My close encounter with a big funny-looking dog. - Page 2

**Rain Man** · 12-01-2004, 10:45 PM

My company does a lot of different kinds of work, and one of the things we do involves standing around on street corners watching drivers.

Sometimes they're busy street corners and sometimes they're not, and today I found myself on a very quiet street corner in a residential area in the middle of Colorado Springs. Other than the occasional car, there wasn't much action since it was a little cul-de-sac area.

It was my last stop of the day, and it was getting dark. Visibility was starting to wane pretty badly, especially in areas away from the street light I was camped under.

I'm standing there all bundled up because it's cold outside, and since there aren't a lot of cars driving by I'm thinking about other things like Cheerios and those cow things on the fronts of trains. At some point I snap out of my musings, and all of a sudden something catches my eye. About 75 feet from me, just a silhouette in the darkness, is the biggest freaking dog I've ever not quite seen, standing right in the middle of the street. I kid you not - this thing was up to my chest and was built like a horse. I couldn't see anything but it's shape, but it's head was down and it was dead silent and it was coming toward me, which are three things I don't want to see in a giant dog.

The car's off to my right at about 2 o'clock in airplane terms, about 50 feet away, and it's locked. There's no way I can make a break for it since the shadow dog is coming in basically right off my prow at about 11 o'clock. All I'm holding is a clipboard and pen, and there's nothing handy in the form of rocks or sticks, and I'm really starting to sweat. It keeps moving toward me.

Well, I start sidling to my right, and pull my keys out of my pocket, and just hope that maybe it will hold off until I can sidle all the way to the car. I move right, and move right, and then suddenly I end up with the animal between me and a street light down the block.

It was a freaking deer.

It came another 20 feet or so, and then wandered off to attack a bush. That thing had me scared half to death.

Brando · 12-01-2004, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

A 6 pack? That will get you the first 3 words of a mean sounding email.

go bo · 12-01-2004, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

$1000 to hurt her - $10000 to make her go away.

that sounds very reasonable...

do you offer group discounts?

**Skip Towne** · 12-01-2004, 11:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JennyGump

I had a close encounter with a funny looking dog today too. Except it wasn't a dog, it was a large woman. And it wasn't a "close" encounter, but rather she walked by my office, 29 times today, with bells on her shoes.

If you would like to employ my services, I can send you an email. I hate large women and I'll take her out for you.

Brando · 12-01-2004, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

If you would like to employ my services, I can send you an email. I hate large women and I'll take her out for you.

Would it be more efficient for you to harm her or to have her emotionally crippled by making drunkin' sloppy love to ENDelt?

12-01-2004, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by go bo

that sounds very reasonable...

do you offer group discounts?

Only to your wife. Is your life insurance paid up?

Taco John · 12-01-2004, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rain Man

It's a living.

I'm not knocking it. I'm just trying to figure out what the galactic command has you counting.

**Skip Towne** · 12-01-2004, 11:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brando

Would it be more efficient for you to harm her or to have her emotionally crippled by making drunkin' sloppy love to ENDelt?

I don't think even Endelt does fat women with bells on her shoes. But I could check.

Taco John · 12-01-2004, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

I don't think even Endelt does fat women with bells on her shoes. But I could check.

You underestimate how drunk he gets.

cheeeefs · 12-01-2004, 11:36 PM

yeah Rainman, I'm kind of more interested in why you were on the corner counting cars then about a dumb deer

Brando · 12-01-2004, 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skip Towne

I don't think even Endelt does fat women with bells on her shoes. But I could check.

From what I hear he does the ones with bells on their necks

philfree · 12-01-2004, 11:44 PM

I thought I was gonna get charged by a couple dogs when i was out huntin the other day. They were pretty aggressive and were trying to sneak up on us in the cover we were hunting. They got close enough that I discharged a round in the air and gave'em my "get out of here you mangy mutts". They moved off but never really left the area. I'da blew their freaking heads off if they came any closer. I've come cross strays before while hunting but never dogs that were agressive like these. I figured they belonged to someone close but I'd killed them if they made me.

PhilFree

Pants · 12-02-2004, 12:42 AM

What cow things on the fronts of trains?

12-02-2004, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metrolike

What cow things on the fronts of trains?

A cow catcher, dork. Do you think they put those things on locomotives to make them look racey?

Brando · 12-02-2004, 12:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

A cow catcher, dork. Do you think they put those things on locomotives to make them look racey?

I thought that they were for improving the downforce on the short track.

Pants · 12-02-2004, 12:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phobia

A cow catcher, dork. Do you think they put those things on locomotives to make them look racey?

Pffft. I thought it was for anything in the way of the train, to prevent derailings. Cows just never occured to me. Thanks for clarifying it in a friendly manner, bitch.

12-01-2004, 10:45 PM
Rain Man Seize life. Be an ermine. Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: My house Casino cash: $-472449 VARSITY	My close encounter with a big funny-looking dog. My company does a lot of different kinds of work, and one of the things we do involves standing around on street corners watching drivers. Sometimes they're busy street corners and sometimes they're not, and today I found myself on a very quiet street corner in a residential area in the middle of Colorado Springs. Other than the occasional car, there wasn't much action since it was a little cul-de-sac area. It was my last stop of the day, and it was getting dark. Visibility was starting to wane pretty badly, especially in areas away from the street light I was camped under. I'm standing there all bundled up because it's cold outside, and since there aren't a lot of cars driving by I'm thinking about other things like Cheerios and those cow things on the fronts of trains. At some point I snap out of my musings, and all of a sudden something catches my eye. About 75 feet from me, just a silhouette in the darkness, is the biggest freaking dog I've ever not quite seen, standing right in the middle of the street. I kid you not - this thing was up to my chest and was built like a horse. I couldn't see anything but it's shape, but it's head was down and it was dead silent and it was coming toward me, which are three things I don't want to see in a giant dog. The car's off to my right at about 2 o'clock in airplane terms, about 50 feet away, and it's locked. There's no way I can make a break for it since the shadow dog is coming in basically right off my prow at about 11 o'clock. All I'm holding is a clipboard and pen, and there's nothing handy in the form of rocks or sticks, and I'm really starting to sweat. It keeps moving toward me. Well, I start sidling to my right, and pull my keys out of my pocket, and just hope that maybe it will hold off until I can sidle all the way to the car. I move right, and move right, and then suddenly I end up with the animal between me and a street light down the block. It was a freaking deer. It came another 20 feet or so, and then wandered off to attack a bush. That thing had me scared half to death.
Posts: 145,272

12-01-2004, 11:36 PM	#24
cheeeefs Aishwarya Rai Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Baltimore Casino cash: $10004900	yeah Rainman, I'm kind of more interested in why you were on the corner counting cars then about a dumb deer __________________ "Yeah, I could do it. We both know you wouldn't stop me. Let's think about the logic. You create man, man suffers enormous amounts of pain, man dies. They say you rested on the seventh day, well maybe you should have spent that day on compassion."
Posts: 3,028

12-01-2004, 11:44 PM	#26
philfree Indian Twitter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Free Agency Casino cash: $-2003802	I thought I was gonna get charged by a couple dogs when i was out huntin the other day. They were pretty aggressive and were trying to sneak up on us in the cover we were hunting. They got close enough that I discharged a round in the air and gave'em my "get out of here you mangy mutts". They moved off but never really left the area. I'da blew their freaking heads off if they came any closer. I've come cross strays before while hunting but never dogs that were agressive like these. I figured they belonged to someone close but I'd killed them if they made me. PhilFree __________________ [/SIGPIC]
Posts: 16,102

12-02-2004, 12:42 AM	#27
Pants Time Keeps On Slipping Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Overland Park Casino cash: $3629900	What cow things on the fronts of trains? __________________ "Turn the channel to 26!"
Posts: 27,412

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