I think there might be bears in my back yard. - Page 5

**Rain Man** · 04-13-2005, 08:51 AM

Last night, my wife came to me and said that she's seeing "bear spots" in our yard. She took me outside and, lo and behold, there are several places in the yard where all the grass is gone, presumably the result of bears rolling around or something.

(By the way, I don't know much about bear behavior, but I did notice that they must seem to like the spots in our yard that get the most sun. So be careful if you're in a sunny area.)

Now I'm afraid to go outside. My wife says that she can call a company to take care of the bear spots, but that's not going to fix the core problem of bears rolling around outside just feet from my house. My wife thinks this isn't a big deal, but I'm worried. Any suggestions?

JimNasium · 04-13-2005, 01:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ZootedGranny

NewChiefs first post becomes a lot funnier when you think of the gay slang reference for "bear."

Denverchief?

**Rain Man** · 04-13-2005, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnytrdr

Kill them immediately.

Sometimes I wonder how good a pet store owner you really are.

NewChief · 04-13-2005, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Sometimes I wonder how good a pet store owner you really are.

I thought he raised rabbits for food and mice and crap for people to feed to snakes. Sort of a

pet store owner.

**CosmicPal** · 04-13-2005, 02:17 PM

I highly doubt these are bears you are talking about, Kev.

C'mon- you are in the middle of the city. How do you think a bear is going to make it to your backyard without being noticed. You think the bear put on a clown suit and walked on it's hind legs for say, oh, uhm, 20 or 30 miles into town? And I don't buy the fact the bear rode in on a unicycle either.

Now, it may have fallen out of the back of a truck carrying circus animals, but I haven't heard anything about a missing bear in the Denver news.

So, I think you're getting up in the middle of the night, putting on your fake bear suit and rolling around in the backyard during one of your sleepwalking episodes. You've had a strange fascination with putting honey on everything lately and now you're experiencing these bear-like symptoms.

Otherwise, it's more likely to be a UFO that landed in your yard. That makes more sense.

**Rain Man** · 04-13-2005, 02:54 PM

I know it seems preposterous, but my wife showed me the bear spots in the lawn. I saw them with my own two eyes.

bogie · 04-13-2005, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

I know it seems preposterous, but my wife showed me the bear spots in the lawn. I saw them with my own two eyes.

Your dogs need to find another place to pee.

**Rain Man** · 04-13-2005, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bowser

There you have it! Get the rhino, set the bear on fire, and the rhino will kill it by stomping out the fire!

And you thought you had a crisis on your hands. Pffft!

The rhino: nature's fireman.

JimNasium · 04-13-2005, 03:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bogie

Your dogs need to find another place to pee.

I think this actually has more to do with the cultish behavior of his cats. They have their very own Egyptian god afterall.

Calcountry · 04-13-2005, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

Sometimes I wonder how good a pet store owner you really are.

Hehehehehehhehh. Well, I am more of a FEED STORE at heart, but the town changed so we emphasise a lot of pet stuff.

Calcountry · 04-13-2005, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewChief

I thought he raised rabbits for food and mice and crap for people to feed to snakes. Sort of a

pet store owner.

There you go.

But I am discreet about the rats, I hide them in the back of the store in the dimly lit corner, almost like selling porn.

Keeps the pet loving clientelle in the dark. All the rats come up to the cash register already bagged and tagged.

NewChief · 04-13-2005, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnytrdr

Hehehehehehhehh. Well, I am more of a FEED STORE at heart, but the town changed so we emphasise a lot of pet stuff.

I told you he was only interested in raising animals, or "pets", as things to eat. He sells gerbils to snakeowners, rabbits to some frou frou Kalifornian restaurant, and cats to the Vietnamese restaurant down the street.

That's what he means when he says "feed store."

Calcountry · 04-13-2005, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewChief

I told you he was only interested in raising animals, or "pets", as things to eat. He sells gerbils to snakeowners, rabbits to some frou frou Kalifornian restaurant, and cats to the Vietnamese restaurant down the street.

That's what he means when he says "feed store."

I am the kind of pet store that stays in business.

I use to sell discount cigarettes out of my shop, right along with bird seed, dog food, and other such stuff.

I run my store business first, pet second so whatever generates foot traffic and turns the buck.

Animals are here for humans to steward and if the Bear is infringing on your teritory, you need to take it out before something or God forbid someone gets hurt.

Dig a big trench with a back hoe, shoot it, and bury the fugger and don't tell anyone.

NewChief · 04-13-2005, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bunnytrdr

I am the kind of pet store that stays in business.

I use to sell discount cigarettes out of my shop, right along with bird seed, dog food, and other such stuff.

I run my store business first, pet second so whatever generates foot traffic and turns the buck.

Animals are here for humans to steward and if the Bear is infringing on your teritory, you need to take it out before something or God forbid someone gets hurt.

Dig a big trench with a back hoe, shoot it, and bury the fugger and don't tell anyone.

I'm just fuggin with you

Unfortunately, I called your local PETA chapter, and they didnt' think it was so funny.

Seriously, I think it's cool that you've made a niche small business work, especially in a place as expensive to live as Cali. Props to you.

Jenny Gump · 04-13-2005, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcroft

If, as AirForceChiefs says, the type of bears in your area are Black Bears, they don't pose much of a threat to you. While they are omnivores, they are generally not very predatory -- they eat mostly insects, nuts, small fruit, etc.

If you really think there's a possibility you have them hanging around, I'd call your local ranger or wildlife organization and see what they suggest.

Genous.

Calcountry · 04-13-2005, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NewChief

I'm just fuggin with you

Unfortunately, I called your local PETA chapter, and they didnt' think it was so funny.

Seriously, I think it's cool that you've made a niche small business work, especially in a place as expensive to live as Cali. Props to you.

PETA is from the Devil man. Seriously protein deprived people, it has somehow affected their thought processes.

Personally, I feel that they should be classified as a terrorist organization.

04-13-2005, 08:51 AM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-452449 VARSITY	I think there might be bears in my back yard. Last night, my wife came to me and said that she's seeing "bear spots" in our yard. She took me outside and, lo and behold, there are several places in the yard where all the grass is gone, presumably the result of bears rolling around or something. (By the way, I don't know much about bear behavior, but I did notice that they must seem to like the spots in our yard that get the most sun. So be careful if you're in a sunny area.) Now I'm afraid to go outside. My wife says that she can call a company to take care of the bear spots, but that's not going to fix the core problem of bears rolling around outside just feet from my house. My wife thinks this isn't a big deal, but I'm worried. Any suggestions?
Posts: 145,251

04-13-2005, 02:17 PM	#64
CosmicPal Learn it. Know it. Live it. Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Casino cash: $10004900	I highly doubt these are bears you are talking about, Kev. C'mon- you are in the middle of the city. How do you think a bear is going to make it to your backyard without being noticed. You think the bear put on a clown suit and walked on it's hind legs for say, oh, uhm, 20 or 30 miles into town? And I don't buy the fact the bear rode in on a unicycle either. Now, it may have fallen out of the back of a truck carrying circus animals, but I haven't heard anything about a missing bear in the Denver news. So, I think you're getting up in the middle of the night, putting on your fake bear suit and rolling around in the backyard during one of your sleepwalking episodes. You've had a strange fascination with putting honey on everything lately and now you're experiencing these bear-like symptoms. Otherwise, it's more likely to be a UFO that landed in your yard. That makes more sense. __________________ - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - Four blessings upon my fellow planeteers: Older whiskey, younger women, faster horses, and more money.
Posts: 10,840

04-13-2005, 02:54 PM	#65
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-452449 VARSITY	I know it seems preposterous, but my wife showed me the bear spots in the lawn. I saw them with my own two eyes. __________________ Active fan of the greatest team in NFL history.
Posts: 145,251

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