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Old 12-29-2012, 02:43 PM  
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart

Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.




am i dying?
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:53 PM   #31
SomeRandomGirl SomeRandomGirl is offline
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I love fart/shart/snart stories. I giggle like a little girl when I read them.
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SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.SomeRandomGirl has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 12-29-2012, 06:58 PM   #32
GloryDayz GloryDayz is offline
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Hershey Squirts are always followed by Tangy Asshole.
Dabbing... At some point, we all suffer through it!
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:29 PM   #33
ImAWalkingCorpse ImAWalkingCorpse is offline
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You experienced what my friends and I in high school called a "hot fart."
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:22 PM   #34
Dayze Dayze is online now
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:23 PM   #35
Mosbonian Mosbonian is offline
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It took me about 30 minutes to stop laughing so hard while reading this.....I think I pulled a muscle laughing so hard.

My wife heard me and asked what I was doing....I said I was reading a hilarious post on ChiefsPlanet. She said..."oh that place again".
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Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:33 PM   #36
Mosbonian Mosbonian is offline
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When I read this thread all I could think of was this:

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Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Mosbonian Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:54 AM   #37
rtmike rtmike is offline
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Sucks, doesn't it.

I cringe every time I sneeze or cough regardless of whether I'm under the weather. I have 50-60 pair of underwear & have sharted/pissed in every pair.
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rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.rtmike would the whole thing.
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:35 AM   #38
GloryDayz GloryDayz is offline
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LOL!
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Old 01-08-2013, 08:38 AM   #39
AussieChiefsFan AussieChiefsFan is offline
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:49 AM   #40
GloryDayz GloryDayz is offline
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Well said...
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:47 AM   #41
something cooler something cooler is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SomeRandomGirl View Post
I love fart/shart/snart stories. I giggle like a little girl when I read them.
Is this a dude?
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something cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitellisomething cooler 's adopt a chief was Sabby Piscitelli
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:53 AM   #42
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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It's the realization that Reid is trading down to take a lineman and will take a QB with the 33rd or 66th pick and thinks he can coach up Cassel as our backup
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:53 AM   #43
Der Flöprer Der Flöprer is offline
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It's the realization that Reid is trading down to take a lineman and will take a QB with the 33rd or 66th pick and thinks he can coach up Cassel as our backup
So you think he's going to shart the pick?
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:55 AM   #44
lcarus lcarus is offline
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So has nobody else ever shit their pants straight up? No sneeze, no little shart juice...but a real pants shitting? I shit mine...
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Old 01-08-2013, 12:18 PM   #45
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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So you think he's going to shart the pick?
Yes, I believe he will trade down more than likely if he can because as he said, "we have been blessed with the first pick and you MUST DO THE RIGHT THING with the first pick. And I think he will eventually come to the point where he will see the 'right thing to do with the first pick' is to trade down and accumulate a pick or two and may even trade down twice if he stays with Albert at OT. But with Albert's back problems he probably will take Joekel and then take the best QB available in his eyes with the 33rd.
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