Shit your wife does that MAKES YOU INSANE

[Frazod]

The first week of December, I finished my Christmas shopping. One of the gifts was a Best Buy gift card for the brother-in-law. I put it in a spot in the kitchen where it wouldn't get lost. So, I went to wrap it tonight, and GUESS WHAT - it's gone.

I didn't touch the ****ing thing. But, like every other goddamn thing that dissappears around here, the wife HAS NO IDEA WHERE IT IS AND NEVER TOUCHED IT. Just like every other damn thing that she swears she never saw or touched that I find in some maddeningly stupid-assed place that only she would put it, anywhere from a week to a year later, and always when I'm looking for something else that magically vanished in the same manner. "Wasn't me, honey. Must have been you. And why do you always blame me?"

BECAUSE YOU'RE ALWAYS THE ONE WHO ****ING LOSES THINGS!



And then, when I clearly bust her on it, she still denies it. Never an apology. Never an "I was wrong." Just I DIDN'T DO IT.



Well, I don't have a week to a year to wait for this to turn up, so I'll have to go back out at the height of last-minute-rush Christmas shopping hell and replace it (I'd make her do it, but she doesn't drive). I'M SO ****ING PISSED OFF I CAN'T SEE STRAIGHT. More money flying out of my wallet after a month that has already seen me melt my friggin credit cards into goo.

WHY DOES SHE DO THIS? WHY WHY WHY

[Donger]

Originally Posted by Pants

Poor driving/parking skills is a good one. Hobo's den inside her car is another one.

Yeah, but I always try to find the good in the bad. For example, I can change the driver's side mirror on her Jeep in under two minutes now.

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Donger

Yeah, but I always try to find the good in the bad. For example, I can change the driver's side mirror on her Jeep in under two minutes now.

[The Rick]

Originally Posted by blaise

Here's what I hate. When I say I don't care where we eat, I literally don't care. It could be hot dogs at the QT or a steak dinner. When she says she doesn't care where we eat what she really means is she wants something healthy, that doesn't cost too much, that we haven't been to recently, that isn't too far away, that we won't have to wait to be seated for, that isn't fast food. And then whatever it is, when we've eaten and we're done, she wasn't happy with it anyway.

I can totally relate to this one. Like you said, when I say I don't care, it literally means anywhere is fine. With my wife, here's how the conversation goes:

ME: When do you want to eat?
HER: I don't care.
ME: OK, how about _______?
HER: No, I don't feel like ______ food.
ME: OK, how about _______ instead?
HER: No, _____ doesn't sound good either.
ME: Well where do you want to go then?
HER: I don't care.
ME:

[DJ's left nut]

Originally Posted by blaise

Here's what I hate. When I say I don't care where we eat, I literally don't care. It could be hot dogs at the QT or a steak dinner. When she says she doesn't care where we eat what she really means is she wants something healthy, that doesn't cost too much, that we haven't been to recently, that isn't too far away, that we won't have to wait to be seated for, that isn't fast food. And then whatever it is, when we've eaten and we're done, she wasn't happy with it anyway.

The dinner thing is always strange to me - there's actually a pretty easy solution.

If neither of us has a strong preference, we just come up with 5ish options (usually extremely easy), then take turns knocking names off the list. Even when you don't know what you want, you usually know what you don't want.

And if it comes down to 2 names and you're the one that's picking, you can always offer to defer to the wife and if she doesn't take it she can't really complain.

Now the stubborn refusal to let me bang college girls....well I haven't found a way around that one yet. The dinner conundrum, OTOH, is easy as all hell to address.

[notorious]

My wife leaves empty feminine product packages next to the sink.



2 feet away from the trashcan.

[Stewie]

I know why they call you PA... because you're PAthetic!

I know why they call you MA, because you're always riding MA ASS!

[KC Dan]

Originally Posted by The Rick

I can totally relate to this one. Like you said, when I say I don't care, it literally means anywhere is fine. With my wife, here's how the conversation goes:

ME: When do you want to eat?
HER: I don't care.
ME: OK, how about _______?
HER: No, I don't feel like ______ food.
ME: OK, how about _______ instead?
HER: No, _____ doesn't sound good either.
ME: Well where do you want to go then?
HER: I don't care.
ME:

Every married man in the world feels your pain on this one.

[Graystoke]

I live in like a 840 SQ FT Cabin and 300 SQ FT are occupied by

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Graystoke

I live in like a 840 SQ FT Cabin and 300 SQ FT are occupied by

Yeah, I get about 1/4 of our closet space. SRSLY WOMAN!

[ToxSocks]

Another one is the, "I don't have ANYTHING to wear" line. I hate it, i hate it so much.

She has almost an entire dresser full of clothes, almost everything in the closet is hers, yet she can't find something to wear.

It's like, "Woman, you bought new clothes just a few weeks ago, the last time i got new clothes was over a YEAR ago.....yet YOU have nothing to wear...."

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Detoxing

Another one is the, "I don't have ANYTHING to wear" line. I hate it, i hate it so much.

She has almost an entire dresser full of clothes, almost everything in the closet is hers, yet she can't find something to wear.

It's like, "Woman, you bought new clothes just a few weeks ago, the last time i got new clothes was over a YEAR ago.....yet YOU have nothing to wear...."

Yeah. Isn't it the best when she's like "I have to go shopping tonight so I can find something cute to wear tomorrow"? This happens pretty much every other time we go out. Just boggles my mind.

[Graystoke]

Originally Posted by Pants

Yeah, I get about 1/4 of our closet space. SRSLY WOMAN!

You got a 1/4? Shit man your livin high on the hog!

Here is a picture of my only pair of shoes.

[ToxSocks]

Originally Posted by Pants

Yeah. Isn't it the best when she's like "I have to go shopping tonight so I can find something cute to wear tomorrow"? This happens pretty much every other time we go out. Just boggles my mind.

OMFG, yes. Everytime she wants to go out she has to get a new outfit.

What pisses me off the most is that that new outfit is only good to use about once every 3 ****ing months because she can't wear the same thing twice when going out. She doesn't want anyone remembering that she wore that "last time".

And to top it off, it's usually "going out clothes" opposed to something she can get any practical use out of.

[notorious]

Originally Posted by Pants

Yeah. Isn't it the best when she's like "I have to go shopping tonight so I can find something cute to wear tomorrow"? This happens pretty much every other time we go out. Just boggles my mind.

I ask my wife,"Who are you trying to impress?"





It's a constant cycle of giving each other shit. Sometimes she doesn't "Get" it.

[Pants]

Originally Posted by Detoxing

OMFG, yes. Everytime she wants to go out she has to get a new outfit.

What pisses me off the most is that that new outfit is only good to use about once every 3 ****ing months because she can't wear the same thing twice when going out. She doesn't want anyone remembering that she wore that "last time".

And to top it off, it's usually "going out clothes" opposed to something she can get any practical use out of.

LOL yeap.

/smh