Once a cheater, always a cheater?

[ThaVirus]

How do you feel about this age-old question?

Can you ever fully trust someone that's cheated?

How about when a woman (or man, if that's what you're into) cheated on their significant other with you, dumped the other person, then began a relationship with you? Anyone ever had that situation? Did it work out?

If you're brave enough, has anyone here ever cheated? Was it a one time thing or recurring? Were you ever able to stop your adulterous ways?

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

You know, the more I think about it, it's probably a blessing I'll be single. Why the **** would you get emotionally invested (at the very least) when all your significant other is going to do is break your heart anyway?

Perhaps.

You never truly know what will happen though, that's why I posed the question.

I mean, if a woman ever cheated on me in a relationship- it's ****ing over. The thought of my woman with anyone other than me makes my stomach churn and I know for a fact I could never look at her the same way. It may hurt to end the relationship at the time, but my feelings and pride mean more to me than a few months of heartbreak.

But what if you were aware that a woman had cheated on someone else (as in not you) in the past. Say, 1 time several years ago. Would you think twice about getting involved with her?

I'm not sure what your situation is though. Care to share?

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Perhaps.

You never truly know what will happen though, that's why I posed the question.

I mean, if a woman ever cheated on me in a relationship; it's ****ing over. The thought of my woman with anyone other than me makes my stomach churn and I know for a fact I could never look at her the same way. It may hurt to end the relationship at the time, but my feelings and pride mean more to me than a few months of heartbreak.

But what if you were aware that a woman had cheated on someone else (as in not you) in the past. Say, 1 time several years ago. Would you think twice about getting involved with her?

I'm not sure what your situation is though. Care to share?

Would you trust her if she said she never cheated in the past? Or if the topic never got discussed in general?

Just because a person doesn't admit a behavior doesn't mean they're denying it.

[Iowanian]

I think people make mistakes and can learn from them.

I also know I'll never sleep with a married woman that isn't my wife.
If Brideowanian ever cheated on me, that would be the end of it. No trust, no relationship.
That said...I know a lot of people who are able to repair those things. Just don't think I could.

I also know that were I single, I'd never partner up with someone who was in a relationship when I found them. Are they going to leave me for the first guy with a bigger bank account? It's also a good way to get your ass beaten or killed.

I don't need that kind of shit in my life.

[Chiefspants]

It would be interesting to see the results if this were an anonymous poll.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Would you trust her if she said she never cheated in the past? Or if the topic never got discussed in general?

Just because a person doesn't admit a behavior doesn't mean they're denying it.

Well if I met a woman and had no knowledge of her past then I guess i would have to trust her.

Originally Posted by Chiefspants

It would be interesting to see the results if this were an anonymous poll.

I'm a thread making n00b but under thread tools it says I could make a poll... I'll check it out.

[Discuss Thrower]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

Well if I met a woman and had no knowledge of her past then I guess i would have to trust her.

Perhaps that's a positive that she came right out and said something.. It hints that the might feel remorse for stepping out on someone and doesn't want to repeat her "mistakes".

[tooge]

I think alot goes into this. If you are in a terrible marriage, and you are just biding time to get the **** out for financial or legal reasons, and you cheat? I think you can change. If you cheat just because you can't turn down strange, then you will cheat regardless of if you are happily married or not. I think cheating can be like a drug addiction. Some people can have a few beers and go home, others just keep going until they are ****ed up.

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Perhaps that's a positive that she came right out and said something.. It hints that the might feel remorse for stepping out on someone and doesn't want to repeat her "mistakes".

There you go. That's certainly something I'd have to take into account..

[ThaVirus]

Originally Posted by tooge

I think alot goes into this. If you are in a terrible marriage, and you are just biding time to get the **** out for financial or legal reasons, and you cheat? I think you can change. If you cheat just because you can't turn down strange, then you will cheat regardless of if you are happily married or not. I think cheating can be like a drug addiction. Some people can have a few beers and go home, others just keep going until they are ****ed up.

I agree.

I do think that some people are just dogs. Despite "settling down" in a relationship with an official title, they really have no desire to be monogamous.

On the other hand, I don't think everyone that cheats is 100% like that.

Maybe they're missing an emotional connection and trying to find it anyway they can. Maybe they're missing that physical side of the relationship that some people don't like to admit is as important as it is. Maybe they're just pissed off like Durtyrute was..

I understand you can't really generalize human emotion like this. I was just trying to get your own opinions from your personal experiences.

[vailpass]

Originally Posted by Discuss Thrower

Even when you literally go all in with all that you are monetarily worth plus whatever you have intangibly knowing there's a sizable chance you'll lose it?

Ahhh, I get it. You're saying never get married.

You got to know when to hold em
Know when to fold em
Know when to walk away
Know when to RUN

[durtyrute]

Originally Posted by ThaVirus

I agree.

I do think that some people are just dogs. Despite "settling down" in a relationship with an official title, they really have no desire to be monogamous.

On the other hand, I don't think everyone that cheats is 100% like that.

Maybe they're missing an emotional connection and trying to find it anyway they can. Maybe they're missing that physical side of the relationship that some people don't like to admit is as important as it is. Maybe they're just pissed off like Durtyrute was..

I understand you can't really generalize human emotion like this. I was just trying to get your own opinions from your personal experiences.

I didn't cheat cause I was pissed. Even though I was pissed cause she wouldn't suck it more, even though she said she would if I shaved my gonads, (that lying ass bitch face) that's not why I cheated. I cheated because my first love, even though she cheated on me six years earlier, wanted to get down durty style, so we did.

With all of that being said, people can and do change. That "once a cheater, always a cheater" bullshit is well, bullshit.

[BIG_DADDY]

I think most relationships are ****ed up to begin with. You either learn to communicate about your needs and work through those or you cheat or you forever resent the fact that you are at the point you are at.

[luv]

Also, is the person who the person cheated with a bad person? Even if they knew the cheater was in a relationship but they weren't?

[BIG_DADDY]

Originally Posted by luv

Also, is the person who the person cheated with a bad person? Even if they knew the cheater was in a relationship but they weren't?

Would you feel bad if Brad Pitt rode you hard all night and sent you home wet?

[luv]

Originally Posted by BIG_DADDY

Would you feel bad if Brad Pitt rode you hard all night and sent you home wet?

Good question. Should I feel bad for enabling him to cheat, or should the feeling of guilt be on him? If the cheater shows no remorse, should the third party hold any blame?