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Old 05-04-2008, 06:53 PM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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*OFFICIAL* relationship advice thread

All the Slayer talk in the Stevieray thread made long for the days when Slayer would help everyone out with their lady problems. Since he's disappeared, I figure the Planet needs another one-stop-shop for relationship advice, so who more qualified than I to pick up the mantle Slayer has cast aside?

Having trouble with the ladies? Are you in the wife's doghouse? Just plain unlucky in love altogether? You've come to the right place.

Dr. GoLove is in the house.
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Old 05-04-2008, 08:54 PM   #16
stlchiefs stlchiefs is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOATSE View Post
All the Slayer talk in the Stevieray thread made long for the days when Slayer would help everyone out with their lady problems. Since he's disappeared, I figure the Planet needs another one-stop-shop for relationship advice, so who more qualified than I to pick up the mantle Slayer has cast aside?

Having trouble with the ladies? Are you in the wife's doghouse? Just plain unlucky in love altogether? You've come to the right place.

Dr. GoLove is in the house.
Goatse, researching for his latest Dr. GoLove column.
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Old 05-04-2008, 08:54 PM   #17
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rad View Post
You must be high.

he's on the butthash
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Old 05-04-2008, 09:01 PM   #18
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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My advice is to avoid relationships at all costs.

Probably the only advice I could give that I actually follow.
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Old 05-04-2008, 09:04 PM   #19
58-4ever 58-4ever is offline
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I need advise on how to avoid taking advise whose advice might be clouded by the advice of his sexually attractive mother, whose advise is somewhat deceived by me...because I'm having regular sexual intercourse with her.
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Old 05-04-2008, 09:11 PM   #20
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueballs View Post
my sheep doll
is starting smell really funky
Run it through the wash and spritz a little febreeze. Also, fresh-air hang-drying seems to work wonders.
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:43 AM   #21
BWillie BWillie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
My advice is to avoid relationships at all costs.

Probably the only advice I could give that I actually follow.
I have no idea how to actually get into a relationship. Not that I'm trying by any means but I don't even see it presenting itself. I'm now 25 years old, and EVERYBODY is stunned why I haven't had an actual tangible relationship in the last couple years. They always ask me why am I single?

The answer..I like to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, under my own conditions. Having a GF is like having a mother. They always keep tabs on you and yell at you at all costs. I go nuts after about a few weeks of seriously seeing each other. Maybe I'm just one of the most selfish human beings on the face of the planet though. I'm not sure
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:45 AM   #22
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BWillie007 View Post
I have no idea how to actually get into a relationship. Not that I'm trying by any means but I don't even see it presenting itself. I'm now 25 years old, and EVERYBODY is stunned why I haven't had an actual tangible relationship in the last couple years. They always ask me why am I single?

The answer..I like to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, under my own conditions. Having a GF is like having a mother. They always keep tabs on you and yell at you at all costs. I go nuts after about a few weeks of seriously seeing each other. Maybe I'm just one of the most selfish human beings on the face of the planet though. I'm not sure
or you could just be really ****ing ugly
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:48 AM   #23
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BWillie007 View Post
The answer..I like to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to do it, under my own conditions. Having a GF is like having a mother. They always keep tabs on you and yell at you at all costs. I go nuts after about a few weeks of seriously seeing each other. Maybe I'm just one of the most selfish human beings on the face of the planet though. I'm not sure
I could pretty much copy-and-paste all of that.

I've been married, a relationship that lasted a total of 6 years, and to this day I don't know wtf I was thinking. Not that there aren't positive points to having a steady chick, but life seems so much less complicated and so much more enjoyable this way.

And kids. God. I'm way too selfish to even contemplate that. It would be a disaster. I'd be the worst dad ever. "Take yourself to soccer practice, I have a raid going. Oh, right, you're six, you can't drive. Well, if you want to play that bad, prove it and walk".
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:48 AM   #24
keg in kc keg in kc is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J Diddy View Post
or you could just be really ****ing ugly
Ugly doesn't prevent female attachment. I reiterate that I've been married.
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Old 05-05-2008, 12:50 AM   #25
J Diddy J Diddy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keg in kc View Post
Ugly doesn't prevent female attachment. I reiterate that I've been married.

unless you are conway twitty

ugly prevents quality female attachment
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J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.J Diddy is obviously part of the inner Circle.
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Old 05-05-2008, 01:37 AM   #26
Chiefs=Good Chiefs=Good is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GOATSE View Post
All the Slayer talk in the Stevieray thread made long for the days when Slayer would help everyone out with their lady problems. Since he's disappeared, I figure the Planet needs another one-stop-shop for relationship advice, so who more qualified than I to pick up the mantle Slayer has cast aside?

Having trouble with the ladies? Are you in the wife's doghouse? Just plain unlucky in love altogether? You've come to the right place.

Dr. GoLove is in the house.

Goatse:
"You see, the key to a successful marriage is much like eating an orange."

Us:
"If i wanted to see a man eat an orange i would have taken thr orange eating class."

A simpsons quote for those noobs out there...
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Old 05-05-2008, 04:52 AM   #27
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Old 05-05-2008, 06:08 AM   #28
DaKCMan AP DaKCMan AP is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BWillie007 View Post
Having a GF is like having a mother. They always keep tabs on you and yell at you at all costs.
Not true in all cases.
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Old 05-05-2008, 09:02 AM   #29
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Old 05-05-2008, 09:32 AM   #30
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