Good way to scare/piss off your wife.

[Holladay]

The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey

[Holladay]

Understood. I can't control my gag reflex.

[tooge]

Originally Posted by Holladay

Understood. I can't control my gag reflex.

but can your wife? that is all that really matters here.

[ForeverChiefs58]

I thought this was going to be this prank

[penguinz]

Originally Posted by Holladay

Getting a nice buzz, not drunk.

Only someone that was beyond buzzed would almost kill themselves instead of spitting out their drink.

[Holladay]

well, I was spitting it out. ALL OVER THE ROOM.

Last night with my wits about me, I capitalized on the pity sex

[shitgoose]

If you really want to piss you wife off you should unsuspectingly pour a large glass of ice cold water on her while she is taking a hot shower, preferably on a Monday morning before work.

[Sully]

I think I posted a little about this a few years back, but over the past few years, if I have a coughing fit, I literally black out for a few short seconds. It's only happened about 4 or 5 times, and I only black out for a very short period of time... Except...
At the beginning of the summer, I was out to eat with my wife. We had finished eating, and were chatting, and suddenly I felt a coughing fit coming. I remember saying out loud, "No, not this again," and I apparently passed out for over a minute.
My wife ran around the table and caught me from falling, and said I wasn't breathing at all.
As I came to, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of being bear hugged too tight, and started yelling, "No! Stop!!!" At the top of my lungs. Came to. Immediately realized what had happened, and started apologizing to the entire restaurant. Asked to be helped to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke and heave for 5 minutes.
Had to go on an ambulance after that, but, as I was without insurance at the time, declined to go to the hospital.

Yes... Scared the hell out of my wife (and me, as well, to be honest).

[stevieray]

wake up?

[Simply Red]

Originally Posted by Holladay

The wife and I were down in the man-cave watching "The Bobby Jones Story" (btw great flick bout a golf icon). Alcohol was involved. She with wine and me with whiskey/coke.

I'd had 2-3 tumblers. Getting a nice buzz, not drunk. I took a big pull....and the dang first bit went down the wrong tube So here I sit, a mouth full of booze, trying and swallow, trying to cough. The swallowing thingie didn't work.

So now I'm spraying, in spurts (still trying to do the swallow thingie), hosing down the basement. The pressure is building as I stop the futile swallow thingie, instead try to just hold it in. I remember getting/pole vaulting up trying to get to the sink, and that's it.

Next thing I remember is relishing how cold tile is and the wife's voice, seemingly coming from a tunnel, shouting "Are you O.K.". And she keeps repeating it like I can't @$%! hear her. Then her face comes into focus 2" from my nose.

I was fine. She said I took a header into the fish tank cabinet. I guess what happened, with all that pressure building, there was no O2 getting to the brain and I passed out. Like you did when you were a kid; hold your breath until your face turns red and pass out. Well I guess I did that with a mouthful of whiskey.

I felt like a cat, when it lands wrong, then looks around to see if anyone saw the faux pas. The wife looked at my head, expecting a bloody mess. I told her again I was fine. I cleaned up the mess and finished the movie.

I didn't tell her about the golf ball sized lump on the BACK of my head on the Knowledge Knot (that bump on the base of the skull right above your spine).

So is there anyone here who can swallow and cough at the same time? Or can't hold their whiskey

Oh okay. PHEW! ...So she did remove your ball-gag?!

[Simplicity]

Soooo...... What's the point of this?

[Holladay]

yikes, at least it didn't happen to me in a restraunt.

[frankotank]

Originally Posted by Sully

I think I posted a little about this a few years back, but over the past few years, if I have a coughing fit, I literally black out for a few short seconds. It's only happened about 4 or 5 times, and I only black out for a very short period of time... Except...
At the beginning of the summer, I was out to eat with my wife. We had finished eating, and were chatting, and suddenly I felt a coughing fit coming. I remember saying out loud, "No, not this again," and I apparently passed out for over a minute.
My wife ran around the table and caught me from falling, and said I wasn't breathing at all.
As I came to, I remember having this overwhelming feeling of being bear hugged too tight, and started yelling, "No! Stop!!!" At the top of my lungs. Came to. Immediately realized what had happened, and started apologizing to the entire restaurant. Asked to be helped to the bathroom, and proceeded to puke and heave for 5 minutes.
Had to go on an ambulance after that, but, as I was without insurance at the time, declined to go to the hospital.

Yes... Scared the hell out of my wife (and me, as well, to be honest).

OK...so you ever seen the email where you can read it but the words are jumbled? like...your brain just automatically figures it out?
well...by brain read the bolded words in a different order...

[jallmon]

Don't know about the whiskey, but lift the toilet seat, put saranwrap across the toilet bowl, and lower the seat back down. THAT'LL get her pissed on and pissed off at the same time.