Life Good way to scare/piss off your wife.

Holladay · 10-22-2012, 03:06 PM

The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube

So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey

tooge · 10-22-2012, 03:09 PM

tits or gtfo

Inmem58 · 10-22-2012, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge

tits or gtfo

/thread

**Pestilence** · 10-22-2012, 03:15 PM

So what I gathered from your story is that you're a spitter and not a swallower.

frankotank · 10-22-2012, 03:25 PM

My wife doesn't have piss on her....so that just wouldn't work on her.

Holladay · 10-22-2012, 03:27 PM

squiter

Dr. Facebook Fever · 10-22-2012, 03:35 PM

Blame Pioli

KChiefer · 10-22-2012, 04:00 PM

Almost killing yourself with one glass of booze is a good way to scare her for sure.

Drinking 10 more of them is the better way to piss her off. Best way though...dutch oven the morning after those drinks.

CoMoChief · 10-22-2012, 04:04 PM

So you almost drowned choking on whiskey? LOL

theelusiveeightrop · 10-22-2012, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KChiefer

Almost killing yourself with one glass of booze is a good way to scare her for sure.

Drinking 10 more of them is the better way to piss her off. Best way though...dutch oven the morning after those drinks.

Dutch oven always wins big points in the bedroom.

**BigRedChief** · 10-22-2012, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tooge

tits or gtfo

rep

Flachief58 · 10-22-2012, 04:09 PM

Next time, lean forward to keep any more from being drawn down the wind pipe & cough through your nose. Either that or sacrifice the drink and spit in the cup.

rageeumr · 10-22-2012, 04:09 PM

I don't know why I opened this thread. There are a lot of things I lack in life, but finding ways to piss off my wife is not one of them.

Hog Farmer · 10-22-2012, 04:53 PM

Damn, that was funny , I almost choked on my ****ing beer!

ChiefaRoo · 10-22-2012, 04:55 PM

So your like George Bush only without the pretzel.

10-22-2012, 03:06 PM
Holladay Starter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hiawatha, KS Casino cash: $30821	Good way to scare/piss off your wife. The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke. I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work. So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it. Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose. I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey. I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie. I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine). So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey
Posts: 632

10-22-2012, 03:09 PM	#2
tooge MVP Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Liberty, MO Casino cash: $75902	tits or gtfo
Posts: 6,847

10-22-2012, 03:15 PM	#4
Pestilence Wanna go for a ride? Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Nor-Cal Casino cash: $77570305	So what I gathered from your story is that you're a spitter and not a swallower.
Posts: 36,612

10-22-2012, 03:25 PM	#5
frankotank I like 'em mustard & biscuits Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: The Hill Casino cash: $59072	My wife doesn't have piss on her....so that just wouldn't work on her. __________________ A naked American man stole my balloons.
Posts: 3,746

10-22-2012, 03:27 PM	#6
Holladay Starter Join Date: Sep 2000 Location: Hiawatha, KS Casino cash: $30821	squiter
Posts: 632

10-22-2012, 03:35 PM	#7
Dr. Facebook Fever stax of wax Join Date: Feb 2004 Casino cash: $7620	Blame Pioli __________________ courtesy of BoneKrusher "Baseball? It's just a game. As simple as a ball and bat, yet as complex as the American spirit it symbolizes. It's a sport, a business and sometimes a religion." Ernie Harwell
Posts: 34,887

10-22-2012, 04:00 PM	#8
KChiefer Fantastic Planeteer Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Champaign, IL Casino cash: $984283	Almost killing yourself with one glass of booze is a good way to scare her for sure. Drinking 10 more of them is the better way to piss her off. Best way though...dutch oven the morning after those drinks.
Posts: 3,813

10-22-2012, 04:04 PM	#9
CoMoChief The Revolution Has Begun Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: KCMO Casino cash: $124453	So you almost drowned choking on whiskey? LOL __________________ 2013 Adopt-A-Chief: Eric Berry #29
Posts: 28,397

10-22-2012, 04:09 PM	#12
Flachief58 causiously optimistic Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Florida Casino cash: $1094663	Next time, lean forward to keep any more from being drawn down the wind pipe & cough through your nose. Either that or sacrifice the drink and spit in the cup.
Posts: 3,520

10-22-2012, 04:09 PM	#13
rageeumr Veteran Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Oooooooooolathe Casino cash: $305950	I don't know why I opened this thread. There are a lot of things I lack in life, but finding ways to piss off my wife is not one of them.
Posts: 2,143

10-22-2012, 04:53 PM	#14
Hog Farmer Good Donkey = Dead Donkey Join Date: Nov 2001 Casino cash: $5082932	Damn, that was funny , I almost choked on my ****ing beer!
Posts: 12,776

10-22-2012, 04:55 PM	#15
ChiefaRoo Nite Nite Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Austin,TX Casino cash: $47608	So your like George Bush only without the pretzel.
Posts: 9,939

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