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I just exploded. I'm sorry I didn't have an opportunity to pre-warn you. My eyes are still watering.

It tastes a little bit spicy around my butt hole. The slight air movement inside of the toilet feels strangely cool and makes it hurt. I'm scared to look down because I know it's messy. I'm sure the bowl will require a brush to return to its previously white state.

The stench is awful. It's making me a bit nausious. I wouldn't want to follow me into this bathroom. I'll be certain to spray.... heavily. I dread wiping. I know it will soak through and onto my fingers. I wish I had a monitor on the wall so I could follow the Colts/Ravens.

I've been through for several minutes, but I'm allowing it to drip-dry. Hopefully I haven't missed too much of the game.

I'm bravely looking between my legs now..... there's a gigantic white log in there.... oh, wait. Sorry about that.

The water is murkey and I can't see a thing. Fortunately there's only one small splatter above the waterline. I hope the powerful flush will take it away.