I Shouldn't Be Alive!! Your Dances With Death.

[Bwana]

Another thread got me thinking about various brushes with death throughout the years. What is the closest you have come to taking a dirt nap, kicking the bucket, cashing in the chips? Did you get hurt, or did it just scare the hell out of you?

I had one incident where I had a car going sideways around a corner at about 100 MPH. (No damage to me or the car) I have been bucked off several horses and landed in strange positions. (Bruises, but no broken bones) I have had an ATV on its side being drug along a pine tree, one sharp branch and I would have been toast. (Very lucky there) I have had guns pulled on me three times, knives twice. (Never shot or stabbed) Hell, I'm just getting warmed up here.


Dances with death, there is going to be some stories out there, lets hear them.

[Micjones]

Two car accidents.

1. When I was in college I once had an accident where I slid into a county vehicle making a U-turn on a residential road (legal according to police). The truck had a steel-reinforced 20 foot flatbed attached to it that I was unable to see until I came over the hill. I slammed my foot on the break, but the wet road made it impossible for me to stop in time. The car was totaled, but I walked away without a scratch.

2. When I was about 22 years old I ran off with a woman about 12 years older than I for a family trip to California that my mother advised against. The family decided to make this road trip from Kansas City. One hell of a long-distance trip obviously. Even more perilous when we made most of the trip without stopping overnight for a hotel stay. Her mother was adamant about driving straight through. Well... Days later when we were all dead tired from trading time behind the wheel...I was terrified. We all pleaded with her, but she was downright defiant. Needless to say...she fell asleep at the wheel, woke up, overcorrected and threw the van off of the highway. The van flipped several times...two people were thrown from the vehicle. I didn't have a seatbelt on, but I remained in the vehicle. The accident happened in the middle of nowhere Nevada at 3 or 4 in the morning.

If not for the grace of God...

[rockymtnchief]

Originally Posted by rockymtnchief

Ft. Worth- Had a bull get under my vest and run my ribs through my lung and liver. I got up somehow to run and he was back after me. It ran through my mind that if he hits me again I'm going to die. Then a bright flash of yellow blocked my view and went flying 15' in the air. It was a bullfighter that took the second shot and saved me.

BTW...The bullfighters name is Deacon Jones (not the football player). If anyone in Texas sees him. Tell him I said thanks.

[L.A. Chieffan]

Originally Posted by tooge

Leaving an eatery to head to the royals game. Some drunken idiot thinks he is in Nam (thats what he told the court anyways) and thinks I'm VC. He chases me for a couple of hundred yards with his car. I am on foot.I dont know this guy from Adam and dont know why he is after me. Well, after running for my life for about 2 minutes, I am out of energy, and just like in the movies, I trip on the curb going onto the median between two roads. I look up and see two headlights and a bumber a few feet from my head. Next thing I know I am flying through the air about 30 feet. I land only to sit up and see he is still commin for me. He runs me over. One tire goes over my shoulder and rolls me. The next tire (rear) goes over my mid back and spins me a bit. Rear diff hits my head and knocks me pretty silly. Fortunately, a fairly large chunk of my arm was left on his rear bumber underside and they caught him late that night while I was in surgery. Probably shoulda bit it that night, but I guess the big man had more need for me or something like that. Still have major shoulder trouble to this date, 3 surgeries later. Bastard got 90 days in a mental facility for his post traumatic stress syndrome.

jesus thats ****ed up. i wouldve turned into michael douglas in falling down after that shit

[Iowanian]

Originally Posted by BigRedChief

Illegally crossing the border into Russia, Lebanon, Syria and Jordan. 3 out of the 4 times I ended up being caught by the police/military, the other time was shot at by the border guards.

I went into the old arab section of Jerusalem(the only non arabs allowed in there are army soldeirs). That one got me in the hospital.

I'm curious what exactly you were prooving with those stunts?

Obviously it was not that you are a quick learner.

[Otter]

We were kayaking up in New York two summers ago and coming to the dock point so we were all pretty beat up and tired by this time. There was one last big spill over (about a 13' water fall) to go over and instead of doing things the right way and setting someone up down bottom I just went over.

Got turned sideways by a rock at the last second before dropping and when I landed lost the paddle from hitting my hands on some rocks. To top all this off I tucked my skirt release strap inside the kayak instead of outside. If you can't picture what that means - picture being stupid enough to go skydiving but tucking your release strap in with the chute.

Pretty ****ing stupid.

Anyway wound upside down at the bottom of a fair sized waterfall stuck in current with everyone else up top assuming things went well. In what I think was about 30 to 45 seconds things went from sheer panic, to a big lung full of water to everything going black. If you ever were put to sleep for an operation and you try to fight the ether, that's exactly what it felt like.

There was no warm fuzzy feeling or grandma there for me, just black.

Next thing I know I'm waking up to Dave French Kissing and coughing up water. I was blue "as a blueberry" and everyone was crying or looked terrified. Spent the night in the hospital because of a "dry drowning" possibilty and slept about 5 minutes the whole time. After that I spent about a week or two having dreams I was drowning and stuck in-between life and death.

I've had other accidents and bad situation but nothing even comes close to that one in terms of "bad".

Thank you Dave! I owe you a big one.

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by Otter

We were kayaking up in New York two summers ago and coming to the dock point so we were all pretty beat up and tired by this time. There was one last big spill over (about a 13' water fall) to go over and instead of doing things the right way and setting someone up down bottom I just went over.

Got turned sideways by a rock at the last second before dropping and when I landed lost the paddle from hitting my hands on some rocks. To top all this off I tucked my skirt release strap inside the kayak instead of outside. If you can't picture what that means - picture being stupid enough to go skydiving but tucking your release strap in with the chute.

Pretty ****ing stupid.

Anyway wound upside down at the bottom of a fair sized waterfall stuck in current with everyone else up top assuming things went well. In what I think was about 30 to 45 seconds things went from sheer panic, to a big lung full of water to everything going black. If you ever were put to sleep for an operation and you try to fight the ether, that's exactly what it felt like.

There was no warm fuzzy feeling or grandma there for me, just black.

Next thing I know I'm waking up to Dave French Kissing and coughing up water. I was blue "as a blueberry" and everyone was crying or looked terrified. Spent the night in the hospital because of a "dry drowning" possibilty and slept about 5 minutes the whole time. After that I spent about a week or two having dreams I was drowning and stuck in-between life and death.

I've had other accidents and bad situation but nothing even comes close to that one in terms of "bad".

Thank you Dave! I owe you a big one.

Ouch! I don't think you ever told me about that one.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by L.A.Chieffan

jesus thats ****ed up. i wouldve turned into michael douglas in falling down after that shit

Well, actually, I sort of tormented the bastard by phone and drive bys for about 6 or 7 months. I used to throw stuff at his house and windows and follow him around and scare him. This all happened about 19 years ago, and I was only 23 at the time. I had thoughts of capturing his ass and torturing him, but figured why waste my life on his. I am alive, thats enough. I figure his life is probably miserable without me making it so.

[Otter]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Ouch! I don't think you ever told me about that one.

Yeah, that ones not a good war story like trying to ride the mountain bike over the rope bridge. That one was a mind ****.

[PunkinDrublic]

In retrospect wearing my "Bikers are pussies" T-shirt to Rocklahoma last year was clearly a bad decision.

[Micjones]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

I got into an argument on the internet once. Afterwards I was like, "Whoaaaaa."

[Bwana]

Originally Posted by PunkinDrublic

In retrospect wearing my "Bikers are pussies" T-shirt to Rocklahoma last year was clearly a bad decision.

Heh, that kind of reminds me of a time when I went into a bar full of Hells Angles sporting my shit kickers and cowboy hat just for the fun of it. I was with a buddy on a road trip and I saw a bunch of bikes (50+) at a bar in West Yellowstone. I looked at my buddy and said "Now these boys have come all this way from CA, it would be rude not to stop in and join them for a tasty beverage." He didn't have on the boots or hat, but it still took some selling to talk him into it. These guys were looking at me like a was completely nuts. We were in there for about and hour and after bullshitting with them for awhile, they were buying us rounds. They turned out to be good guys once we figured out they were not going to try to kill us.

[sedated]

Got t-boned by a drunk driver, ran a red light going 70 in a 35.

He hit us hard enough to tear the engine off the front of my car (small plastic import), and if he had gotten there a 1/2 second later it would have ripped through the driver and passengers instead of the engine.

[Chief Faithful]

As a teenager in Lebanon I verbally labeled Palestinian Sympathizers (now they go by the name Hezbollah) the "piss" in the presense of one of their thin skinned members. The gun was pulled by the piss member and words exchanged. All I can say is I'm thankful I had several quick thinking cousins nearby at that moment. Later my oldest cousin spoke to me about the wisdom of choosing my words more carefully.

[Dartgod]

Originally Posted by Bwana

Heh, that kind of reminds me of a time when I went into a bar full of Hells Angles sporting my shit kickers and cowboy hat just for the fun of it. I was with a buddy on a road trip and I saw a bunch of bikes (50+) at a bar in West Yellowstone. I looked at my buddy and said "Now these boys have come all this way from CA, it would be rude not to stop in and join them for a tasty beverage." He didn't have on the boots or hat, but it still took some selling to talk him into it. These guys were looking at me like a was completely nuts. We were in there for about and hour and after bullshitting with them for awhile, they were buying us rounds. They turned out to be good guys once we figured out they were not going to try to kill us.

Did their leader look like this?

[Otter]

Originally Posted by Dartgod

Did their leader look like this?

That some kick ass temp tattoos, wonder how long they last? It would be cool to walk around for a weekend that.

Until u get your ass kicked for having fake tattoos that is...