One of my colleagues from college married a former student of his

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

Okay, I this is a personal subject for you and it explains your responses. I am pretty sure that neither myself nor SNR expressed the belief that an age difference, in itself, is grounds for not pursuing a relationship. This particular discussion stems from concerns about the unique, difficult issues relating to the power and influence someone in a relationship with a student or even former student could face.

That is all. It is not being played up as a monstrous thing, it's just a tricky situation that only partially pertains to the ages of those involved.

And no, I didn't jump on you because of your intent, I jumped on you because I can't make four posts on this ****ing forum without someone helpfully bringing up an incredibly personal, painful facet of my life that I shared in a time of desperation seven years ago. I AM AWARE. MY VIEWPOINT IS INFORMED BY MY EXPERIENCES AS A TRANS PERSON. Thank you ever so much for your edifying contribution.

you made it an age thing when you brought that one of upi favorite professors was skeeving on you and a few other classmates, and he's got a younger-by-a-decade wifeup the younger by the decade bit in your first post in here. This is what I was making all my comments in regards to.

Then then showed surprised at your reaction about the situation in OP. I honestly thought you would have been more sympathetic seeing that they are geting married and she hasn't been his student in 2 years. I honestly thought you would withhold judgement and see it for wat it looks like on its face. 2 peeps fell in love, tehy waited until she was no longer a student... then game on.

I was wrong in how I thought you would see this situation.

[Ultra Peanut]

Originally Posted by pr_capone

you made it an age thing when you brought that one of upi favorite professors was skeeving on you and a few other classmates, and he's got a younger-by-a-decade wifeup the younger by the decade bit in your first post in here. This is what I was making all my comments in regards to.

Then then showed surprised at your reaction about the situation in OP. I honestly thought you would have been more sympathetic seeing that they are geting married and she hasn't been his student in 2 years. I honestly thought you would withhold judgement and see it for wat it looks like on its face. 2 peeps fell in love, tehy waited until she was no longer a student... then game on.

I was wrong in how I thought you would see this situation.

a) The combination of his behavior around female students (not that it was outright bad, just that I kind of got the vibe he was maybe not solely platonically interested) and the fact that his wife was slightly older than me was enough to give me pause. Note that I also stated that I did my best to disregard these thoughts that were in the back of my mind because I enjoyed his classes a lot and he seemed like a swell guy and he never crossed any lines of professionalism, from what I could tell.

b) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My trans history is not a bargaining chip to be used in an argument, is not a tool for you to use to stifle my expression of completely ****ing ordinary human emotions, and is not something you can point to to try to predict my reaction to wholly unrelated topics.

It's not something I actively use to contextualize every single issue I consider, and it sure as **** isn't something to be treated as my only defining characteristic. Which is what you are doing when you casually toss it around when I'm discussing complicated social interactions or terrible white safeties or the World Badminton Cup.

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

a) The combination of his behavior around female students (not that it was outright bad, just that I kind of got the vibe he was maybe not solely platonically interested) and the fact that his wife was slightly older than me was enough to give me pause. Note that I also stated that I did my best to disregard these thoughts that were in the back of my mind because I enjoyed his classes a lot and he seemed like a swell guy and he never crossed any lines of professionalism, from what I could tell.

b) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

My trans history is not a bargaining chip to be used in an argument, is not a tool for you to use to stifle my expression of completely ****ing ordinary human emotions, and is not something you can point to to try to predict my reaction to wholly unrelated topics.

It's not something I actively use to contextualize every single issue I consider, and it sure as **** isn't something to be treated as my only defining characteristic. Which is whatwe you are doing when you casually toss it around when I'm discussing complicated social interactions or terrible white safeties or the World Badminton Cup.

Itbwas never my attempt nor desire to stifle you in any way but to engage in conversation based on my thought process on the subject. Then when you went all icon I was surprised because that is not how I expected you to react because you had been in a situation yourself where you were going against societies expectation of you. I thought you might show empathy and understanding. Instead you showed me quite the opposite and you are more than welcome to that oppinion. My gay and tranny friends, I don't think, would have reacted in the same way as you did so I definitely misjudged your reaction.

At least to me, there seems to be very little to be concerned about if they are in love and getting married. Life is hard enough, married life doubly so, without the world shitting on you. I'm 2 ambient in and steadily plowing coherence so I'm done here.

I hope these twobqre happy with one another and do the fairy tale happy ever after ending. **** the naysayers. As long as she isn't his student anymore and they are both willing... More power to them.

[TimeForWasp]

I so horny

[Dayze]

pics or GTFO

[BillSelfsTrophycase]

Originally Posted by Dayze

pics or GTFO

This

[RealSNR]

[Dayze]

Originally Posted by SNR

he's ok looking. but I wouldn't **** him.

[Dayze]

if you truly respected your collegue, you'd post pics.
bastard.

[Ultra Peanut]

You know how upsetting and intensely personal this subject is for you? Now imagine it's the most painful thing you've ever dealt with in your entire life, and then imagine that people brought it up all the time, completely at random, simply because they remembered that about you -- and that they frequently brought it up to try to score points when they disagreed with you. That is why my responses to you have been so clipped and annoyed.

Also?

Originally Posted by pr_capone

I thought you might show empathy and understanding. Instead you showed me quite the opposite and you are more than welcome to that oppinion. My gay and tranny friends, I don't think, would have reacted in the same way as you did so I definitely misjudged your reaction.

Acting like people who face open bigotry on a regular basis have an obligation to act in a certain way as a result of having faced said bigotry is unbelievably absurd.

[Simply Red]

I'm entirely lost, but i'm just going to say - I'm not sure, for now.

hey thanks a lot guys!

[pr_capone]

Originally Posted by Ultra Peanut

You know how upsetting and intensely personal this subject is for you? Now imagine it's the most painful thing you've ever dealt with in your entire life, and then imagine that people brought it up all the time, completely at random, simply because they remembered that about you -- and that they frequently brought it up to try to score points when they disagreed with you. That is why my responses to you have been so clipped and annoyed.

Also?


Acting like people who face open bigotry on a regular basis have an obligation to act in a certain way as a result of having faced said bigotry is unbelievably absurd.

Oh ****ing WHAAAAAH. You aren't obligated to act any specific way... you just didn't act the way I anticipated you would based on your experience based on my how the people I know in similar shoes would have acted.

I wasn't trying to score points against you... I was trying to have a conversation, not win an argument. I can understand why you are defensive about it, or maybe I don't... who the **** knows with you. Not everyone you talk to on here is trying to beat you over the head with it. Tell you what though... you "win". This argument that this shit turned into is all yours. You can treasure it as the day you beat down the guy that thought you just might be be more understanding of others doing nothing wrong yet doing something socially unacceptable because it made them happy and complete because of your personal experience.

/10 internets for you

[Dayze]

I 100% agree. wait...wut?

[Mojo Jojo]

One of my best friends in grade school parents met while he was the college teacher and she was his student. Ironic thing....my former mother in law was class mates with her at that time.

[Cheater5]

Meh. No big deal really. Two adults when they met, and two adults when they wed. This isn't like he was bird-dogging this chick when she was underage, and just biding his time.