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Old 12-29-2012, 01:43 PM  
Mr. Laz Mr. Laz is offline
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WTF ... The dreaded Sneeze/Shart
Holiday inevitably leads to catching a cold from being around all the extra people.

I've been coming down with the sniffles and sneezing a lot.

I'm sitting on the side of my bed and feel the sneeze coming. At this point, sneezing feels good so i let it come.

ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo .... let a huge sneeze fly


I immediately know that something is wrong and clamp the butt cheeks closed.

Dam ... that sneeze/fart sounded and felt way too wet.

Waddle to the toilet and let it go ... nothing but brown water. Not diarrhea ... literally brown water.

Then i look down and see this wet spot on my underwear. ****!!

Then i see the same on my sweat pants. Holy ****!!

I take them off and go back to bedroom to get new clothing and another dam spot on the bed sheets.

What the ****ing hell ... i'm blowing a water spout out of my ass.




am i dying?
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:53 PM   #31
SomeRandomGirl SomeRandomGirl is offline
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I love fart/shart/snart stories. I giggle like a little girl when I read them.
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SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.SomeRandomGirl must have mowed badgirl's lawn.
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Old 12-29-2012, 05:58 PM   #32
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Hershey Squirts are always followed by Tangy Asshole.
Dabbing... At some point, we all suffer through it!
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GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:29 PM   #33
ImAWalkingCorpse ImAWalkingCorpse is offline
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You experienced what my friends and I in high school called a "hot fart."
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ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.ImAWalkingCorpse is not part of the Right 53.
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:22 PM   #34
Dayze Dayze is offline
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bad O-ring gasket.
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Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.Dayze has an IQ even higher than Frankie's.
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:23 PM   #35
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It took me about 30 minutes to stop laughing so hard while reading this.....I think I pulled a muscle laughing so hard.

My wife heard me and asked what I was doing....I said I was reading a hilarious post on ChiefsPlanet. She said..."oh that place again".
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:33 PM   #36
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When I read this thread all I could think of was this:
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Old 12-29-2012, 11:54 PM   #37
rtmike rtmike is offline
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Sucks, doesn't it.

I cringe every time I sneeze or cough regardless of whether I'm under the weather. I have 50-60 pair of underwear & have sharted/pissed in every pair.
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rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.rtmike has just been standing around suckin' on a big ol' chili dog.
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Old 01-08-2013, 07:35 AM   #38
GloryDayz GloryDayz is online now
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LOL!
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Click image for larger version Name: shart1.jpg Views: 19 Size: 42.3 KB ID: 103236  
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Come on Clark Hunt, you can do this... Glass is doing shit over at the K, so if you do something awesome here, this city could go back to having awesomeness abounding in it's teams (and lots of support from the fans too). Come on buddy, do this thing...
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GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 01-08-2013, 07:38 AM   #39
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:49 AM   #40
GloryDayz GloryDayz is online now
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Well said...
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GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.GloryDayz is too fat/Omaha.
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:47 AM   #41
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I love fart/shart/snart stories. I giggle like a little girl when I read them.
Is this a dude?
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:53 AM   #42
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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It's the realization that Reid is trading down to take a lineman and will take a QB with the 33rd or 66th pick and thinks he can coach up Cassel as our backup
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:53 AM   #43
Mr. Flopnuts Mr. Flopnuts is offline
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It's the realization that Reid is trading down to take a lineman and will take a QB with the 33rd or 66th pick and thinks he can coach up Cassel as our backup
So you think he's going to shart the pick?
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Old 01-08-2013, 10:55 AM   #44
lcarus lcarus is offline
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So has nobody else ever shit their pants straight up? No sneeze, no little shart juice...but a real pants shitting? I shit mine...
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lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.lcarus 's phone was tapped by Scott *****.
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:18 AM   #45
Chiefshrink Chiefshrink is offline
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So you think he's going to shart the pick?
Yes, I believe he will trade down more than likely if he can because as he said, "we have been blessed with the first pick and you MUST DO THE RIGHT THING with the first pick. And I think he will eventually come to the point where he will see the 'right thing to do with the first pick' is to trade down and accumulate a pick or two and may even trade down twice if he stays with Albert at OT. But with Albert's back problems he probably will take Joekel and then take the best QB available in his eyes with the 33rd.
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Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.Chiefshrink Forgot to Remove His Claytex and Got Toxic Shock Syndrome.
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