All-Idiot Team Offseason Moves

Mark M · 02-21-2001, 01:49 PM

[b]Defense:[/b]
[b]PR/KR:[/b] mlyonsd: [i]Lockett A&M[/i]; Perfected the "Catch with Your Helmet" technique his rookie year. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A helmet that not only helps him catch but makes him faster.
[b]LB:[/b] Chief Priority: [i]M. Chambers College[/i]; Lightning quick linebacker has the ability to fill more holes than Ron Jeremy. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/I] Raquel Darrian wearing nothing but a bowtie, a smile and him.
[b]LB:[/b] Chief Red Pants: [i]College of Liberal Theology[/i]; 20 career Republican sacks. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] George W. Bush’s head on a pike (the long, pointed stick … not the fish).
[b]DT:[/b] The Fly: [i]Wall College[/i]; Named MVP of the [i]opponents offense[/i] ... a.k.a. "Mr. 1st and Five." [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A huge salary based upon no on-the-field performance whatsoever.
[b]DT:[/b] 58forever: [i]F.U.[/i]; Went three straight plays without jumping offsides. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] One Playboy (the magazine, not a person ... although negotiations on the "Any Port in A Storm" clause is currently being worked out.)
[b]DT:[/b] Logical: [i]University of Vulcan[/i]; Made 52 clearly outlined posts in a row ... still a record. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A date with Lt. O'Houra and a chance meeting with Leonard Nimoy.
[b]DE:[/b] Gaz: [i]Kansas State University[/i]; Forced 12 fumbles of logic by Packfan on one thread...also still a record. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A staring role in the next Cohen brothers movie.
[b]*DE:[/b] Stevieray: [i]Vaughan University[/I]; Has given out more hits in his career than htismaque’s bong. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] None as of yet.
[b]RCB:[/b] htismaque: [i]B. Morris College[/i]; Refused to play on anything but grass. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Ounce of Indica and 2-foot Graphix.
[b]*LCB:[/b] Disco Jones: [i]Soul Train Academy[/i]; Still recovering from well-publicized injury while doing the Electric Slide. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Boogie shoes.
[b]SS:[/b] WisChief: [i]College of the Tundra[/i]; Had 67 tackles last year... three on opposing players and 64 on annoying Packer’s fans. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] 1975 AMC Pacer.
[b]FS:[/b] Iowanian: [i] University of HardKnocks[/i]; Once, when seeing the wide-eyed look on an opponents face, shot said opponent thinking that it was deer season. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Doe tag for life.
[b]Punter:[/b] Mi_chief_fan: (see above). [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Anything he wants … he owns the damn team.

[Edited by Mark M on 02-22-2001 at 07:14 AM]

02-21-2001, 01:49 PM	#3
Mark M What time is it? Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: You tell me ... Casino cash: $9884900	[b]Defense:[/b] [b]PR/KR:[/b] mlyonsd: [i]Lockett A&M[/i]; Perfected the "Catch with Your Helmet" technique his rookie year. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A helmet that not only helps him catch but makes him faster. [b]LB:[/b] Chief Priority: [i]M. Chambers College[/i]; Lightning quick linebacker has the ability to fill more holes than Ron Jeremy. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/I] Raquel Darrian wearing nothing but a bowtie, a smile and him. [b]LB:[/b] Chief Red Pants: [i]College of Liberal Theology[/i]; 20 career Republican sacks. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] George W. Bush’s head on a pike (the long, pointed stick … not the fish). [b]DT:[/b] The Fly: [i]Wall College[/i]; Named MVP of the [i]opponents offense[/i] ... a.k.a. "Mr. 1st and Five." [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A huge salary based upon no on-the-field performance whatsoever. [b]DT:[/b] 58forever: [i]F.U.[/i]; Went three straight plays without jumping offsides. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] One Playboy (the magazine, not a person ... although negotiations on the "Any Port in A Storm" clause is currently being worked out.) [b]DT:[/b] Logical: [i]University of Vulcan[/i]; Made 52 clearly outlined posts in a row ... still a record. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A date with Lt. O'Houra and a chance meeting with Leonard Nimoy. [b]DE:[/b] Gaz: [i]Kansas State University[/i]; Forced 12 fumbles of logic by Packfan on one thread...also still a record. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] A staring role in the next Cohen brothers movie. [b]DE:[/b] Stevieray: [i]Vaughan University[/I]; Has given out more hits in his career than htismaque’s bong. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] None as of yet. [b]RCB:[/b] htismaque: [i]B. Morris College[/i]; Refused to play on anything but grass. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Ounce of Indica and 2-foot Graphix. [b]LCB:[/b] Disco Jones: [i]Soul Train Academy[/i]; Still recovering from well-publicized injury while doing the Electric Slide. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Boogie shoes. [b]SS:[/b] WisChief: [i]College of the Tundra[/i]; Had 67 tackles last year... three on opposing players and 64 on annoying Packer’s fans. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] 1975 AMC Pacer. [b]FS:[/b] Iowanian: [i] University of HardKnocks[/i]; Once, when seeing the wide-eyed look on an opponents face, shot said opponent thinking that it was deer season. [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Doe tag for life. [b]Punter:[/b] Mi_chief_fan: (see above). [i]2001 SALARY CAP DEMANDS:[/i] Anything he wants … he owns the damn team. [Edited by Mark M on 02-22-2001 at 07:14 AM]
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