Man: Female Jogger Defecates Next To My House...Repeatedly

[journeyscarab]

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.

I Luv this story.

[Fish]

Originally Posted by Saul Good

I have to admit...the surveillance camera footage is pretty impressive. She does her business in about three seconds flat and goes right back to running.

Not quite as fast as that supermarket pooper lady.... but she's practicing....

[aturnis]

Activia!

[seclark]

if I tried to take a shit that quick i'd blow out my o-ring.
respect.
sec

[Oxford]

I'd set up a lawn sprinker working that area

Originally Posted by seclark

if I tried to take a shit that quick i'd blow out my o-ring.
respect.
sec

No doubt. I allocate 15 minutes for my own ritual. There's usually a little extra my boy, Colin sends down after the first splash.

[MeaTy The Pimp]

She had the runs while on her runs. Go figure...

[ShortRoundChief]

I'm trying to understand why this person would be upset by this. Most people pay extra for the golden brown treatment.

[mikey23545]

Originally Posted by Phobia

I Luv this story.

I wonder if it happens during roller derby matches?

[mikey23545]

Originally Posted by journeyscarab

http://www.breitbart.com/InstaBlog/2...medium=twitter

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - A Nob Hill man is hoping that surveillance footage will lead to the identification of a female jogger who has been repeatedly defecating next to his home while out on her morning runs. The man told reporters that he thought it was a one time occurrence and that the culprit was a homeless person. But video footage shows the culprit to be a young female jogger who has conducted her business at least four times...the first being on Easter Sunday.

The man says that she always strikes on weekend mornings. He also claims to be the victim of "malicious fecal distribution."

Strangely enough, the man has not contacted police, fearing that they won't take the complaint seriously, but is hoping news coverage might pressure her to stop. If she doesn't, he may take matters into his own hands: "If it happens again, I'm going to run out there with a hose and hose her down and say, 'Bad human!,'" he said.

The good news here is that the female jogger appears to be regular...which is nice.

**** that.

If she kept shitting on my house I'd spring out with a baseball bat and beat the shit out of her.

[seclark]

Originally Posted by Phobia

No doubt. I allocate 15 minutes for my own ritual. There's usually a little extra my boy, Colin sends down after the first splash.

yep...I can't believe she's not carrying a book w/her while she runs.
sec

[Beef Supreme]

Originally Posted by aturnis

Activia!

I sang that when I read it.

[Beef Supreme]

Originally Posted by Radar Chief

I know, right? /

And couldn't someone have thrown one of those cups of water they hand out on this dude to wash him down?

[seclark]

Originally Posted by BigChiefTablet

And couldn't someone have thrown one of those cups of water they hand out on this dude to wash him down?

I don't think he shit himself...it was probably the guy running in front of him.
sec

[Radar Chief]

Originally Posted by Oxford

I'd set up a lawn sprinker working that area

Motion activated. Now you’re talking.