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#16 |
MONTANA #19
Join Date: Mar 2005
Casino cash: $3717357
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Yup...I pictured Matt Damon from The Departed...spot on!
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Things I need to happen in order to die happy....
KU wins a National Championship....Check! The Royals win a World Series....Check! The Chiefs win a Super Bowl....FINALLY!!! |
Posts: 4,510
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#17 |
Supporter
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Utopia
Casino cash: $1778454
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I'm waiting for Bernard Pollard's parody video to Sarah Silverman's "f@ckin matt damon"
Hey Bastan don't you know I hit tawm brady, pretty low. I have no shame I hafta hide I was giving yourface masking RB a pig-back ride. da da da da da I f@cked up Tawm Brady...I'm sorray but its tarue. I facked up Tawm Brady....there was nuthin I could do. In his chin, for the win.. On his knee, down below from where he pees. On his back, heard it crack new england fans had heart attacks... Now he's down. yes its true da Pats will suck in '08 too. |
Posts: 62,935
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#18 | |
Supporter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: St. Joe
Casino cash: $9994900
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Quote:
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Posts: 36,287
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#19 |
Eat/Sleep/Procrastinate/Repeat
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dystopia
Casino cash: $10017397
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Everyone that didn't enjoy that post from KSK is dead to me. That was hilarious.
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Posts: 33,369
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#20 |
Mammoth penis
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Springfield
Casino cash: $7014386
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Posts: 11,437
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#21 | |
MVP
Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $2181115
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Quote:
God Explains Week 1 Many people scoff at the idea that God can control the outcome of sporting events, or that He even cares. But those people are wrong. God does control the games, AND He cares a great deal. Today, He explains why He let the outcomes of Week 1 in the NFL happen as they did. I made the Eagles of Philadelphia destroy the Rams of St. Louis because the people of St. Louis are not righteous, worshipful people. They are ugly, and dumb, and they overeat far too much for My tastes. I see these people late night, sneaking out of bed and going to snack on the birthday cake they have hidden away in the closet. They disgust me. I made man in My own image, and these people are ruining that ****ing image. I allowed the Saints of New Orleans to get by the Buccaneers of Tampa Bay because it felt right the right thing to do. I also made Reggie Bush score a TD, because I knew if he had a good game, his girlfriend Kim would do her Godly, girlfriendly duties and ride him like a chariot. That’s the one advantage of being all-seeing and all-knowing: You can watch people **** ALL THE TIME. I injured Tom Brady’s knee because Tom Brady has not been humble before Me. He has been lying in bed with lascivious women of ill repute. He has imbibed wine. He has eschewed his duties to his church in favor of jetting around the world with his tight-bodied little Brazilian strumpet. And frankly, it’s starting to get on my ****ing nerves. No one should be having more fun than me, dammit. I’m ****ing GOD. That is not right. So I snapped his leg like a little twig. Felt great. I made the Raiders of Oakland lose because Al Davis is a filthy Jew. Also, I have abandoned Oakland as a whole. It knows what it did. I injured Vince Young’s knee and made him go bonkers because Vince Young does not lead the kind of lifestyle I approve of. He dances shirtless. He does not praise Me for his good fortune. Worst of all, he does not pray to Me for guidance, and there is no greater sin. I’ve been watching this game for 100 years. I think I know quite a bit about footwork. But does this little shit ever ask Me what I think about his mechanics? **** that guy. I allowed the Panthers of Carolina to pull out that miracle win against the Chargers of Saint Diego. And don’t tell me it wasn’t a miracle. It WAS a ****ing miracle. I made it happen, okay? I would know. I made the Redskins lose against the spread because I made a bet against them with Helen Keller. She still doesn’t know I’m God. I told her I’m Warren Zevon. Easy money. I wish they had kept the point spreads in the back of the Bible, like I had originally commanded. I made the Bengals of Cincinnati lose to the Ravens of Baltimore because the Bengals are unrepentant sinners. They have stolen. They have lied. They have coveted and known the wives of others. Also, one time, I saw Carson Palmer sneak into a back alley and give this really shifty-looking guy a handjob. Real vigorous one, too. Pretty gross. Had to sneak a peek at Brady taking Gisele to Poundtown to help get that image out of My brain. I also made the Vikings of Minnesota lose, just because I like to screw with people. Thanks God! Stick around more divine analysis all year long! |
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Posts: 60,746
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#22 |
Mahomes Dynasty
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Parts Unknown
Casino cash: $7672254
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Yeah, funny how people still don't believe 9/11 was an inside job.
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Posts: 39,245
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#23 |
When a nightmare becomes real
Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $736966
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Some one needs to make an avatar of that patch so we can all mourn the loss of Tom Terrific.
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Posts: 47,020
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#24 |
Mammoth penis
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Springfield
Casino cash: $7014386
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Posts: 11,437
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#25 |
MVP
Join Date: Sep 2005
Casino cash: $2181115
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Ask and ye shall receive:
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Posts: 60,746
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#26 |
Hockey Town
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Casino cash: $-542950
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Posts: 115,273
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#27 |
Eat/Sleep/Procrastinate/Repeat
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Dystopia
Casino cash: $10017397
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Yeah, really. He didn't even realize that the statement he referred to was given by a character who happens to be obviously moronic.
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Posts: 33,369
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#28 |
When a nightmare becomes real
Join Date: Nov 2003
Casino cash: $736966
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Posts: 47,020
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#29 |
He's Mahomie!
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Jax, FL
Casino cash: $10023443
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Thats' good.
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Posts: 17,387
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#30 |
Shit Stopper Extraordinaire
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a cupboard
Casino cash: $9964900
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If the US needed an enema Boston is where the tube would go
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Posts: 231
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