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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Count Zarth; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:44 AM   #31
wazu wazu is offline
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Leave my hometown OUTTA this. Assholes!
Good call. Wouldn't want it to be associated with anything that isn't crystal meth.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:46 AM   #32
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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unmoved. long live king pioli!
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:48 AM   #33
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This, along with Afcasselstan, are brilliant.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:50 AM   #34
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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unmoved. long live king pioli!
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:51 AM   #35
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
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Someone post a mitt Romney video so this will get moved to d.c.
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Old 07-21-2012, 09:51 AM   #36
L.A. Chieffan L.A. Chieffan is offline
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that movie sucked
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:22 AM   #37
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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Oh, and since some fool loyal to the crown will inevitably come around and defend Cassel based on his play against 8-8 teams (5-7):

2008: 1-1
2009: 1-2 (Jamaal Charles goes HAM against Denver)
2010: 1-2 (200 yards rushing + Dwayne Bowe beast mode + 18 pass attempts)
2011: 2-2 (includes win over Kyle Boller, Monday Night Miracle, and home loss to Tim Tebow)

Further information: Cassel's 4th quarter comebacks are a complete joke. Only two of these are legitimate - vs Pit and Indy.

http://www.pro-football-reference.co...layer=CassMa00

Another shitty stat: Cassel is 15-15 in home starts (.500), and has 10 wins at home as Chiefs quarterback in THREE ****ING YEARS.

He has a losing record at home as our quarterback. (10-12)

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Old 07-21-2012, 10:31 AM   #38
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Holy shit you have no life.
maybe, but it was still awesome
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:34 AM   #39
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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maybe, but it was still awesome
It took me about seven hours to compile and format all the information, plus epic photoshop. Well worth it, and Zach is a fat bitch and suspected Cassel Apologist/Patriot Way Sympathizer.
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:35 AM   #40
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Old 07-21-2012, 10:38 AM   #41
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It took me about seven hours to compile and format all the information, plus epic photoshop. Well worth it, and Zach is a fat bitch and suspected Cassel Apologist/Patriot Way Sympathizer.
That seven hours will save me hundreds of hours this fall trying to articulate just how worthless Cassel is, and why Pioli should be fired if the Chiefs fail to win a playoff game this year and finish the season with Matt still at QB.

Thank you.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:01 AM   #42
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:04 AM   #43
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It took me about seven hours to compile and format all the information, plus epic photoshop. Well worth it, and Zach is a fat bitch and suspected Cassel Apologist/Patriot Way Sympathizer.
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I would read an entire blog of SNR breaking down athletes' musical capabilities like draft scouting reports.
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:23 AM   #44
Count Zarth Count Zarth is offline
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This is the least I could do after I wrote all that bullshit about Cassel during the 2009 offseason.

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Originally Posted by The Deceived
Here's what I think about Cassel vs Green.

Accuracy: Edge Cassel
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Old 07-21-2012, 11:29 AM   #45
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Matt Cassel will have a more successful Chiefs career than Trent Green.

You heard it here first.
yeah dude, this one is a killer.
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