Highly informative notes from training camps around the league.

Chest Rockwell · 08-17-2007, 12:14 PM

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...t&lid=tab5pos1

Some cheese, but otherwise pretty funny. Except the Donkeys notes...all that stuff seems factual and accurate:

AFC West
Denver Broncos: Coaches say new Broncos running back Travis Henry has all the tools necessary to thrive in Denver's system. He has legs. And also arms, a torso and a head. The only thing Henry needs to work on are ethical issues over his blockers taking out the knees of his would-be tacklers … Head coach Mike Shanahan has completed his preseason regimen of chemical injections to get his skin to a glowing Broncos Orange … According to numerous media reports, Jay Cutler is the greatest quarterback of all-time.

Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs were featured on HBO's "Hard Knocks" series this preseason, which provided viewers with a behind-the-scenes look at how Kansas City will go about underutilizing Tony Gonzalez this year … If Brodie Croyle or Damon Huard doesn't work out at quarterback, the Chiefs are said to be interested in signing Joe Montana … Larry Johnson's new contract pays him a $25,000 bonus every time he feels disrespected and is expected to earn him $75 billion over the life of the deal.

Oakland Raiders: Owner Al Davis is said to be so excited about this season that he purchased a new gold chain for his lady glasses … Doctors have diagnosed new head coach Lane Kiffin's mystery ailment as a very severe case of regret … New quarterback Daunte Culpepper was disappointed to arrive in Oakland only to discover Randy Moss had already left.

San Diego Chargers: Shawne Merriman put an end to his "Lights Out" dance because he felt that sort of display was only fitting under a flashy coach like Marty Schottenheimer … New head coach Norv Turner says conservative play calling will not work in the playoffs if the Chargers somehow make the playoffs with Norv Turner as their head coach.

**Bowser** · 08-17-2007, 12:20 PM

Heh. Good stuff.

Where the hell have you been? And why isn't your boy Jim Bob Cooter on the team (besides the whole getting arrested thing)?

Chest Rockwell · 08-17-2007, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

Where the hell have you been?

I've been around from time to time. Hit a bit of a rough spell, but hopefully I'll be a bit more active now.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

And why isn't your boy Jim Bob Cooter on the team (besides the whole getting arrested thing)?

Because Allen fills the DUI redneck quota, I guess. Although I do think "Hard Knocks" would be more interesting if they had picked him up. "Boomer and the Drunks" would be good TV.

Dammit Carl!

Suppose it's time for a new sig anyhow.

Arrowhead Pride · 08-17-2007, 01:29 PM

I saw Jim Bob Cooter a few years ago at a party at UT. He had a shirt on that said "Jim Bob Cooter Football Camp". He basically stood in the corner trying to look tough while we all wondered why the hell he was there.

Stereotypical douchebag who thought he was much more important than he really was.

08-17-2007, 12:14 PM
Chest Rockwell Y'all are brutalizin' me! Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Jim Bob Cooter 4 Heisman Casino cash: $10000985	Highly informative notes from training camps around the league. http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2...t&lid=tab5pos1 Some cheese, but otherwise pretty funny. Except the Donkeys notes...all that stuff seems factual and accurate: AFC West Denver Broncos: Coaches say new Broncos running back Travis Henry has all the tools necessary to thrive in Denver's system. He has legs. And also arms, a torso and a head. The only thing Henry needs to work on are ethical issues over his blockers taking out the knees of his would-be tacklers … Head coach Mike Shanahan has completed his preseason regimen of chemical injections to get his skin to a glowing Broncos Orange … According to numerous media reports, Jay Cutler is the greatest quarterback of all-time. Kansas City Chiefs: The Chiefs were featured on HBO's "Hard Knocks" series this preseason, which provided viewers with a behind-the-scenes look at how Kansas City will go about underutilizing Tony Gonzalez this year … If Brodie Croyle or Damon Huard doesn't work out at quarterback, the Chiefs are said to be interested in signing Joe Montana … Larry Johnson's new contract pays him a $25,000 bonus every time he feels disrespected and is expected to earn him $75 billion over the life of the deal. Oakland Raiders: Owner Al Davis is said to be so excited about this season that he purchased a new gold chain for his lady glasses … Doctors have diagnosed new head coach Lane Kiffin's mystery ailment as a very severe case of regret … New quarterback Daunte Culpepper was disappointed to arrive in Oakland only to discover Randy Moss had already left. San Diego Chargers: Shawne Merriman put an end to his "Lights Out" dance because he felt that sort of display was only fitting under a flashy coach like Marty Schottenheimer … New head coach Norv Turner says conservative play calling will not work in the playoffs if the Chargers somehow make the playoffs with Norv Turner as their head coach.
Posts: 1,096

08-17-2007, 12:20 PM	#2
Bowser sorta mod-ish Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: KC North Casino cash: $-138384	Heh. Good stuff. Where the hell have you been? And why isn't your boy Jim Bob Cooter on the team (besides the whole getting arrested thing)?
Posts: 106,751

08-17-2007, 01:29 PM	#4
Arrowhead Pride Starter Join Date: Aug 2006 Casino cash: $10004900	I saw Jim Bob Cooter a few years ago at a party at UT. He had a shirt on that said "Jim Bob Cooter Football Camp". He basically stood in the corner trying to look tough while we all wondered why the hell he was there. Stereotypical douchebag who thought he was much more important than he really was. __________________ http://www.arrowheadpride.com
Posts: 319