Man's blunt obituary goes viral

[DenverChief]

I think I might want to have an obit like this

DENVER - Michael Blanchard's life is becoming one of the most shared topics on the internet.


He wasn't a popular man until his obit showed up in the Denver Post.
That's where the man known as "Flathead" was remembered as a stubborn man who loved booze, younger women and cars "until the day that he died."


The eulogy printed in Thursday's edition didn't stop there.


It says Blanchard died "as a result of being stubborn and refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades."
It also listed his cat "Chopper" among his sons, described childhood friends as growing up to become criminals, prostitutes, and/or Democrats.
Blanchard lived his life in the metro area, and died nearly a year ago from colon cancer.


His family decided to wait until now to have his memorial and just placed the obit.


Blanchard himself wrote a rough draft of how he wanted to be remembered, and his family put the finishing touches on it.
His memorial will be held on Saturday, but the obit recommended against bringing children because the stories he can no longer tell will probably contain adult material.


His full obituary in The Denver Post reads:


"A Celebration of the life of Michael "Flathead" Blanchard will be held on April 14, 3 p.m. 8160 Rosemary St, Commerce City. Weary of reading obituaries noting someone's courageous battle with death, Mike wanted it known that he died as a result of being stubborn, refusing to follow doctors' orders and raising hell for more than six decades. He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.


"Mike was born July 1944 in Colorado to Clyde and Ethel Blanchard. A community activist, he is noted for saving the Dr. Justina Ford house from demolition and defending those who could not defend themselves. He was a Republican delegate, life member of the NRA, founder and President of the Dead Cats MC. He loved music.


"Mike was preceded in death by Clyde and Ethel Blanchard, survived by his beloved sons Mike and Chopper, former wife Jane Transue, brother Stephen Blanchard (Susan), Uncle Don and Aunt Cynthia Blanchard(his favorite); Uncle Dill and Aunt Dot, cousins and nephews, Baba Yaga can kiss his butt. So many of his childhood friends that weren't killed in Vietnam went on to become criminals, prostitutes and/or Democrats. He asks that you stop by and re-tell the stories he can no longer tell. As the Celebration will contain Adult material we respectfully ask that no children under 18 attend."

http://www.9news.com/news/article/26...ry-goes-viral-

[scott free]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I thought that post was better than one ****ing laugh

Yep, he's right Bowser, that post was right up there with the old 'penz mustard...

FIX IT NOW!

[Demonpenz]

Originally Posted by scott free

Yep, he's right Bowser, that post was right up there with the old 'penz mustard...

FIX IT NOW!

Harrumph back in my day we liked our woman fat and our penz wacky

[Phobia]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

I thought that post was better than one ****ing laugh

I saw that Bowser was the last poster so I figured there wasn't anything worth reading in here. But I'm glad I clicked in. I think I will throw you some rep or something like that.

[Demonpenz]

haha nice...Poor Brown Shorts mcgee

[LVNHACK]

Originally Posted by KCrockaholic

Would be pretty cool if the world was more honest like this.

Few people really enjoy honesty....

[Fat Elvis]

Originally Posted by Demonpenz

Here at Demonpenz services we have 3 default obits to satisfy your dead Chiefsplanet members dreams of being dead, but being maxed out on Rep

1 (Planet member) used ball powder, survived tornados, wouldn't have drafted Dexter so high, **** KU. He was ever so loving of Rich Scanlon. He is survived by his dogs Zubaz pants


2 (planet member) Was the life of the party at (chiefs tailgate-nzoner bash-random event) Unfortunately couldn't make it to the springfield party. he/she will always be remembered for the smile on their face, and their refusal to accept that you need a franchise QB to win a superbowl. He/She loved cats, often took life in stride with a grammer mistake here and there, and proudly claimed "Your an Idiot!" after someone posted that import cars are better than Chevy Cameros.

3: Rock Chalk Jayhawk (Chiefsplanet member) Also loved the Yankees and other front runners. Originally from Missouri he/she dabbled quite heavily in meth until being arrested for stealing painkillers from CVS in 04. He/She will proudly be remembered for having a helping hand in delivering lethal doses of Antifreeze to animals. He/She also loved his/her family. Jim/James/Jim and often called him by his nickname "Dad" He/She will be burried in a "Big Johnson shirt" with custom letters on it that say "TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP!"

4: (Chiefsplanet member) Often trolled with great delight as he sat around wondering why his/her life was so bad, often calling girls "slam pieces" he/she never grew up and always talked about banging 10's and driving a Star Wars painted Van. His right hand has been cut off after death and been sent in to scientists to see if it in fact is the most ****ed hand in the history of man kind. The people who knew him called him a Dreamer, a talker, and a person who was alive at one point in time.

I now understand what "to the ship" means.....

[mikeyis4dcats.]

Originally Posted by Phobia

Yeah, I've read some complete crap in obits. For example a guy a couple years younger than me - younger brother of a classmate recently offed himself. His obit contained such gems as the following: "xxxxx's joy and enthusiasm for life and love for others is legendary, but nothing when compared to his love for and devotion to his son, yyyyyyy. yyyyyyy was the center of xxxxx's world and xxxxx committed to fatherhood with the same passion he brought to everything."

Yeah. Don't think so. Not when you bump yourself off. Clearly the son was the LAST of his concerns.

Having personal experience with this, my brother was a very caring and helpful person. He would do anything for you, and did a lot to help those he barely knew. He was resoundingly loved by our co-workers and those who knew him. He was very good-natured and always had a joke or a smile. He was THE parent, always at my niece's school functions, taking her to appointments, working overtime to provide her things she needed and wanted. He had a daughter he loved immensely, and a woman he wanted to be his ex-wife that was making his and his daughter's lives so miserable, he mis-guidedly thought that if he killed himself it would relieve my niece's life of the turmoil and hatred. Unfortunately he was very wrong. Just because someone makes a rash and terrible decision to end their life, for whatever reason, it doesn't change all of the things in their life to that point. It was very clear in the letters he left myself and my parents that in his mind what he did was in his estimation the best thing for my niece. Don't discount someone's love for their child or their family, despite choices they sometimes make. I'm sure if he could take it back, he would. He would see the folly of his ways, but that's not how it works.

[Rausch]

Damn, was that our boy over on the Mane?....