Odd fans.

[Rain Man]

I was at the sports bar yesterday, and I never fail to be amazed at some people. At the table next to me, a guy and his kid, whose gender was never determined, cheered loudly for Tampa Bay and were really into the game. They then got up and left at halftime.

Another person with a Panthers jersey showed up halfway through the fourth quarter of his team's game.

And finally, some dude in a Redskins jersey was next to me. If it's a 'Skins jersey you know that he's not too bright, but this was also a Portis jersey which meant that he was also a jerk. He was rooting for the Chargers for some reason and was making a big deal of himself, standing up and whooping and stuff whenever they had a good play. Then they lost and he started watching some other game that didn't involved the Redskins, and he would do the same for them. You can't get excited enough to whoop for more than one team, in my opinion. It's fake to even pretend.

And then of course you've got the people who are only interested in fantasy football stuff, as opposed to watching the game. If anybody asks me who scored and they're not in a Chiefs jersey, I just tell them it was Kris Wilson, unless it was Kris Wilson, and then I tell them it was Jeff Webb. Sheesh.

Last but not least, I used to be able to get a good sports show on the radio as I was driving to the sports bar. This year, they took off the preview show and replaced it with these screaming people with criminal-sounding Brooklyn accents who talk about nothing but gambling. Then the commercials are other disgusting people with criminal-sounding Brooklyn accents who talk about nothing but gambling. I hate that. I hate people turning the sacred sport of football into nothing more than another roulette wheel. Go! Leave us alone! Bet on cards or which bird will fly off a high-tension wire first or something. And for crying out loud, take some diction lessons. These people made me put my hand on my billfold even over the radio.