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Old 07-21-2012, 02:57 AM  
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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The Declaration Of Independence, MO - The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel

The Declaration Of Independence, MO


The People vs. Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel


When in the course of football events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the fandom bands which have connected them with a Quarterback, and to assume among the Powers of the NFL, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Football and of the NFL's Goodell entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all Quarterbacks are not created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain Unalienable Talents, that among these are Arm Strength, Accuracy and the Pursuit of Championships.

That to secure these talents, Quarterbacks are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the Consent of the Fanbase, That whenever any Form of Quarterback becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Quarterbacks, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Attendance At Arrowhead and Hope For A Championship.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Quarterbacks Long Established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably The Same Offense evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to Throw Off Such Quarterbacks, and to provide new Guards (however, neither left nor right) for their Future Rooting Interests.

Such has been the patient sufferance of these Chiefs Fans; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Offense. The history of the present Quarterback is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an Absolute Run-First Offense over the State of Missouri.


To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.


Cassel 3:16


Spoiler!


Playoff Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Winning Teams Beat Cassel At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Lacks Deep Passing Ability


Spoiler!


Cassel Makes Offensive Linemen Worse


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Good Defenses At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!


Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Spoiler!



We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of Chiefs Fans, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme GM of Arrowhead for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Chiefs, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Chiefs fans are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent of Matthew Gus Brennan Cassel.

That they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Patriot Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of New England, is and ought to be totally dissolved.

And that as Free and Independent Chiefs Fans, they have full Power to levy Boos, conclude Peace, contract Alliances with Dwayne Bowe, establish Commerce with Top Five Picks, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent Fans may of right do.

And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Playoff Fortunes and our Sacred Fandom.


SIGN BELOW


This post made possible by SNR, Coogs and The Gang Of 14.
Statistics compiled by ESPN, PFF and PFR

Dedicated to 'Hamas' Jenkins, our Patrick Henry, who said "Give Me Sanchez, Or Give Me Death."









For further details, please review The Pioli Facts.

The Declaration has been updated with statistics from 2012 and FINALIZED. Remove Matt Cassel from Kansas City. FOREVER.

Last edited by Douche Baggins; 12-26-2012 at 08:03 AM..
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Old 08-29-2012, 12:04 PM   #316
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In case we're all still wondering...

He Sucks.
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Old 09-03-2012, 05:00 PM   #317
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In case we're all still wondering...

He Sucks.


Why yes, yes he does
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Old 09-03-2012, 08:30 PM   #318
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
IMPORTANT FACT #58106:

As a Chief, in games where Cassel's team rushes for less than 135 yards he is 5-17. In the five wins, Cassel's defense holds the opposition to an average of 15.4 points.
I still think of all the damning stats that are posted in this thread, that this one says it all.

5-17 under 135

13-4 over 135
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Old 09-03-2012, 09:49 PM   #319
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Old 09-10-2012, 10:46 AM   #320
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Need to update this clay vs good teams. Cassel 2-9 now.
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:51 PM   #321
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Update coming.

This fanbase doesn't get it.

Quote:
Seriously, what is Cassel suppose to do when the playcalling restricts him so much?

I wish they'd turn him loose, let him do his thing, because only then do I feel I'll be able to fairly judge Cassel as a QB, and pass blame on him for losses.
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:52 PM   #322
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They need to UNCHAIN Cassell!
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Old 09-10-2012, 02:53 PM   #323
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Update coming.

This fanbase doesn't get it.
I'd like to punch that shit-stick right in the nose.
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Old 09-10-2012, 03:00 PM   #324
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Old 09-10-2012, 04:36 PM   #325
Douche Baggins Douche Baggins is offline
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UPDATED FACTS are bolded within the quotes. Note: I COULD update record against good defenses, playoff teams and winning teams, but we'll wait for Atlanta to qualify themselves as such a team.

Cassel 3:16

Quote:
Matt Cassel is 18-23 in his 41 career starts with the Chiefs.

He is 14-6 in games where we ran the ball more than we threw it.

He is 1-1 in games where rushes and passes were equal. Philip Rivers gifted us one win with a fumbled snap. We lost one other game where Matt Ryan made Cassel cry.

However, in an NFL that is classified as a passing first league, he is 3-16 when we put the ball in the air more than we run it.

These games are - 2009 Steelers, 2009 Raiders, 2011 Vikings. The Chiefs have averaged 19.3 points in these wins. Gus threw 3 TD total.

Cassel Struggles Against Elite Quarterbacks At An Alarming Rate


Quote:
A short list of quarterbacks Gus Cassel has faced throughout his career that might be considered "elite," or "definitely not Cassel in any way":

Philip Rivers, Peyton Manning, Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, Tony Romo, Matt Schaub, Joe Flacco, Matthew Stafford, Matt Ryan.

Cassel's record against this group: 3-13 (.1875).

Gus Cassel's Record Against Elite Quarterbacks, By Year:


2012: 0-1
2011: 1-2
2010: 1-3 68 HOT SHIT YARDS
2009: 1-4
2008: 0-3

IMPORTANT FACT #3 In these 16 games against the elite quarterbacks of the NFL, Cassel's teams have averaged 15 offensive points per game.


Statistics tracking for 2012.

Passing over 20 yards:

3 for 3 (go Cassel!)

Sack rate:

1 sack every 11 pass attempts (typical Cassel)


Newest Cassel failfaces! Share them with your friends!



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Old 09-10-2012, 04:38 PM   #326
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Old 09-10-2012, 04:54 PM   #327
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Cassel vs Ryan Fitzpatrick: 1-2!

Round 4 Sunday!
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Old 09-10-2012, 05:00 PM   #328
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cassel's Reckoning View Post
Cassel vs Ryan Fitzpatrick: 1-2!

Round 4 Sunday!
Cassel's stats V. Buffalo:

62/105 for 495 yards, 2 TD, 5 INT for a 57.4 Rating.

Under 60% completion and 165 yards a game.

GRADED OUT PERFECTLY.
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Old 09-10-2012, 05:08 PM   #329
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Old 09-10-2012, 05:27 PM   #330
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheWarpath58 View Post
Cassel's stats V. Buffalo:

62/105 for 495 yards, 2 TD, 5 INT for a 57.4 Rating.

Under 60% completion and 165 yards a game.

GRADED OUT PERFECTLY.
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