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Old 09-09-2008, 02:40 PM  
bobbything bobbything is offline
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Letter from Pats fan to NFL Commish
Didn't see this posted.
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bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.bobbything would the whole thing.
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:34 PM   #16
arrowheadnation arrowheadnation is offline
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Yup...I pictured Matt Damon from The Departed...spot on!
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Things I need to happen in order to die happy....
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The Chiefs win a Super Bowl....FINALLY!!!
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Old 09-09-2008, 03:46 PM   #17
Iowanian Iowanian is online now
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I'm waiting for Bernard Pollard's parody video to Sarah Silverman's "f@ckin matt damon"


Hey Bastan don't you know
I hit tawm brady, pretty low.
I have no shame I hafta hide
I was giving yourface masking RB a pig-back ride.

da da da da da
I f@cked up Tawm Brady...I'm sorray but its tarue.
I facked up Tawm Brady....there was nuthin I could do.

In his chin, for the win..
On his knee, down below from where he pees.
On his back, heard it crack
new england fans had heart attacks...
Now he's down. yes its true
da Pats will suck in '08 too.
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Old 09-09-2008, 04:16 PM   #18
chasedude chasedude is offline
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Quote:
It’s fahhh warse than that 9/11 shit.
The most moronic statement I've seen in a long time.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:53 PM   #19
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Everyone that didn't enjoy that post from KSK is dead to me. That was hilarious.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:55 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
Everyone that didn't enjoy that post from KSK is dead to me. That was hilarious.
Agreed. I laughed my ass off.
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:56 PM   #21
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Reaper16 View Post
Everyone that didn't enjoy that post from KSK is dead to me. That was hilarious.
You'll like this one as well, then.



God Explains Week 1

Many people scoff at the idea that God can control the outcome of sporting events, or that He even cares. But those people are wrong. God does control the games, AND He cares a great deal. Today, He explains why He let the outcomes of Week 1 in the NFL happen as they did.

I made the Eagles of Philadelphia destroy the Rams of St. Louis because the people of St. Louis are not righteous, worshipful people. They are ugly, and dumb, and they overeat far too much for My tastes. I see these people late night, sneaking out of bed and going to snack on the birthday cake they have hidden away in the closet. They disgust me. I made man in My own image, and these people are ruining that ****ing image.

I allowed the Saints of New Orleans to get by the Buccaneers of Tampa Bay because it felt right the right thing to do. I also made Reggie Bush score a TD, because I knew if he had a good game, his girlfriend Kim would do her Godly, girlfriendly duties and ride him like a chariot. That’s the one advantage of being all-seeing and all-knowing: You can watch people **** ALL THE TIME.

I injured Tom Brady’s knee because Tom Brady has not been humble before Me. He has been lying in bed with lascivious women of ill repute. He has imbibed wine. He has eschewed his duties to his church in favor of jetting around the world with his tight-bodied little Brazilian strumpet. And frankly, it’s starting to get on my ****ing nerves. No one should be having more fun than me, dammit. I’m ****ing GOD. That is not right. So I snapped his leg like a little twig. Felt great.

I made the Raiders of Oakland lose because Al Davis is a filthy Jew.

Also, I have abandoned Oakland as a whole. It knows what it did.

I injured Vince Young’s knee and made him go bonkers because Vince Young does not lead the kind of lifestyle I approve of. He dances shirtless. He does not praise Me for his good fortune. Worst of all, he does not pray to Me for guidance, and there is no greater sin. I’ve been watching this game for 100 years. I think I know quite a bit about footwork. But does this little shit ever ask Me what I think about his mechanics? **** that guy.

I allowed the Panthers of Carolina to pull out that miracle win against the Chargers of Saint Diego. And don’t tell me it wasn’t a miracle. It WAS a ****ing miracle. I made it happen, okay? I would know.

I made the Redskins lose against the spread because I made a bet against them with Helen Keller. She still doesn’t know I’m God. I told her I’m Warren Zevon. Easy money. I wish they had kept the point spreads in the back of the Bible, like I had originally commanded.

I made the Bengals of Cincinnati lose to the Ravens of Baltimore because the Bengals are unrepentant sinners. They have stolen. They have lied. They have coveted and known the wives of others. Also, one time, I saw Carson Palmer sneak into a back alley and give this really shifty-looking guy a handjob. Real vigorous one, too. Pretty gross. Had to sneak a peek at Brady taking Gisele to Poundtown to help get that image out of My brain.

I also made the Vikings of Minnesota lose, just because I like to screw with people.

Thanks God! Stick around more divine analysis all year long!
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Old 09-09-2008, 05:57 PM   #22
CoMoChief CoMoChief is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasedude View Post
The most moronic statement I've seen in a long time.
Yeah, funny how people still don't believe 9/11 was an inside job.
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:00 PM   #23
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is offline
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Some one needs to make an avatar of that patch so we can all mourn the loss of Tom Terrific.
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:01 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoMoChief View Post
Yeah, funny how people still don't believe 9/11 was an inside job.
My sarcasm meter isnt working properly, I really hope this was.
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:03 PM   #25
OnTheWarpath15 OnTheWarpath15 is offline
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Some one needs to make an avatar of that patch so we can all mourn the loss of Tom Terrific.
Ask and ye shall receive:
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:08 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chasedude View Post
The most moronic statement I've seen in a long time.
Some people need to grow a sense of humor.
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:14 PM   #27
Reaper16 Reaper16 is offline
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Some people need to grow a sense of humor.
Yeah, really. He didn't even realize that the statement he referred to was given by a character who happens to be obviously moronic.
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Old 09-09-2008, 06:28 PM   #28
Saulbadguy Saulbadguy is offline
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Ask and ye shall receive:
Danke.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:11 PM   #29
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Thats' good.
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Old 09-09-2008, 07:41 PM   #30
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