Justifying Day Care

[pikesome]

I'll throw me $.02 in here since this is near and dear to me ATM. I stay home with my 2.5 year-old and his 12 year-old brother goes to school. Staying home isn't something you do instead of a job, it is a job. Just like throwing your suit on and doing whatever it is you do. I get "paid" not in hard cash but in a lowered cost of living. I don't have to pay for daycare (it starts at aprox $800/mo in my area), I cook most of our meals so we eat better and cheaper. I also don't pay for a second car since my wife's work is at night and we don't "need" one. Staying home also allows us to work with the hassles that come with my wife's chosen career as a nurse. I work 12 hour days, the youngest gets up about 8 AM and goes down about 8 PM, seven days a week. My wife helps when she can but after 4, 12 hour shifts in a week she's not able to completely take over. I also have far more experience with my kids, I can do any and all child care tasks easier and faster than my wife can.

Even if you completely ignore the "time spent with the kids" factor, it seems like a waste to pay someone for a job I can do better. I'm not "unemployed", I do a job far more important than 90% of people. And I get to play with my kids.

[bogie]

Originally Posted by pikesome

I'll throw me $.02 in here since this is near and dear to me ATM. I stay home with my 2.5 year-old and his 12 year-old brother goes to school. Staying home isn't something you do instead of a job, it is a job. Just like throwing your suit on and doing whatever it is you do. I get "paid" not in hard cash but in a lowered cost of living. I don't have to pay for daycare (it starts at aprox $800/mo in my area), I cook most of our meals so we eat better and cheaper. I also don't pay for a second car since my wife's work is at night and we don't "need" one. Staying home also allows us to work with the hassles that come with my wife's chosen career as a nurse. I work 12 hour days, the youngest gets up about 8 AM and goes down about 8 PM, seven days a week. My wife helps when she can but after 4, 12 hour shifts in a week she's not able to completely take over. I also have far more experience with my kids, I can do any and all child care tasks easier and faster than my wife can.

Even if you completely ignore the "time spent with the kids" factor, it seems like a waste to pay someone for a job I can do better. I'm not "unemployed", I do a job far more important than 90% of people. And I get to play with my kids.

I'm very happy this works for you. You're fortunate your wife makes enough $ for this to happen. Not everyone has the same opportunity.

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by bogie

I'm very happy this works for you. You're fortunate your wife makes enough $ for this to happen. Not everyone has the same opportunity.

Without painting to board of a stroke here, some people don't try hard enough. I'm with Simplex, kinda, on a lot of this. It is way too complicated of a subject for a definite blueprint but I see many people put their own wants and desires before what is best for the family or the kids.

[Simplex3]

Originally Posted by pikesome

Without painting to board of a stroke here, some people don't try hard enough. I'm with Simplex, kinda, on a lot of this. It is way too complicated of a subject for a definite blueprint but I see many people put their own wants and desires before what is best for the family or the kids.

You f**king jackass bigot f**k. Don't paint me like that.

[BucEyedPea]

Originally Posted by pikesome

Staying home isn't something you do instead of a job, it is a job. Just like throwing your suit on and doing whatever it is you do.

Well good for you! I'm really glad you said this because it's the truth. Too often care of a house with young children in it tearing it up 24/7 can be more work than full-time 40-hr-a-week job. This kind of work is so denigrated in today's society as doing nothing. It's easier in some ways to go to work each day dealing with adults than being home with little ones.

[pikesome]

Originally Posted by BucEyedPea

Well good for you! I'm really glad you said this because it's the truth. Too often care of a house with young children in it tearing it up 24/7 can be more work than full-time 40-hr-a-week job. This kind of work is so denigrated in today's society as doing nothing. It's easier in some ways to go to work each day dealing with adults than being home with little ones.

This is why my mother hates feminists with a passion. She has always felt like they denigrate her for staying at home and taking care of the kids.

[BucEyedPea]

Personally, I don't understand why this situation has to be so black and white - can't you have a career AND have normal, well-behaved kids that you see on a fairly regular basis? Some of you act like putting kids in daycare for any amount of time is the first step in raising a degenerate sociopath.

Because you really can't have both, and do both well, imo. At least NOT at the same time. Mothering is close to a full time job. There are way too many latch-key kids today.

I got a real reality check on this once I had mine and I was a feminist in college thinkin' I was gonna have this great career and kids too. Something has to take a back seat at least for a time. Kids don't and can't wait...they keep growing.

The reality is that high-powered careers come with loads of responsibility, extra hours and stress. There's a world of diffference when such ideas are written on paper than how it goes down in real life. Maria Shriver even wrote a small book on it.

Talk to any mother who has a demanding career, and you'll find some of the same things come up in our conversations....such as making more mistakes on the job etc.

Frankly, I found it exhausting.

Originally Posted by pikesome

This is why my mother hates feminists with a passion. She has always felt like they denigrate her for staying at home and taking care of the kids.

Well, I just don't believe in what they say anymore. Ya' know what, some teachers told me at my kid's school that they NEVER see the parents. The nanny picks them up and goes to parent meetings too. These are the rich ones that drive in their Mercedes too. Lol!

Yes the denigration. I remember reading a woman's mag about this, even when filling out applications for a bank loan when one writes mother and/or housewife. The denigrating looks. So one woman decided to change the title to "domestic engineer." Suddenly the interest and validation: "Oh really! What is that all about? Sounds interesting." .

It's actually the most important work any person will do. It's our future.