Home Mail MemberMap Chat (0) Wallpapers
Go Back   ChiefsPlanet > The Lounge

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 11-20-2012, 09:20 PM  
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
Moderator
 
Gonzo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Yukon
Casino cash: $20219
VARSITY
Gonzo vs. Big Retail

Whoever thought this process was a good idea needs to be hung by their eyelids...

A few days ago I needed to purchase some applewood discs for my electric Bradley smoker so I could smoke a turkey for an office thanksgiving party. The following is the chain of events that took place at this large retail sporting goods store: I'll not mention the name of said store but for the ease of storytelling, we'll call it Cadella's.

I enter Cadella's at approximately 09:45 CST for one item, a box of Bradley Applewood Smoking Biscuits. Upon entry, two elderly gentlemen (approximately 65 years old) look at me with a ravenous, predatory smile. Both of them were wearing upland hunting gear, (blaze-orange hats, bird vests, plaid shirts and burr-proof pants) which always baffles me.

My feeble attempts to ignore them and not make eye contact proved worthless. The first geriatric greets me with a, "Good morning sir, do you have a Cadella's club card?" I reply with a polite, (yet blunt) "No, I don't."
The second 'greeter' then asks me if I would like to sign up and save 25% on today's purchases.
To this I give another stern, (yet polite) "No thanks."
The first gomer then says, "Really? It only takes a few minutes."
I reply with, "I don't have time nor am I interested., thank you."

It was like I kicked them both in the testicles. They couldn't understand why I wouldn't want to sign up for their awesome ****ing 'Club Card'. I felt as though I was going to get tackled and forced into a dark room for "Reprogramming" i.e. A Clockwork Orange. It took an amazing spin-move that would remind some of a young Earl Campbell to get by these two elderly statesmen. I'll never be able to prove it, but I could've sworn I saw one of them talk into the cuff of his plaid shirt and say something like, "The rooster is in the henhouse, all units converge." Meh, could've been my imagination.

I began progressing to the rear of the store when I decided to take a slight detour and check out the used gun area. (I am a collector of Browning Automatic Rifles and older Ithaca/SKB shotguns.) Behold, there was a 12 guage Ducks Unlimited model Ithaca XL900 for sale. (Of which I have two but I need to prep for the upcoming apocalypse, right?) Pricetag?
$550
GET THE **** OUTTA HERE...

I move on, not even tempted to try haggling with these douchers.
Eureka! Found what I needed. One box of applewood left. Time for a strategic exit.
Now then, what year is this? 2012...right?
This is the age of instant gratification and self check stations. Amirite?
NOOOOO, **** no.
I figure Cadella's must recruit their cashiers from the local VFW post or the Omaha Lutheran retirement home. These guys are older than the two "Greeters" by a good 10 years.

A side note...
Listen, I respect my elders. Especially our greatest generation. But these guys don't need to be operating today's sophisticated registers. They really don't.
Anyway, back to business.
I assess my situation. Three open registers, (out of at least 20 that could be running) and all three of them have a line of at least two people waiting and one processing. The lag was excruciatingly slow. I picked my line and waited... And waited...
Someone slid in line behind me and I asked them if they packed a lunch.
FINALLY! My turn. I place my one item on the table and Edward, (my spry, 80 year old cashier) asked me if I found everything ok.
"Yes."
He then picked up the box and went to scan the bar code. Before doing so he flipped the box over and read the label. "Applewood Smoking Biscuits, what are these fur?" (He said 'for' like 'Fur')
"My electric smoker." I replied. I figure about now my face must be almost purple with anger.
"Huh?" Edward tilted his head so I can speak right into his hearing aid.
"MY ELECTRIC MEAT SMOKER!" I was almost yelling.
"Oh, those werk purty good?" He asked.
The heat coming off my head could be used to defrost a walk-in freezer by now. I could see a seizure in my future.
"It does alright." I muttered. At this point, a seizure would be welcomed.
Finally, ol' Eddy scans the box. He turns to me and asks, "What's your phone number?"
WHAT. THE. ****.
Right?
Screw it, I'm not going to fight anymore. I give him my fax.
He enters it, (after I repeat the last four digits, twice).
Then it happened.
"Are you a Club Card member?"
I could see a slight grin and I knew instantly. Those two bastards from up front had me ID'd and told old Eddy to give it the old college try, one more time.
I could smell burnt matches, 'must be having a stroke.' I thought.
"N-N-No, I'm not." I sobbed.
"Well, if ya got a few minutes, you could save 25% on this here." He said.
Well friends, let me say. If I had been armed I might have been on the 10:00 pm news that night.
I don't condone acts of random violence like that, but I understand it.

After nearly blacking out, I exited the facility at 10:30 a.m.
10 minutes of legitimate shopping, 35 minutes of waiting, being hassled, harassed and just verbally beaten. You just cannot possibly run in and out of this place to get what you need. You have to go through hell for a 20 dollar box of applewood.
But hey, I saved 25% which is cool.
Posts: 18,589
Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:45 PM   #16
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
SNR's battery back-up
 
Simply Red's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SO SO DEF HQ's
Casino cash: $23750
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugeater View Post
Wait a minute, you live in Dellevue, which closer to Bouncil Cluffs. Why the **** did you drive clear out west to begin with?
is Bouncil Cluffs another midwest sporting goods outfit?
__________________
I don't forget anything - remember that.
Posts: 43,165
Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:45 PM   #17
mikeyis4dcats. mikeyis4dcats. is offline
Scarlett Johansson's boytoy
 
mikeyis4dcats.'s Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2006
Casino cash: $7825
try returning something at Sutherlands some time. No bar codes. They review the receipt, write up a ticket, frank the ticket in a register, attach a receipt, and give you your money back. Takes 15 minutes every time, no exaggeration. I've decided it is no longer worth returning anything under $10.
__________________
Originally Posted by KC_Connection
I am a pillowbiter.

Posts: 9,784
mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.mikeyis4dcats. Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:48 PM   #18
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
SNR's battery back-up
 
Simply Red's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SO SO DEF HQ's
Casino cash: $23750
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gonzo View Post
Dude, 45 minutes to buy a box of wood. Really?



box of weed maybe - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
I don't forget anything - remember that.
Posts: 43,165
Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:50 PM   #19
ChiefsCountry ChiefsCountry is offline
Gonzo = Sexy Bitch
 
ChiefsCountry's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lake of the Ozarks
Casino cash: $16021
Ironically while reading thread - a Cabela's commercial was just on ESPN.
Posts: 29,541
ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.ChiefsCountry is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:52 PM   #20
Simply Red Simply Red is offline
SNR's battery back-up
 
Simply Red's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: SO SO DEF HQ's
Casino cash: $23750
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiefsCountry View Post
Ironically while reading thread - a Cabela's commercial was just on ESPN.
that's badass.
__________________
I don't forget anything - remember that.
Posts: 43,165
Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.Simply Red is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:56 PM   #21
tk13 tk13 is offline
...
 

Join Date: Nov 2001
Casino cash: $16515
Somewhere on OutdoorsPlanet.com, an old man just made a thread: "Bob vs. the Stubborn Shopper"
Posts: 37,087
tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:56 PM   #22
BigRedChief BigRedChief is offline
Brainwashed
 
BigRedChief's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Swims with fishes
Casino cash: $17095
VARSITY
I ordered my smoking biscuits for my Bradley smoker off the internet.
__________________
The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.

Albert Einstein
Posts: 44,676
BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.BigRedChief is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:58 PM   #23
Chocolate Hog Chocolate Hog is offline
Winner
 
Chocolate Hog's Avatar
 

Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: My house
Casino cash: $11097
Bo's Pelini vs Long stories

Too long did not read
Posts: 34,971
Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.Chocolate Hog 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:59 PM   #24
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
Moderator
 
Gonzo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Yukon
Casino cash: $20219
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bugeater View Post
Wait a minute, you live in Dellevue, which closer to Bouncil Cluffs. Why the **** did you drive clear out west to begin with?
That's where my office is. (When I don't work from home)
__________________
Become a cool kid. Donate to C.P. by clicking here.
Posts: 18,589
Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:59 PM   #25
tk13 tk13 is offline
...
 

Join Date: Nov 2001
Casino cash: $16515
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini View Post
Bo's Pelini vs Long stories

Too long did not read
Words are hard.
Posts: 37,087
tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.tk13 's phone was tapped by Scott Pioli.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 09:59 PM   #26
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
Moderator
 
Gonzo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Yukon
Casino cash: $20219
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini View Post
Bo's Pelini vs Long stories

Too long can not read
Fyp
__________________
Become a cool kid. Donate to C.P. by clicking here.
Posts: 18,589
Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 10:00 PM   #27
Gonzo Gonzo is offline
Moderator
 
Gonzo's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Yukon
Casino cash: $20219
VARSITY
Quote:
Originally Posted by tk13 View Post
Words are hard.
Lulz
__________________
Become a cool kid. Donate to C.P. by clicking here.
Posts: 18,589
Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.Gonzo is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 10:16 PM   #28
CoMoChief CoMoChief is offline
The Revolution Has Begun
 
CoMoChief's Avatar
 

Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: KCMO
Casino cash: $9947
I just use the Ron Swanson technique. I swear this really works because I use this all the time I go into places like that....Sams, Walmart, Costco, Lowes, Home Depot, Best Buy, etc.

__________________
2014 Adopt-A-Chief: RT Donald Stephenson #79
Posts: 31,142
CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.CoMoChief threw an interception on a screen pass.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 10:19 PM   #29
Buehler445 Buehler445 is offline
Supporter
 
Buehler445's Avatar
 

Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Scott City KS
Casino cash: $14928
Suck man.

You're doing it wrong though. The two dudes in the front that ask about the CC VISA, the correct answer is "Yep. Sure do. Thanks." Shuts them right up.

The number of checkouts was in our audit reports quite a bit.

An option for you, is they do have surveys and a feedback line.
Posts: 22,513
Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.Buehler445 is obviously part of the inner Circle.
  Reply With Quote
Old 11-20-2012, 10:25 PM   #30
RJ RJ is offline
Bon vivant....occasionally.
 
RJ's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In a shotgun shack
Casino cash: $5047
I'm a sales manager for a small chain of carpet stores. I frequently find myself asking my boss, "Is this something our customers want, or just something we want?". Seems like retailers, large and small, should ask that question more often. There a few companies that I simply won't shop as they seem to go out of their way to piss off their customers.
Posts: 14,767
RJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby PiscitelliRJ 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump




All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:39 AM.


This is a test for a client's site.
A new website that shows member-created construction site listings that need fill or have excess fill. Dirt Monkey @ https://DirtMonkey.net
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.