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Old 01-15-2013, 04:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 06-03-2013, 10:18 AM   #136
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When Stepfon Muse and his wife started arguing last Wednesday, he wanted to nip it in the bud.

Instead, he nipped her in the butt, police say. The 30-year-old Palm Bay, Fla. man was arrested on charges of aggravated battery after investigators saw a visible bite mark on the victim's caboose, WKMG reports.

Police were called to check out reports of a disturbance between the couple, and found Muse and his wife in their car, according to WTSP. The victim claimed that she tried to get out of the car but Muse restrained her, struck her and then bit her buttocks.

Muse was arrested and held without bond at the Brevard County Jail.

Couples across the country seem to be going for sensitive areas during their arguments lately.

Christina Salinas, of Sacramento, Calif., allegedly bit her husband's penis late last month because he wanted her to leave a rodeo early. Her victim, Anthony Hill, is recovering. He apparently regrets having called the police.

And in April, Catherine Kieu was convicted of drugging her estranged husband, cutting off his penis and throwing it in the garbage disposal, according to The Associated Press. Frank Bittar, Kieu's public defender, argued during the trial that Kieu's husband had verbally and sexually abused her during their marriage.
There's too much penis abuse in the world today.
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Old 06-03-2013, 01:37 PM   #137
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Holy shit. From now on when I go to Florida, my penis stays here.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:28 PM   #138
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Model parents they ain't....

A Lake County man and woman have been arrested after a 4-year-old boy shot off a portion of one of his fingers.

Now that child is in emergency DCF custody.

The Lake County Sheriff’s Office said deputies were called to Florida Hospital Waterman in Tavares Sunday morning for the report of a child being shot.

After arriving at the hospital’s emergency room, deputies learned that the boy had shot off a portion of his left ring finger with a handgun that was apparently kept in a home located at 45910 Georgia Rd. in Altoona.

Investigators said the boy told the deputy at the hospital that he knew the gun was located in the couch because he had seen an adult in the home place it there the night before. The child told the deputy that he took the gun from the couch and went outside with it which is where it went off.

Detectives then interviewed the adults, Donald Greeson, 40, and Tracy Greeson, 34, involved the incident.

Donald Greeson initially told detectives he had placed the gun on top of the entertainment center in the living room, but then later admitted to putting it in the corner of the sofa the night before the incident. Detectives also said Greeson admitted to smoking marijuana and taking prescription pills the day before the incident and admitted to smoking meth as recently as two days before the incident.

Deputies searched the home and found marijuana in plain view and within reach of the child. They said appeared the child had been sleeping on the floor of one bedroom where deputies found pills. Deputies said they also found drug paraphernalia, including a bong pipe and a digital scale with residue within reach of the child.

Deputies arrested both Donald and Tracy Greeson in connection with the incident. Donald Greeson was charged with child neglect, unsafe storage of a firearm, possession of a firearm by a convicted felon, possession of ammunition by a convicted felon, possession of paraphernalia and possession of methamphetamine.

Tracy Greeson was charged with child neglect.

The Department of Children and Families was contacted and is conducting an investigation.

The child was later transported to Florida Hospital South in Orlando, where his entire finger was amputated. He should be able to go home Tuesday.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:31 PM   #139
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I hope they left the middle finger so whenever he looks at his piece of poo papa he can show him the bird ever single time.

That being said that's tragic.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:34 PM   #140
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Deputies searched the home and found marijuana in plain view and within reach of the child.
if the kid would have just smoked that weed, he wouldn't have shot his finger off./bump
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:39 PM   #141
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It all began shortly before 7 p.m. Sunday, when Carmel Towing driver Ronald Tyler showed up to a large party to tow away illegally parked vehicles inside the Olive Glen Community complex in Pompano Beach.
I totally read that as "Camel Towing". That would be an awesome name for a towing company.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:49 PM   #142
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I totally read that as "Camel Towing". That would be an awesome name for a towing company.


Yes it would.
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Old 06-03-2013, 03:55 PM   #143
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Old 06-11-2013, 12:49 PM   #144
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/nati...#ixzz2VvHhSgyi

Her racist run on Dunkin' has backfired.
A Florida woman who filmed herself berating Dunkin Donuts employees for not giving her free food has been identified as Taylor Chapman, a 27-year-old Broward County resident and former low-budget commercial spokeswoman, according to The Smoking Gun.
Chapman went off on workers at a Fort Lauderdale store last week after claiming an employee the night before didn't honor the company's policy of comping her meal after forgetting her receipt.
In the 8-minute video — which Chapman appears to have posted online — the iPhone-toting crackpot unleashes an avalanche of profanities and threats, at one point calling the employee who wronged her a "little f----- sand n-----."

"Because I'm about to nuke your whole f------ planet from Mars," Chapman seethes after spotting the worker who served her the night before.
"You think you all are tough big fat Arabs bombing the Trade Center? I'll show you tough."
"This s--- is about to go live b----. Right on Facebook," she says.

The Dunkin' Donuts employees remain courteous during the ordeal and assured Chapman she could get whatever she wanted for no charge."I want my bacon crispy, and I want my people to be nice," she mutters at one point to another customer.
The video went viral on Sunday and Monday, and Chapman was quickly outed by The Smoking Gun and other sites as the Coolata-loving creep.


Thousands of commenters on YouTube and other sites slammed Champan for the abuse.
"Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get her receipt at Dunkin' Donuts," one Smoking Gun reader quipped.
RELATED: TV NEWS SHOW ADDS ACCIDENTAL DOSE OF PORN
According to her LinkedIn page, Chapman went to Nova Southeastern University in Orlando and graduated in 2013.

Chapman's Facebook and Instagram accounts have been pulled down since the video went viral.

Her last listed job was a medical device firm, though an employee there told The Smoking Gun she hadn't worked there in a year.
She also appeared in a several low-budget commercials for a variety of small Florida businesses, including a Chinese food restaurant and an Internet marketing company.
Dunkin' Donuts spokeswoman Jessica Gioglio said in a statement that the company was proud of the store's employees for the way they handled the ugly incident.
"We are aware of the video and the situation that occurred at the Dunkin' Donuts restaurant located in Fort Lauderdale," Gioglio said. "We commend the franchisee's crew member for handling this difficult situation with grace and patience. We believe this is a powerful example of great customer service and the respect our crew members have for our guests."


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I have completely given up on Alex Smith as a qb. Its painful to watch. Like, worse than watching Colt McCoy.
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Old 06-11-2013, 02:11 PM   #145
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I usually don't approve of punching a chick in the face. I might have to make an exception.
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Old 06-13-2013, 12:20 PM   #146
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Looks like this guy wasn't using his noodle.

Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese.

A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy's missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking.

The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother's stomach.
When deputies arrived, Edward had a small puncture wound in his abdomen. Investigators noted a trail of blood between the kitchen and bedroom, according to Click Orlando.

Randy allegedly admitted that "I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn't mean to."

He has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.
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Old 06-17-2013, 08:30 AM   #147
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A Florida woman and her buddy were arrested Friday after attacking and robbing a man who thought he was going to have sex for money, police said.

Jennifer Leigh Robbins, 20, lured the victim to a Melrose Super 8 motel room at about 6:30 p.m., according to the Gainesville Sun. The victim placed $500 in $20 bills on the microwave and closed the blinds, but when he turned around Robbins allegedly attacked him with pepper spray.

Moments later, Robbins' alleged accomplice, Matthew Stuart Pauley, 24, entered the room. The three started fighting, and the melee spilled out into the hallway. Other hotel guests separated the two men. Robbins and Pauley then fled.

But they left some of the cash and a motel key card, which led police to the suspects, the Sun-Sentinel reports. Robbins and Pauley were arrested after police interviews.

Theft and sex never mix.

Nobody knows that better than Chelsey Coutts, whose $500 worth of sex toys were stolen from the trunk of her car earlier this month. The hot-and-bothered victim had been saving the toys for a bachelorette party in Oregon.
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Old 06-24-2013, 04:23 PM   #148
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Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.
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Old 06-24-2013, 04:29 PM   #149
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Son Assaults Father Over How to Make Kool Aid!

OHHHHH YEAHHHH.

Brandon Antron Crosley, of Cocoa, Fla., is accused of assaulting his father after an argument about how to properly make Kool-Aid, Florida Today reported.

Crosley's father, 48-year-old Greg Crosley, told cops that his 22-year-old son was making Kool-Aid Wednesday and was "doing it wrong," according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. Crosley said he then tried to give his son some helpful tips.

Brandon Crosley allegedly didn't take kindly to his father's advice, and responded by punching his dad in the head two or three times before fleeing their shared apartment.

The report notes that Greg Crosley has a permanent disability and uses a cane to walk.

Brandon Crosley was charged with abusing an elderly person, according to the Brevard County Sheriff's Office.
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Old 06-27-2013, 04:42 PM   #150
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Every time I'm thinking Florida is losing its burst....along comes another story!

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Think twice before agreeing to pose naked for your roommate in exchange for free rent.

A man in Lake County, Fla., learned that truism the hard way after he moved out last August.

Police said the picture-taking roomie, identified as Samuel Otero, 37, started texting the victim constantly. Even worse: he allegedly sent the nude pictures he took to the victim's co-workers and girlfriend. He even left one of the naked snaps on a car belonging to the victim's grandmother, police said, according to CFNews13.com.

Things really came to a head on Monday when Otero allegedly threatened to shoot his ex-roomie and then himself if the two couldn't be together.

Police arrested the suspect on Tuesday for stalking, and he was later released on $5,500 bond, the Miami New Times reported.

Dangerous and sometimes deadly roommate behavior is near constant fodder for headlines.

In March, James White, a student at the University of York in England, was banned from owning a pet for eight years after he drunkenly fried up his roommate's hamster
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