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Old 02-05-2013, 06:47 PM   Topic Starter
saphojunkie saphojunkie is online now
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Why do we have to deal with Adam Teicher?

This is a simple question.

I know that there are many others on this board besides myself who:
  • Graduated with either an English or Journalism degree.
  • Know and follow the Kansas City Chiefs.
  • Are not knuckle-dragging mongoloids who have opinions on sports that vaguely resemble a 140 year old pile of fossilized dog shit.

So I ask you, why? Why do I have to deal with Adam Teicher as the foremost authority on Chiefs news? Why do I have absolutely no one with a press pass to Arrowhead that can actually think analytically, can accurately assess obvious situations, can do radio interviews without sounding like a WWII vet trying to take a shit, and... you know... actually watch and understand competitive sport?

Adam Troglodyte Teicher was on Soren Petro's show today. Now, I tend to give Petro the most credit of any KC radio host, which I suppose isn't saying much. But lately SP has apparently decided that he should take the turn from "objectively skeptical" toward "Blatantly Opposed" with regards to the Chiefs drafting a QB #1.

Petro had a great interview with Geno Smith over the weekend and the first thing he says about it to Teicher is that Geno "looked small." So... now we are inventing reasons why he isn't worth the pick?

But I digress.

Teicher continues talking, and I swear to god, this asshole couldn't win a single argument with a remotely knowledgeable sports fan. Petro lets him get away with galatically retarded statements for reasons unknown.

By the end of the interview, Teicher actually REFERENCED MEL KIPER when he said that there were "only four players worth picking at #1 for the Chiefs."

They were, you guessed it:

Joeckel
Demontre Moore
Jarvis Jones

and and and...

Star Lotuleilei.


Who did Teicher say he would take out of them? Lotuleilei. Of course, this fat ****ing crusty moron said that. Why? Because...

And this is rich...

WE NEED ANOTHER DEFENSIVE LINEMAN AFTER DORSEY AND JACKSON LEAVE.

That's right.

His justification is that OUR TOP FIVE DRAFT PICK DEFENSIVE LINEMAN HAVE BUSTED, SO WE NEED ANOTHER TOP FIVE DRAFT PICK DEFENSIVE LINEMAN.

(oh and one that doesn't rush the QB).

Gee, Adam, you think maybe the reason they busted is because you shouldn't draft 5 tech defensive linemen in the top 5, because they simply will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER pay off that lofty draft position?

here's another take that Teicher could have offered:

I saw that Mel "Dipshit" Kiper said there were only four players worth drafting number one for the Chiefs - a tackle to replace the FIRST ROUND DRAFT PICK currently starting at left tackle who GAVE UP ONLY ONE SACK THIS YEAR, an undersized pass rushing defensive end with a degenerative neck disease two replace ONE OF THE TWO PROBOWLERS CURRENTLY UNDER CONTRACT AND UNDER 30, another pass rusher just in case you really think Tamba Hali got lucky this year, and Star Lotuleilei, who I can't even bring myself to criticize, since he's such a ****ing piece of shit option for our draft pick.

Now, I ask you...

How is it that NO ONE ON THIS BOARD can take Teicher's job? You're telling me that SNR couldn't write for the Star? Or Sorter? (Although she might get a little confused when her gifs don't move in the morning paper).

Someone.

Please.

Rescue Kansas City from the seemingly interminable onslaught of jackassery and idiocy that is Adam Teicher - Chiefs Insider.

I mean look at this stupid face.




That is a face badly in need of a punch.

Last edited by saphojunkie; 02-05-2013 at 06:53 PM..
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