Pocket Taser Stun Gun

Chiefs Express · 10:44 AM

Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife? This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "Pocket Taser" for their anniversary.

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni.

What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two
triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND
pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue
arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on
the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it
couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting
little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really
needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must
admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and
thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to
give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did
want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long,
less than 3/4" in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with
two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries thinking to myself, "no possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst
from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided
to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the
prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER,
WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@*!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me
up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and
over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal
position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire,
testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!"

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one
note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when
you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative.

SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure,
as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what
little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading
glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get
there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching.
My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip
weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return.

Still in shock.

Brock · 01-25-2006, 10:35 AM

That font renders this unreadable.

Chiefs Express · 01-25-2006, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brock

That font renders this unreadable.

edited

Demonpenz · 01-25-2006, 12:29 PM

cliff notes plz

sedated · 01-25-2006, 12:37 PM

shouldn't this go in the confessions thread?

"I am a moron..."

(but good story)

Chiefs Express · 01-25-2006, 01:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sedated

shouldn't this go in the confessions thread?

"I am a moron..."

(but good story)

I didn't put in the confessions thread because it wasn't me. If it had of been me I wouldn't have spread it around Morons are probably smarter than this guy is/was. He might be a future candidate for the Darwin Awards.

Fat Elvis · 01-25-2006, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefs Express

I didn't put in the confessions thread because it wasn't me. If it had of been me I wouldn't have spread it around Morons are probably smarter than this guy is/was. He might be a future candidate for the Darwin Awards.

It was a whole lot funnier when I thought it was you....

BIG_DADDY · 01-25-2006, 01:21 PM

I just found a 300k volt flashlight taser for $50.

BIG_DADDY · 01-25-2006, 01:24 PM

300,000 Volt Flashlight Stun Gun

This Taser is unbelievable! When you hit the zap button, the electric bolt shoots back and forth between the main bolts and also shoots all the way all the down all 5 metal dots on the head on the flashlight and then shoots over and across the 2 large metal plates (with the red lightning bolts)! If your attacker were to grab this Taser they would get the shock of their life. When you hold the button down continuously on this Taser it shocks at full force for well over a a minute. The best thing is that it's Rechargable!!! You can shock it every day and never have to buy batteries. With a normal Taser, you need to replace the batteries each time you use it. This can be expensive not to mention that when you need your Taser some day, the chances of having a fresh batteries it are not good. With this Rechargable Taser you can throw it on the charger every week or two just like your cell phone and your good to go.

This Taser has a unique safety feature on the bottom. If someone were to grab this Taser from you, all you have to do is catch your finger on the rip cords or grab the easy to grip key, and it will pull out a secret pin that completes the circute in your Taser and renders it useless. This is a good thing because you don't want to get shocked with this thing.

This Taser also has a super bright flashlight! Comes with a handy cover that act as a safety plus disguises your Taser as a harmless flashlight.

Trust be when I say, when you see it go off you will have no temptation to shock yourself with it just to see how it feels. You would literally be unable to move for over 10 minutes. This item comes brand new in the box and includes a zippered carrying case. Ship within 24 hours!

Email me for a video of this Taser going off!!!

The price is $50. I can't go any lower. You can pick up in Santa Rosa or I can ship it for $6.95. I only have one left.

Chiefs Express · 01-25-2006, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

300,000 Volt Flashlight Stun Gun

This Taser is unbelievable! When you hit the zap button, the electric bolt shoots back and forth between the main bolts and also shoots all the way all the down all 5 metal dots on the head on the flashlight and then shoots over and across the 2 large metal plates (with the red lightning bolts)! If your attacker were to grab this Taser they would get the shock of their life. When you hold the button down continuously on this Taser it shocks at full force for well over a a minute. The best thing is that it's Rechargable!!! You can shock it every day and never have to buy batteries. With a normal Taser, you need to replace the batteries each time you use it. This can be expensive not to mention that when you need your Taser some day, the chances of having a fresh batteries it are not good. With this Rechargable Taser you can throw it on the charger every week or two just like your cell phone and your good to go.

This Taser has a unique safety feature on the bottom. If someone were to grab this Taser from you, all you have to do is catch your finger on the rip cords or grab the easy to grip key, and it will pull out a secret pin that completes the circute in your Taser and renders it useless. This is a good thing because you don't want to get shocked with this thing.

This Taser also has a super bright flashlight! Comes with a handy cover that act as a safety plus disguises your Taser as a harmless flashlight.

Trust be when I say, when you see it go off you will have no temptation to shock yourself with it just to see how it feels. You would literally be unable to move for over 10 minutes. This item comes brand new in the box and includes a zippered carrying case. Ship within 24 hours!

Email me for a video of this Taser going off!!!

The price is $50. I can't go any lower. You can pick up in Santa Rosa or I can ship it for $6.95. I only have one left.

I'd have to see a video of it being tested first. You can try to do it like the guy in the other story. Might make for a good video. Send it to AFV too.

Chiefs Express · 01-25-2006, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fat Elvis

It was a whole lot funnier when I thought it was you....

I have very little common sense, but I do posess a fear of pain. I'd never do that to myself. Maybe one of the kids if Mom wasn't around.

BIG_DADDY · 01-25-2006, 04:58 PM

Just bought this one for lil momma

http://www.actionstunguns.com/stungunblackcobra800.htm

Chiefs Express · 01-25-2006, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

Just bought this one for lil momma

http://www.actionstunguns.com/stungunblackcobra800.htm

Do they have a quantity discount?

BIG_DADDY · 01-25-2006, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chiefs Express

Do they have a quantity discount?

What do you want more than 1 for? It's only $61 and that includes shipping.

elvomito · 01-25-2006, 05:37 PM

this story is exaggerated
i've shocked people and also been shocked with 500k and 650k guns.
it feels like someone is pinching you with red-hot pliers.
you'd have to hold that thing on yourself for quite a while to get the effects that guy described, and with something a lot more powerful.

01-25-2006, 10:33 AM
Chiefs Express Banned Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: 3rd Rock from the Sun Casino cash: $10004900	Pocket Taser Stun Gun Pocket Taser Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife? This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "Pocket Taser" for their anniversary. Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Toni. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized taser. The effects of the taser were suppose to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-a batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Toni what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave. Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-a batteries,. right?!!! There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong? So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries. All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4" in circumference; pretty cute really and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-a batteries thinking to myself, "no possible way!" What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best..... I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, "don't do it master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.. I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY MOTHER, WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION@!@$$!%!@!!! I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face, undoubtedly thinking to herself, "do it again, do it again!" Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three second burst would be considered conservative. SON-OF-A-.. that hurt like hell!!! A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they up get there??? My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I'm still looking for my testicles? I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return. Still in shock. Last edited by Chiefs Express; 01-25-2006 at 10:44 AM..*
Posts: 1,974

01-25-2006, 10:35 AM	#2
Brock Say hello to my little friend Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Larryville Casino cash: $9598422	That font renders this unreadable.
Posts: 47,314

01-25-2006, 12:29 PM	#4
Demonpenz Woman should only make babies Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Apartment "G UNIT!" Casino cash: $-213864	cliff notes plz __________________
Posts: 54,943

01-25-2006, 01:21 PM	#8
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $2568410	I just found a 300k volt flashlight taser for $50. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,522

01-25-2006, 01:24 PM	#9
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $2568410	300,000 Volt Flashlight Stun Gun This Taser is unbelievable! When you hit the zap button, the electric bolt shoots back and forth between the main bolts and also shoots all the way all the down all 5 metal dots on the head on the flashlight and then shoots over and across the 2 large metal plates (with the red lightning bolts)! If your attacker were to grab this Taser they would get the shock of their life. When you hold the button down continuously on this Taser it shocks at full force for well over a a minute. The best thing is that it's Rechargable!!! You can shock it every day and never have to buy batteries. With a normal Taser, you need to replace the batteries each time you use it. This can be expensive not to mention that when you need your Taser some day, the chances of having a fresh batteries it are not good. With this Rechargable Taser you can throw it on the charger every week or two just like your cell phone and your good to go. This Taser has a unique safety feature on the bottom. If someone were to grab this Taser from you, all you have to do is catch your finger on the rip cords or grab the easy to grip key, and it will pull out a secret pin that completes the circute in your Taser and renders it useless. This is a good thing because you don't want to get shocked with this thing. This Taser also has a super bright flashlight! Comes with a handy cover that act as a safety plus disguises your Taser as a harmless flashlight. Trust be when I say, when you see it go off you will have no temptation to shock yourself with it just to see how it feels. You would literally be unable to move for over 10 minutes. This item comes brand new in the box and includes a zippered carrying case. Ship within 24 hours! Email me for a video of this Taser going off!!! The price is $50. I can't go any lower. You can pick up in Santa Rosa or I can ship it for $6.95. I only have one left. __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,522

01-25-2006, 04:58 PM	#12
BIG_DADDY THE RED MENACE Join Date: Aug 2000 Location: Texas Casino cash: $2568410	Just bought this one for lil momma http://www.actionstunguns.com/stungunblackcobra800.htm __________________ The diabolical genius of Marxism-Socialism is that it provides the emotional and intellectual road map for autocrats to persuade millions of people to support their own enslavement to government. ~Mark Levin April 15, 2019
Posts: 32,522

01-25-2006, 05:37 PM	#15
elvomito ☻☺ Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: ♠█♠ Casino cash: $10004900	this story is exaggerated i've shocked people and also been shocked with 500k and 650k guns. it feels like someone is pinching you with red-hot pliers. you'd have to hold that thing on yourself for quite a while to get the effects that guy described, and with something a lot more powerful.
Posts: 2,362

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