Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-22-2012, 03:06 PM  
Holladay Holladay is offline
Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hiawatha, KS
Casino cash: $34981
Good way to scare/piss off your wife.

The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey
Posts: 744
Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 12:26 PM   #31
Holladay Holladay is offline
Starter
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hiawatha, KS
Casino cash: $34981
Understood. I can't control my gag reflex.
Posts: 744
Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 01:02 PM   #32
tooge tooge is online now
MVP
 
tooge's Avatar
 

Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Liberty, MO
Casino cash: $91016
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holladay View Post
Understood. I can't control my gag reflex.
but can your wife? that is all that really matters here.
Posts: 8,277
tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.tooge has parlayed a career as a truck driver into debt free trailer and jon boat ownership.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 02:30 PM   #33
ForeverChiefs58 ForeverChiefs58 is offline
MVP
 

Join Date: Mar 2009
Casino cash: $590867
I thought this was going to be this prank
Posts: 6,789
ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.ForeverChiefs58 is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 02:35 PM   #34
penguinz penguinz is offline
MVP
 
penguinz's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2003
Casino cash: $21751
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holladay View Post
Getting a nice buzz, not drunk.
Only someone that was beyond buzzed would almost kill themselves instead of spitting out their drink.
__________________
http://blackoutsopa.com
Posts: 7,227
penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.penguinz would the whole thing.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 03:22 PM   #35
Holladay Holladay is offline
Starter
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hiawatha, KS
Casino cash: $34981
well, I was spitting it out. ALL OVER THE ROOM.

Last night with my wits about me, I capitalized on the pity sex
Posts: 744
Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 05:38 PM   #36
shitgoose shitgoose is offline
Veteran
 
shitgoose's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: WHITCHITA
Casino cash: $40266
If you really want to piss you wife off you should unsuspectingly pour a large glass of ice cold water on her while she is taking a hot shower, preferably on a Monday morning before work.
__________________

Posts: 1,193
shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.shitgoose is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 06:44 PM   #37
Sully Sully is offline
It Goes On
 
Sully's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Lees Summit
Casino cash: $42354
I think I posted a little about this a few years back, but over the past few years, if I have a coughing fit, I literally black out for a few short seconds. It's only happened about 4 or 5 times, and I only black out for a very short period of time... Except...
At the beginning of the summer, I was out to eat with my wife. We had finished eating, and were chatting, and suddenly I felt a coughing fit coming. I remember saying out loud, "No, not this again," and I apparently passed out for over a minute.
My wife ran around the table and caught me from falling, and said I wasn't breathing at all.
As I came to, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of being bear hugged too tight, and started yelling, "No! Stop!!!" At the top of my lungs. Came to. Immediately realized what had happened, and started apologizing to the entire restaurant. Asked to be helped to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke and heave for 5 minutes.
Had to go on an ambulance after that, but, as I was without insurance at the time, declined to go to the hospital.

Yes... Scared the hell out of my wife (and me, as well, to be honest).
__________________
"And I don't wish that girl any bad luck," he said, "but I hope she gets hit with a car."
- Tommy Lasorda
Posts: 13,358
Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Sully Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 06:45 PM   #38
stevieray stevieray is offline
Ring of Fire
 
stevieray's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2000
Casino cash: $85036453
wake up?
Posts: 36,146
stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.stevieray is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 08:10 PM   #39
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
SNR's battery back-up
 
Simply Red's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: N Dem Skinz
Casino cash: $1068542
Quote:
Originally Posted by Holladay View Post
The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey

Oh okay. PHEW! ...So she did remove your ball-gag?!
Posts: 39,971
Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-23-2012, 08:18 PM   #40
Simplicity Simplicity is offline
1-0 Royals Game Threads.
 
Simplicity's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Iowa... Yeah... Ik.
Casino cash: $123932
Soooo...... What's the point of this?
__________________
Posts: 2,891
Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.Simplicity is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-24-2012, 12:19 PM   #41
Holladay Holladay is offline
Starter
 

Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Hiawatha, KS
Casino cash: $34981
yikes, at least it didn't happen to me in a restraunt.
Posts: 744
Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.Holladay is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2012, 10:17 AM   #42
frankotank frankotank is offline
I like 'em mustard & biscuits
 
frankotank's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Hill
Casino cash: $73981
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sully View Post
I think I posted a little about this a few years back, but over the past few years, if I have a coughing fit, I literally black out for a few short seconds. It's only happened about 4 or 5 times, and I only black out for a very short period of time... Except...
At the beginning of the summer, I was out to eat with my wife. We had finished eating, and were chatting, and suddenly I felt a coughing fit coming. I remember saying out loud, "No, not this again," and I apparently passed out for over a minute.
My wife ran around the table and caught me from falling, and said I wasn't breathing at all.
As I came to, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of being bear hugged too tight, and started yelling, "No! Stop!!!" At the top of my lungs. Came to. Immediately realized what had happened, and started apologizing to the entire restaurant. Asked to be helped to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke and heave for 5 minutes.
Had to go on an ambulance after that, but, as I was without insurance at the time, declined to go to the hospital.

Yes... Scared the hell out of my wife (and me, as well, to be honest).
OK...so you ever seen the email where you can read it but the words are jumbled? like...your brain just automatically figures it out?
well...by brain read the bolded words in a different order...

__________________
A naked American man stole my balloons.
Posts: 5,561
frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.frankotank is too fat/Omaha.
  Reply With Quote
Old 10-25-2012, 10:28 AM   #43
jallmon jallmon is offline
Starter
 
jallmon's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2007
Casino cash: $8738
Don't know about the whiskey, but lift the toilet seat, put saranwrap across the toilet bowl, and lower the seat back down. THAT'LL get her pissed on and pissed off at the same time.
__________________
Go Chiefs!
Posts: 71
jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.jallmon is not part of the Right 53.
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:12 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.