Kent Babb dismantles Fat Scott

[FAX]

Well, we have a problem. The amount of lost revenue caused by boycotting the games seems to be negligible while the KC Star advertisement appears to be unaffordable by everyone except Pioli himself.

It's strangely strange in a strange way, but on top of that, there are loads of people on Twitter and elsewhere who are self-identified Chiefs fans and who seem to believe that "fandom" is all about backing your team through thick or thin. These people apparently attend games and purchase Chiefs kitsch when we suck in an effort to help the team feel better about themselves. It's incredibly self-sacrificing since the players, coaches, and our faultless GM are paid fortunes whether we suck or not.

The answer lies in chicken bones. We must sacrifice a chicken and grind its bones into a powder to mix with snake venom and bat blood in order to make a little statuette that resembles Pioli in a sitting position and sporting large, voluminous tittahs. Once this is accomplished, we can torture that little Pioli using fire and various sharpened instruments until he goes mad and runs naked through the field of play on national television. Since both he and Clark are extremely image-conscious, this should result in some sort of involuntary imprisonment in a local mental facility for a period sufficient to locate and secure his replacement.

FAX