Carl Peterson's To-Do List For the Offseason.

[Rain Man]

A friend of mine went into Carl Peterson's office and found his to-do list for next year. I thought I'd share it.

1. Determine whether Huard is a good fit at starting quarterback next year or whether he should pursue Gus Frerotte or Rob Johnson.

2. Go back and study the 1984 and 1985 Philadelphia Stars to see how he can recreate the magic.

3. Begin the process of ensuring a lengthy holdout and animosity-filled negotiating process with Jared Allen via public proclamations that Allen "really isn't a very good football player".

4. Identify the two first-round draft prospects whose agents will still return his calls.

5. Re-sign Eddie Drummond while he's cheap.

6. Determine if Herm has slowed down the offense enough or if it needs to be further slowed next year.

7. Add another layer of bulletproof glass to his home, office, and car.

8. Identify athletes with great measurables and no football instincts to draft in the second round.

9. Attempt to find an even older kicker.

10. Figure out how much to raise ticket prices this year.

11. Arrange to have the backs of empty Arrowhead seats painted to look like people.

12. Send package of Omaha steaks to Matt Millen for winning their bet about who is the better General Manager.

13. Explore trading our best players to stockpile draft picks to give up for coaches and/or busts.

14. Make sure that Clark remembers the incriminating photos he has of Lamar from back in 1988.

15. Marry Eva Braun, pack more sandbags in front of bunker.