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Old 12-23-2012, 11:52 PM  
Jim Jones Jim Jones is offline
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Should I confront my fiance over text messages I found?

I guarantee this thread isn't going to be about what the thread title might have led you to think it's about. Sorry about that...

Anyway -- was reading text messages on my fiance's cell phone (Yes, I do that, I'm a privacy invader...but past relationships have led me to be a little paranoid).

I read texts between her and her sister and mom, basically trashing my family, which is who we're spending Christmas Eve with. It wasn't just like your usual, "not really looking forward to going to the in-laws", but it was actually pretty vicious stuff. She was trashing my mom's cooking, basically saying she doesn't like my mom at all (my family has been AMAZING to her)..complaining that all we do is "sit around and talk with a sports game on the TV), trashing my parents house, my sister and her "annoying kid". It was really nasty stuff and a side of her I haven't really seen before.

Question is -- do I confront her? This is all that's gonna be on my mind tomorrow, but confronting her means I have to admit to reading her text messages. I don't know how I can move forward knowing she's been talking all this shit about my family though.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:27 AM   #46
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I would confront her. That said, don't. Not yet anyway. Wait until after the holidays. No need to make it awkward for the both of you now. You'll just be ridiculously critical of everything she does all Xmas.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:29 AM   #47
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If she is not having an affair then you do not confront her those are her private messages. Maybe your family just sucks.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:29 AM   #48
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I would confront her. That said, don't. Not yet anyway. Wait until after the holidays. No need to make it awkward for the both of you now. You'll just be ridiculously critical of everything she does all Xmas.
She wrecked his Christmas already but he has to hold it all down. That's tough man.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:31 AM   #49
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I actually was recently with this girl who was acting pretty kind to NY family. Told me I was rude to my aunt and called my mom ma'am. I dumped her ass quick. **** my family.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:35 AM   #50
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If she is not having an affair then you do not confront her those are her private messages. Maybe your family just sucks.
Tebow does NOT Rule.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:38 AM   #51
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No matter what you do, this is how this will turn out.

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Old 12-24-2012, 12:40 AM   #52
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I know that is why it is backwards, because he sucks.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:41 AM   #53
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I know that is why it is backwards, because he sucks.
I doubt that's the case considering your Denver nut-huggery in other threads, you stanky hoe.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:45 AM   #54
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No matter what you do, this is how this will turn out.

hahahaha Thats awesome
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:46 AM   #55
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Do two things:
1. Say nothing.
2. Stop reading her text messages.

I'm not going to be condescending about you having done that. I've done both and I can tell you that confronting her will not end well. I also think it's ultimately unnecessary to continuing an otherwise happy relationship. We'd ALL be mortified by our partners' most private thoughts. Which is precisely why we shouldn't have access to them. So long as she's kind to your family, does it matter that she isn't fond of your mom's cooking? I mean, most people put on airs to go along with less than pleasant interactions with family.

She'll never get past you invading her privacy in the first place. You'll be angry that she won't set her feelings aside to address yours. The two of you will talk AT each other and your relationship may pay the ultimate price.

LET. IT. GO.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:46 AM   #56
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hahahaha Thats awesome
All my gifs after 5pm are funny.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:50 AM   #57
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Originally Posted by Micjones View Post
Do two things:
1. Say nothing.
2. Stop reading her text messages.

I'm not going to be condescending about you having done that. So have I and as someone who's done both, I can tell you that confronting her will not end well. I also think it's ultimately unnecessary to continuing an otherwise happy relationship. We'd ALL be mortified by our partners' most private thoughts. Which is precisely why we shouldn't have access to them. So long as she's kind to your family, does it matter that she isn't fond of your mom's cooking? I mean, most people put on airs to go along with less than pleasant interactions with family.

She'll never get past you invading her privacy in the first place. You'll be angry that she won't set her feelings aside to address yours. The two of you will talk AT each other and your relationship may pay the ultimate price.

LET. IT. GO.
Lots of good advise in this thread

But if it were me/ I think this is probably the way to go.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:53 AM   #58
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All my gifs after 5pm are funny.
You do come up with some funnier than shit stuff. The ramp on the van had to fricking hurt
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:54 AM   #59
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In my opinion, you're not ready for a serious relationship. Until you can get to the point where you don't have to snoop on someone, you're damaged goods and any relationship you have is going to end badly. Everybody deserves a little privacy and space and you owe it to someone you're with to respect that. Maybe you need some counseling to get over your trust issues.

As far as the foul, this is pretty small. She's likely just be venting. Yeah, her time at your family's house isn't the most favorite time for her, but she is putting on a good face for you so you can enjoy yourself while you are there. You need to give her the space to vent. Sure it is a pretense, but everyone puts them on, because no one gets to do exactly what they want every minute of their life. Eventually the pretenses put on during courtship fall to the wayside and she would let you in on the secret that your family wears on her a bit and you'll have to make some allowances for that. Or maybe she would come around to like them better down the road. It's called marriage and there are going to be some bumps in the road. This one is pretty minor.
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:54 AM   #60
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You do come up with some funnier than shit stuff. The ramp on the van had to fricking hurt
As someone who has never tried that, it looks ****ing painful.
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