heavy credit card debt and student loans but were in the black now on everything but the house.

Coach · 10-17-2005, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...=110519&page=1

That was a classic thread.

Frazod · 10-17-2005, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian

Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years.

Sure he will. It'll be the name he writes on those child support checks.

Valiant · 10-18-2005, 12:55 AM

Aren't you on gochiefs level of dating???

You are still in highschool, right??? true/false
Do not have a real job?? T/F
Have dated less then three people seriously??? T/F
Still live at home??? T/F

If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check..

You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...

keg in kc · 10-18-2005, 01:03 AM

I'm not in high school, but I don't have a "real job" and I've dated less than three people seriously.

Odd, that.

**luv** · 10-18-2005, 01:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Valiant

Aren't you on gochiefs level of dating???

You are still in highschool, right??? true/false
Do not have a real job?? T/F
Have dated less then three people seriously??? T/F
Still live at home??? T/F

If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check..

You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...

I have dated less than three people seriously. However, I am ten years out of high school, I have a real job that pays for real bills, and I live on my own. I don't think it's fair to say I have attachment issues based upon one criteria.

Miles · 10-18-2005, 01:06 AM

Couldnt imagine getting married before college. Would completly kill normal college life and quite a lot can change while your there.

Most of my married friends are doing alright after dating for a few years in college and cant think of one that got married before 22.

keg in kc · 10-18-2005, 01:09 AM

I dated my ex-wife for 5 years in college and grad school. Our marriage lasted 2. Although it was a matter of days (literally) before she was unfaithful, so it never really got off the ground.

I think under my own criteria, I probably shouldn't even think about marriage again until I'm at least 35. I don't think I'm mature enough now, at almost 32.

View Poll Results: Which one?
I've been married once, still to the same person.	55	44.35%
I'm divorced and single.	17	13.71%
I'm divorced and have remarried.	22	17.74%
I have never married.	24	19.35%
I'm a different option (please explain)	6	4.84%
Voters: 124. You may not vote on this poll

10-17-2005, 08:24 PM
Jenson71 fides quaerens intellectum Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: United States Casino cash: $8330900	Marriage, divorce, etc... Hi. I've fallen in love in the past few months. And I've been thinking about marriage. I also read beer me's thread about his ex-wife and I got to thinking about that. So here's a poll.
Posts: 15,986

10-17-2005, 10:04 PM	#36
Frazod Did you hear what I said? Join Date: Aug 2000 Casino cash: $-636615	DO NOT MARRY YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART. PERIOD. I should go from high school to high school telling kids not to do this.
Posts: 121,723

10-17-2005, 10:07 PM	#37
Iowanian Supporter Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Utopia Casino cash: $1758454	Well III........Its almost like we've discussed this before....You're t hinking with your pecker, and you more than likely won't be able to remember her last name in 10 years. http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...=110519&page=1
Posts: 62,936

10-17-2005, 10:40 PM	#38
KC Jones Genious Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Colorado Casino cash: $10012761	Been married 9 years now and can't imagine it going south. We married at 25 which is a bit early in my honest opinion but I think we were lucky in that it turns out we agree on most everything - religion, extended family, child rearing, etc. Our marriage started it out with some heavy credit card debt and student loans but were in the black now on everything but the house.
Posts: 5,366

10-18-2005, 12:55 AM	#41
Valiant Valiant 'The Thread Killer' Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Kansas City Casino cash: $4562380	Aren't you on gochiefs level of dating??? You are still in highschool, right??? true/false Do not have a real job?? T/F Have dated less then three people seriously??? T/F Still live at home??? T/F If you have answered true on any of these, you need to sit down and get a reality check.. You seriously have some emotional attachment problems if this is happening this early on...
Posts: 18,552

10-18-2005, 01:03 AM	#42
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I'm not in high school, but I don't have a "real job" and I've dated less than three people seriously. Odd, that.
Posts: 58,682

10-18-2005, 01:06 AM	#44
Miles MVP Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Dallas, TX Casino cash: $-1557600	Couldnt imagine getting married before college. Would completly kill normal college life and quite a lot can change while your there. Most of my married friends are doing alright after dating for a few years in college and cant think of one that got married before 22.
Posts: 14,540

10-18-2005, 01:09 AM	#45
keg in kc oxymoron Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: OP/KC/Whatever Casino cash: $9556299	I dated my ex-wife for 5 years in college and grad school. Our marriage lasted 2. Although it was a matter of days (literally) before she was unfaithful, so it never really got off the ground. I think under my own criteria, I probably shouldn't even think about marriage again until I'm at least 35. I don't think I'm mature enough now, at almost 32.
Posts: 58,682