Rollercoaster Ride to Indy

[stevieray]

...first off..major props to waaka waaka and grandllama for making this trip possible..your generosity was through the roof. thank you so much.

.left my house around 730pm friday...arrive in indy 0500 local time...get to llamas..can't fall asleep till 8..up at 10 and head to the the Ram which is PACKED to the gills with Chiefs fans...tired but excited...run into OTWP, Monty, prcapone Marty Mac and ruckdafaiders..CP represent! great to be able to hang with you guys....

get in lucas oil...gotta admit, pretty damn nice stadium..keep running into fans that I know from Arrowhead....pretty sweet..tip your hat ..chiefs fans are really starting to travel well..starting to get pumped...talk to DJ on his way back to locckerrom pregame....notice they are wearing all white uni's..for some strange reason it bothered me....


.. and here is where it gets weird..at kick off..I get a lump in my throat and tear up...i couldn't hold back the tears..i don't if it was the futilty of playoffs past, the desire to get the monkey off our back..or just the snakebit mentality coming back to haunt me...i was at the palyoff game in 2006 and got treated like crapf rom their fans and wanted to seem them crushed. CRUSHED....

Chiefs are gaining lead, and i can't enjoy it...colts first drive IIRC, was nothing but passing plays...churns stomach...Chiefs are not getting pressure on Luck.


go outside at halftime, come back in to find 38-10..feeling pretty good..still can't get excited...just too much football left to play....and then it begins...i keep telling myself, just keep matching points, and they'll run out of time...and then it rears it's ugly head..i'm siitting in my seat (very last row) with a 14 point lead, and I don't feel confident....as I watch the lead deteriorate, i look at waaka and tell him we're gonna lose by one....Chiefs get the ball, and i'm seething at the swing passes..why aren't you going DOWN the field....?..and even then, on the fourth and game..I'm STILL clinging to the hope of last second FG for the win....and then..there is nothing...not mad, not sad..I'm just NUMB.

there is no rhyme or reason for it...how does tha defense fall so hard so fast...how is it that other teams play consistantly throughout the year, and our team isn't only consistant, it does a complete 180..how does a defense get burned over and over with the same play, by the same player and doesn't adjust? how is it that dex is fourth in career return yards, not return kickoffs when Demps did nothing? WHERE is the fire? WHERE is the motivation? WHERE IS THE DESIRE TO PUT THE FOOT ON THE THROAT OF THIS TEAMS NEMESIS?

how does this franchise win one playoff game in 47 years, regardless of coaches players etc....why is it so hard for this organization to field a complete FB team...? how does a team let a FOUR TD lead slip away..HOW?

..get back to llamas..have to get on the road to beat the snow..get back 0600two hours sleep in two days..get woken up with coffee and breakfast from my lovely wife, just in time to watch an 8-8 team who doesn't even deserve to be there, advance in the playoffs.

I'm spent. completely and utterly SPENT. I've tried to remain positive through these AWFUL coaching hires, figuring at some point ,it's gonna be our time...i honestly thought, even through the reservations, that yesterday was that time.

i'm sitting here now, with a pit in my stomach, feeling like i did when I found out last year at a SB party that a good friend committed sucide..just can't wrap my head around it....oh, we're headed in the right direction blablahblah mantra just doesn't cut it with me anymore....


and the worst thing personally..? when i'm going down the stairs at halftime? head security dude on club level LOVES the 60's blazer, asks me how many in my party, and then tells me to comeback halfway through the fourth, and he would let us ib leveln, direct us to the elevator and let us celbrate the win in the friends and family area by the lockerrom...I could've celebrated with the team..STOLEN

like blowfish, I've been following this team since i was a little boy..watched then win the SB on a black and white TV...I truly feel for the younger fans..they and this city deserve SO much more than this....


trying to find my smile, hope you can finds yours.


out.