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Old 05-15-2013, 11:14 AM  
lcarus lcarus is offline
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Wow thought I was done for
Sunday night I was driving the company vehicle, going to pick up a couple office chairs. I went to the gas station, bought some smokes, came back out, and as I was fumbling for my keys to get back in the van, this black guy from one of the pumps near me starts sprinting screaming "BAIL!". I looked through my windows to see what the hell was going on, and I see a car roaring right at me with a burning gas pump on his hood. So I immediately jumped in the van because he was 2 seconds away from nailing my passenger side and I didn't wanna get crushed. I jumped in and braced myself, hoping it wasn't gonna be too bad or there wasn't going to be an explosion or somethin. BOOM. Knocked my ass about 2 parking spots over, and damn near into the store. There was fire and smoke and shit everywhere so I got out and started running away. I didn't know if the whole station was gonna go up. All in all, I'm fine and the driver is ok. My back and tailbone is hurtin pretty damn bad. Turns out this old guy blacked out while driving on the street....



He somehow split the 2 posts where the gas pump was. There couldn't have been more than an inch on either side of his vehicle...
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:29 AM   #16
Frazod Frazod is offline
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I'll assume some sharting was involved here, but spare us the details.

Glad you're okay.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:30 AM   #17
lcarus lcarus is offline
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I'll assume some sharting was involved here, but spare us the details.

Glad you're okay.
Actually somehow I was pretty collected. I didn't have a lot of time to poop myself. I just hopped in and knew I was about to be nailed by a car with a flaming pump on the hood. Seemed like it took forever for it to hit. I was just thinking "This might hurt....."
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:34 AM   #18
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Actually somehow I was pretty collected. I didn't have a lot of time to poop myself. I just hopped in and knew I was about to be nailed by a car with a flaming pump on the hood. Seemed like it took forever for it to hit. I was just thinking "This might hurt....."
When tested, 9 out of 10 participants pooped themselves.

Good job!
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:43 AM   #19
Sandy Vagina Sandy Vagina is offline
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Haha! That sounds ****ing insane! Glad you are alright and lived to tell. Hope you get something worthwhile in compensation for all the trouble that caused.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:47 AM   #20
Rain Man Rain Man is offline
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Glad you're okay, and that the split second delay of your mind registering, "hey, that yelling guy is black" didn't get you killed.
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Old 05-15-2013, 11:52 AM   #21
Demonpenz Demonpenz is offline
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and that black man yelling was future hall of fame qb geno smith.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:00 PM   #22
Thig Lyfe Thig Lyfe is offline
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:01 PM   #23
Bump Bump is offline
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damn, so if that guy didn't yell out BAIL! would you have seen it coming and maybe it would have crushed you? That's some crazy shit.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:05 PM   #24
HemiEd HemiEd is offline
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Another reason why you shouldn't smoke.
Or go to Tulsa!


Glad you are ok lcarus!
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:06 PM   #25
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Glad you're okay, and that the split second delay of your mind registering, "hey, that yelling guy is black" didn't get you killed.
Yeah, I'd be wondering "Bail? What do you need bail for? Youre already out of the slammer apparently." and then boom, it would be all over.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:15 PM   #26
lcarus lcarus is offline
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damn, so if that guy didn't yell out BAIL! would you have seen it coming and maybe it would have crushed you? That's some crazy shit.
Yes I would have had no clue and might have been crushed. I thanked the guy for giving me the heads up. Even if I ran, which I guess was an option in hindsight, I probably would have run away from the store and behind and away from my van, which is apparently where that flaming gas pump landed. So I think getting in was the best option given the scenario. I was also afraid if I ran the guy might have swerved to avoid the van and hit me running away. I didn't know he was unconscious behind the wheel.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:18 PM   #27
ptlyon ptlyon is offline
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Don't know in Tulsa, but driving unconscious is a violation around here.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:20 PM   #28
durtyrute durtyrute is offline
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Race played an important role in this true life event.



glad you didn't die
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:29 PM   #29
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Houston, is that you?
**** you. I'm not telling the guy to go pop an insurance check. I'm saying that back and neck issues are serious, and insurance companies will do whatever they can to **** you over. If you don't know any better, than shut your ****ing mouth about things you've never experienced.
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Old 05-15-2013, 12:29 PM   #30
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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Sorry I yelled...
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