Justifying Day Care

[C-Mac]

http://featuresblogs.chicagotribune....justify_d.html
Justifying day care
"As if I don’t already feel guilty for putting my son in day care at the tender age of three months, a new study shows that the more time children spend in center-based care before kindergarten, the more likely they’ll fight, disobey and argue, according to their 6th grade teachers.

The increase in problem behavior was slight, but studies like this inspire me to look for the silver lining. And I always return to the same thing: "the hygiene hypothesis," or the belief that early exposure to germs helps the immune system develop properly.

While most children get six to eight infections a year, children in day care bring home twice that number, or about one a month. Day-care settings --or petri dishes, as my pediatrician calls them-- have high levels of indoor allergens and have been shown to incubate and spread antibiotic resistant bacteria.

This sounds like a no-brainer: Keep your children at home! But since most of us don't have that option--63 percent of U.S. children under the age of five spend 37 hours a week in child care--I manage to get through the work day by reminding myself my kids might turn out healthier in the long run.

Some research bears this out. A 2005 study in the British Medical Journal showed that children who attended day care in the first few months of life are less likely to develop leukemia than children who do not, most likely because they were protected from exposure to common infections. Similar associations have been reported for Type 1diabetes and allergies and asthma in children.

Still, even if they have stronger immune systems, is it worth sending them to day care if they’re going to have behavioral issues that persist at least until 6th grade? That, according to the research, published in the March/April issue of "Child Development," is up to the parents.

The researchers involved with the longest and most comprehensive study of child care in the U.S. cautioned that parenting quality was a much more important predictor of child development than the type, quantity or quality of child care.

Ultimately, while quality day care is important, a quality home environment matters more."



We had to do without some things obviuosly but the wife and I both agreed that her being at home while the children were young, was far more important than her having a career or us having a new car or house. We now get compliments all the time about our kids and their behavior and I truly feel that this is one of the main reasons why. I do understand that not everyone's situation allows mom to stay home(especially single moms), but I do think that there are many cases that if they just tried to live a little simpler, they could pull it off.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

I'm the bastard on this thread, I divorced my first bitch and now only see my boys a total of a couple months a year.

the american dream a wife to cheat on me and two kids to grow up and hate me....

It aint like that. When they are old enough they will figure out what happened and they won't blame you anymore. Until then just be around whenever you can.

[NewChief]

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

I don't think you should have taken my comments in a manner that gave you that impression. I'm not saying that someone else didn't post similar sounding comments, but that's his opinion.

I can't for the life of me find where the overall feeling of this thread implied that people putting kids in daycare were total bastards that didn't love their kids.

Blame that asshole, Simplex3.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by crazycoffey

you're not wasting your time, get your head back up and buck up lil camper.....

you are not in that mold you are trying to put yourself into.

1) it's your life and your children, just do your best.
2) 8-3 isn't as bad as 8-6.
3) coach material makes up for the "distant" parent that never sees, holds, cuddles, reads to, plays with, interacts with thier kids. You don't fit this mold and don't put yourself there. You also shouldn't need me to tell you this.....

I know I'm not in that mold. But from the sounds of some, any amount of daycare is the wrong choice.

The people Simplex should be talking to are the people that work 9a-5p but take their kids at 7am and don't pick them up until 9pm.

[Mr. Plow]

Originally Posted by Mile High Mania

I don't think you should have taken my comments in a manner that gave you that impression. I'm not saying that someone else didn't post similar sounding comments, but that's his opinion.

I can't for the life of me find where the overall feeling of this thread implied that people putting kids in daycare were total bastards that didn't love their kids.

Not from you. One person. I lumped everyone else in. My bad.

[jAZ]

My wife and I just had our first son, who's now 15 weeks old. I went back to work after 1 week. She went back to work after 6 weeks. We both are able to work from home and tag-team on care. When she has to go into the office, if I'm not able to be at home at that time, she is able to take him with her.

This will probably only last until the fall (9 months old). Then she will probably have to work part of the day in the office. I imagine we will have to look into a nanny, or day care part of the day.

Either way, I'm HUGELY fortunate to have a work/life arrangement that permits me to be at home helping raise my son each day.

[eazyb81]

Originally Posted by Simplex3

Are you even dating anyone seriously?

My guess is you're under 25 and have never even been engaged. It's just a guess, though.

For the record, I am in my mid-twenties and have been in a serious relationship for the past few years now. No I don't have kids, but we have talked about it and how we will raise them. Simply ignoring the comments/opinions of anyone that doesn't have kids is highly ignorant, and makes me feel stronger in my beliefs.

Personally, I don't understand why this situation has to be so black and white - can't you have a career AND have normal, well-behaved kids that you see on a fairly regular basis? Some of you act like putting kids in daycare for any amount of time is the first step in raising a degenerate sociopath.

[Demonpenz]

I am sure when you are old you will forget all those shitty hours at wor but you will never forget the days when the kids were young.

[Mile High Mania]

Originally Posted by eazyb81

For the record, I am in my mid-twenties and have been in a serious relationship for the past few years now. No I don't have kids, but we have talked about it and how we will raise them. Simply ignoring the comments/opinions of anyone that doesn't have kids is highly ignorant, and makes me feel stronger in my beliefs.

Personally, I don't understand why this situation has to be so black and white - can't you have a career AND have normal, well-behaved kids that you see on a fairly regular basis? Some of you act like putting kids in daycare for any amount of time is the first step in raising a degenerate sociopath.

I'll let Simplex fight the majority of that battle, but I don't think any of the others are suggesting what you typed in your last comment. I think the norm for most families is daycare for several reasons.

I put in bold the comment that made me chuckle... why would it make you feel stronger? Highly ignorant?

[Mile High Mania]

The comments on this thread made me do some googling... and as I did this, I've figured out that we don't do "daycare", it's "preschool".

Several of the comments on the "downside" list at this site are incredibly lame. There are some good points for either, but lots of BS too.

http://www.babys-first-year.com/baby...-and-cons.html

Another comparison:
http://www.babycenter.com/general/5937.html

----

In the end, it's all about balance and what's best for the kid(s) in your specific situation.

[tooge]

It really boils down to this. Numerous longitudinal studies have demonstrated that the basis of the inate bond between a parent and a child occurs from birth up until the age of three or four. Of course, lots of bonding occurs thereafter, but the trust and confidence in one another is built at that time. These formative years, it is absolutely importatn that children spend as much time with mom and dad as possible. Yeah, kids may do fine in school and not get as sick yada yada, but having a trusting relationship with ones children is more important, because I for one would rather have my kids listen to my advice (at all ages) rather that that of their peers. Too much time in daycre will have them (according to these studies) trust the advice of theri peers rather than their parents. These studies also support the same evidence with single parent families. I was fortunate to be able to have my wife stay hame with both kids, but if I hadnt, we would have either cut back or waited until we could afford it. Not saying this is the only way, but the only way for us.

[bogie]

Originally Posted by Simplex3

Why did you have them if you're going to see them 2 hours a day and have someone else raise them? Justify it to yourself any way you'd like but you spend about 1/3 as much time with your child as the daycare lady does. They're more her kids than yours. You can keep congratulating yourselves on finding a provider that mimics you (or what you wish you were), though.

I'll respond to this before I read the entire thread. Shut the fuck up!

[bogie]

Well I had to stop reading the thread. The more I read the more I got pissed. I can't believe how many judgemental people are on here. Just because something works for you, does not mean it works for everyone else.

[KC Kings]

Originally Posted by Mr. Plow

Those of you with stay at home mom's, what happens when they are going to school for 8 hours a day? Is that wasting time with them? Should you home school?

What happens then? The wife realizes that she might have to get a job and go to work everyday, and she tricks you into having another baby.
My kids are 7, 5, and 5 months.

Seriously though, my wife volunteers at school, is involved with all of the school and extra activities, and most importantly has my dinner ready and waiting on me when I get home from work every night.

Every situation is unique. Even if 90% of the wifes income goes to paying for childcare, there are lots of people in the world where that extra 10% makes the difference between choosing groceries or paying the electric bill. I would gladly trade my mom staying home, in exchange for me not having to wear ProWings and Rustlers to school.

There are a lot of selfish parents, including friends and co-workers of mine, that choose to put their kids in day care so they can continue to support their 3-car garage 3,000 sq ft house payments, furnished with Crate and Barrel furniture. These are the same people that take a day off of work, but leave their kids in day care. Why have kids? Because the Jones have kids, and they make such cute family Christmas pictures.

People keep looking at the one extreme of crappy parenting that involves day care, and try to apply it to everybody that has kids in day care.

[KC Kings]

Originally Posted by bogie

Well I had to stop reading the thread. The more I read the more I got pissed. I can't believe how many judgemental people are on here. Just because I don't love my kids as much as you do and would rather make money than memories, you have no right to judge my selfishness.

Fixed your post. You'll really be pissed now!

[bogie]

Originally Posted by KC Kings

Fixed your post. You'll really be pissed now!

I going to assume that's sarcasm.