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Old 01-15-2013, 04:13 PM  
gblowfish gblowfish is offline
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This Week's Important Florida News!

Two Boffo Stories:

Story One: Man arrested for giving wicked wedgies, or snuggies, or melvyns, or whatever you call pulling the underwear over a nerd's head.

Story Two: Fifty Year Old School Teacher Gets Tanked on Cheap Wine, wrecks her van, offers to blow the cop if he lets her go.

Florida, I love you. You're just so fun!

Story #1:
Charles Ross is known for orchestrating outrageous pranks and posting them to Youtube. But this time, the 18-year-old prankster may have gone a step too far.

Ross was arrested for battery Sunday night after he allegedly gave a series of wedgies to moviegoers outside the Carmike Royal Palm 20 in Bradenton, Fla., while a friend filmed the prank, the Bradenton Herald reports.

The underwear prank, which Gawker calls a "wedgie spree," ended badly for Ross when a 20-year-old male victim reported to authorities that Ross grabbed him "by the back of his pants and pulled them up hard," according to the Smoking Gun. Although other victims of the schoolyard prank also came forward, the 20-year-old is the only one seeking charges.

On his Youtube channel, Ross has uploaded video footage of him performing a variety of pranks -- from doing handstands over people to trying out pick-up lines -- but the latest in his compilation is by far one of his most hands-on public displays.

According to the police report obtained by the Smoking Gun, Ross challenged the male victim following the wedgie, "asking if he wanted to hit him."

The Mantee County Sheriff's Office arrested Ross and detained him overnight. He was released on $750 bail, records show, and his court date is set for Feb. 14.

Though Ross' wedgie spree was meant in jest, this is not the first time someone has been arrested for doling out the uncomfortable underwear gag. In 2006, an Albany, N.Y., teacher was arrested for endangering the welfare of a child after allegedly giving a 10-year-old student a wedgie during summer school.

http://www.manateesheriff.com/Public...px?ID=10125392

Story #2:
'A' for effort?
Middle school math teacher Mary Maloney allegedly offered oral sex to a police officer after being nabbed for a hit-and-run in Palm Beach County, Fla.

Maloney, 53, was arrested Sunday after she crashed her van into a pickup truck around 8:35 p.m., then took off, according to an arrest report obtained by the Sun Sentinel. A witness to the crash tracked Maloney's car to a parking spot and then called police.

The arresting officer said he found an empty gallon jug of wine behind Maloney's driver's seat and "immediately smelled the strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emitting from her person," according to WPTV. The report states that her eyes were glassy, bloodshot, and partially closed.
The officer that drove Maloney to the police station noted that she asked him "How much do I need to pay you to just let me go? Don't you understand I am a school teacher?"

She then allegedly offered to perform oral sex on him and allow him to fondle her breasts.

Maloney was charged with driving under the influence, leaving the scene of a crash with damage, resisting an officer without violence, driving with a suspended license and attempted bribery of a public servant.
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Old 07-23-2013, 04:24 PM   #181
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Joseph Michael Brannen had a burning ambition to be a firefighter, but his plans have gone up in smoke.

Brannen, 18, is in hot water after police say he admitted he purposely started a fire at his local library, so he could help put it out.

The fire occurred July 6 at the East Hernando Branch Library in Brooksville, Fla., and investigators immediately suspected foul play when they arrived on the scene and saw a man later identified as Brannen decked out in firefighter gear, the Sun-Sentinel.com reported.

Brannen told authorities he had heard the fire call over the scanner and wanted to help fight the blaze with the equipment he purchased on eBay.
However, he was not allowed to go near the fire.

Upon further investigation, officials began to believe Brannen started the fire himself.

During a voluntary interview, the suspect admitted to starting the blaze in hopes of helping the professional firefighters, according to a release from the Hernando County Sheriff's Dept. During the interview, cops say he provided details about how he entered the library after hours and how he set the fire.
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:04 PM   #182
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
http://tinyurl.com/m67gdsk
Joseph Michael Brannen had a burning ambition to be a firefighter, but his plans have gone up in smoke.

Brannen, 18, is in hot water after police say he admitted he purposely started a fire at his local library, so he could help put it out.

The fire occurred July 6 at the East Hernando Branch Library in Brooksville, Fla., and investigators immediately suspected foul play when they arrived on the scene and saw a man later identified as Brannen decked out in firefighter gear, the Sun-Sentinel.com reported.

Brannen told authorities he had heard the fire call over the scanner and wanted to help fight the blaze with the equipment he purchased on eBay.
However, he was not allowed to go near the fire.

Upon further investigation, officials began to believe Brannen started the fire himself.

During a voluntary interview, the suspect admitted to starting the blaze in hopes of helping the professional firefighters, according to a release from the Hernando County Sheriff's Dept. During the interview, cops say he provided details about how he entered the library after hours and how he set the fire.
Here's a young man who thinks outside the box. He's a go-getter. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, or in his case, without burning the omelette to a crisp and then stuffing it down someone's throat.
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Old 07-23-2013, 05:10 PM   #183
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In April, a Colorado woman was accused of assaulting her boyfriend after he played Macklemore's "Thrift Shop" 25 times in a row.
.
She must not listen to the radio.
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Old 07-24-2013, 03:20 PM   #184
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From the Yahoo Sports Page:

The championship game of a premier youth soccer tournament at Walt Disney World devolved into an out-of-control melee, with players, parents and even grandparents involved in a brawl. Most strikingly, a grandparent of one player was reportedly punched in the chest, setting off his pacemaker and paving the road to a possible felony assault charge.

According to the Orlando Sentinel and Orlando ABC affiliate WSVN, Orlando FC/QPR Academy was facing off against Pachuca Academy of Miami in the championship match of the Disney Cup International Youth Soccer Tournament. After Orlando FC eked out a close victory, Pachuca athletes reportedly rushed the field and began a violent brawl with their Orlando FC counterparts.

That’s when Miami parents reportedly rushed the field to get in on the brawl, according to the parents of Orlando players who were injured in the fight, as relayed to the Sentinel.

"What made this insane was that the parents cleared the bench," said Matthew Feinberg, whose son Jordan, 16, was treated at Florida Hospital Celebration Health for a concussion and other injuries. "The parents on their team helped their children. They even hit some kids on our team.

"A grandparent was punched in the chest, and his pacemaker went off," Feinberg said. "He was on the ground."

At one point, Jordan Feinberg was reportedly pummeled on the ground by multiple Pachuca players, leading to his eventual hospitalization for a concussion and other effects of the fight. In connection with the attack, the Osceola County Sherriff’s Office recommended filing felony assault charges against one unidentified Pachuca player.

Despite the claims of the violence on the part of the Miami-based Pachuca squad, representatives from that group told the Miami New Times that their players were being maliciously implicated by a source for the original Sentinel story who was a former Sentinel reporter.

Complicating matters further is a claim from the volunteer director of the Pachuca club that the reaction to the brawl is racially based, against the predominantly Hispanic Pachuca squad.

"The goalkeeper who supposedly had a concussion, he initiated the brawl," Pachuca volunteer director Monica Mularski told the New Times. "It was an Orlando [FC] father who first stepped foot onto the field. And the grandfather with the pacemaker actually assaulted three of our players, and they can identify him as well.

"It's very easy to blame it on us. The majority of our players are hispanic, our coach is Hispanic, most of them speak Spanish. We are not going to say that our kids aren't at fault. All parents and kids on that field assaulting one another should be held accountable. We will hold our kids and parents responsible. We are already putting kids on probation. But it's not so one-sided as it appears in that article."

Clearly, there is plenty of blame to go around on both sides from an incident that is as disturbing as it was shocking, both for what happened and where it took place.
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Old 07-25-2013, 10:53 AM   #185
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When day care teacher Michelle Hammack briefly left her classroom to extinguish a nearby fire, she probably did not expect her actions to lead to her own firing.

Hammack was supervising children at her Florida day care center job last week, when she smelled something burning and found a small fire in an adjacent room’s oven. Hours after successfully extinguishing that fire, she was terminated, according to local outlet WTEV-TV.

Hammack’s employer fired her on the grounds that she should not have left the room where her students were sleeping, even though she did so to investigate a potential fire. However, Hammack believes that the fire would have escalated if not for her actions.

"I fired her only because she left her room," Hammack’s employer, Olga Rozhaov, told the TV station. "It's not acceptable, and if anybody else does the same thing, I will fire again. I will fire them. No question."

When writing about the incident, The Daily Caller took Hammack’s side, calling the story a “sign that America is clearly wheezing its last ethical gasps.” The Daily Caller also noted that the local Department of Children and Families is investigating the situation, “apparently at the behest of a WTEV reporter.”

A petition has already popped up The Petition Site, with the mission to “write [sic] the wrong that was done to Michelle Hammack.”
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Old 07-26-2013, 08:54 AM   #186
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Kool-Aid, burgers and pot don't mix -- at least if you're calling 911 asking for them.

Jarvis Sutton, 34, was arrested Sunday for allegedly called 911 operators in St. Petersburg, Fla., 80 times wanting "Kool-Aid, burgers and weed to be delivered to him," the Associated Press reports.

Instead, officers delivered him to the Pinellas County Jail, where he was booked on charges of misusing the 911 system, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

Sutton may have been suffering from the worst case of the munchies ever. Arresting officers noted that he kept chewing on the foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser, NBC Miami reports.
Sutton remains in jail on $150 bail. This visit marks his seventh visit to jail in the last two years, according to the Florida Sun-Sentinel.
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Old 07-30-2013, 10:11 AM   #187
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Florida, you really screwed the pooch on this one.

A recently released registered sex offender was arrested once again on Friday after a neighbor grew worried that someone had molested his dog.

James Lee Lyons, a resident of Augustine, Fla., was taken into custody by the St. Johns County sheriff's Office and charged with two misdemeanors, animal cruelty and sexual activity involving an animal, according to The Times-Union. He was released later that night after paying the $11,000 bond, according to St. Johns County Sheriff's Office records.

The alleged abuse was uncovered after Lyons' neighbor noticed his dog was missing, according to The Times-Union.

When the neighbor began to investigate, he noticed Lyons carrying the dog from his trailer. Because the dog was acting strangely, its owner took it to the hospital, where bestiality was suspected by the emergency veterinarian on duty, according to the St. Augustine Record.

Special Victim’s Detectives then picked up Lyons.

Previously, Lyons served 13 years in prison after being convicted of attempted sexual battery on a child, and a sexual act with a child while in a familial role in 1998, according to the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. He is a registered Sexual Predator in the state.
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Old 07-30-2013, 02:44 PM   #188
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Penny Dane, Florida Cop, Resigns After Nude Photos From 'Red Light Center' Game Surface
Posted: 07/30/2013
http://tinyurl.com/ko6rgrg

A Florida police sergeant resigned after posting nearly 300 graphic photos of herself online, including lewd images taken in uniform.

Sgt. Penny Dane of the Daytona Beach Police Department "admitted she accessed and sent sexually explicit pictures as part of an online game called Red Light Center," according to WKMG.

She admitted to sending the images to her lover using police computers and while on duty.

"[The photos were] extremely pornographic in nature, and in several of the photos that we have since discovered, she was in her uniform," Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood told WKMG.

When asked how she could fulfill her work responsibility of supervising other officers while playing "Red Light Center," Dane reportedly told investigators, "I don't want to say I didn't have any idea what they were doing because then that would be obviously very wrong. I did pay attention to my radio and listen to what they were doing."

Dane was suspended for "similar activity" back in 2012, WESH reports.
The most recent revelations came after Dane accused a colleague of sexual harassment. While looking into her claim, investigators uncovered Dane's racy photos, according to WKMG.

Red Light Center bills itself as a porn-themed online virtual world, similar to Second Life.
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Old 07-30-2013, 03:18 PM   #189
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Pics or GTFO
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Old 07-30-2013, 04:06 PM   #190
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Pics or GTFO
Ok...
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Old 07-30-2013, 06:08 PM   #191
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
Penny Dane, Florida Cop, Resigns After Nude Photos From 'Red Light Center' Game Surface
Posted: 07/30/2013
http://tinyurl.com/ko6rgrg

A Florida police sergeant resigned after posting nearly 300 graphic photos of herself online, including lewd images taken in uniform.

Sgt. Penny Dane of the Daytona Beach Police Department "admitted she accessed and sent sexually explicit pictures as part of an online game called Red Light Center," according to WKMG.

She admitted to sending the images to her lover using police computers and while on duty.

"[The photos were] extremely pornographic in nature, and in several of the photos that we have since discovered, she was in her uniform," Daytona Beach Police Chief Mike Chitwood told WKMG.

When asked how she could fulfill her work responsibility of supervising other officers while playing "Red Light Center," Dane reportedly told investigators, "I don't want to say I didn't have any idea what they were doing because then that would be obviously very wrong. I did pay attention to my radio and listen to what they were doing."

Dane was suspended for "similar activity" back in 2012, WESH reports.
The most recent revelations came after Dane accused a colleague of sexual harassment. While looking into her claim, investigators uncovered Dane's racy photos, according to WKMG.

Red Light Center bills itself as a porn-themed online virtual world, similar to Second Life.
she's not the smartest cop in the doughnut shop...
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:45 AM   #192
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Show me on the puppet where he touched you...

http://tinyurl.com/kn5hc7k

A former Florida puppeteer who openly fantasized online about murdering, cooking and eating children will serve 20 years in a federal prison on child porn charges.

Ronald William Brown, 58, was arrested last year on charges of possessing child pornography and conspiring to kidnap a child, The Tampa Bay Times reported last July.

Brown, who was sentenced Monday, had been an active member of his church's youth ministry. He often drove children to the church and performed puppet shows for his congregation. He was also featured on a local Christian Television Network show, Joy Junction.

But in a 29-page criminal complaint filed July 20, 2012, the sinister side of Brown was made evident. While he worked with his church's youth during the day, Brown harbored the desire to rape, carve and cook the body parts of a young parishioner for Easter. As the Tampa Bay Times reported:
"I imagine him wiggling and then going still," Brown told an associate in an Internet chat session, describing his plot to kill and cannibalize a boy at Gulf Coast Church, according to the criminal complaint.

Brown went on in gruesome detail about the different ways he would kill and eat children with another alleged cannibal enthusiast, Michael Arnett, using online monikers that investigators traced to their computers. The two discussed killing--what they called "snuffing"--children as young as 2.

In one chat cited in the complaint, Arnett described drowning a little girl, and in another, he and Brown excitedly talked about a photo, shared by Arnett, of a 3-year-old girl being strangled.

"That's how I would enjoy doing" the unidentified boy from Gulf Coast Church, Brown said.

Brown was found to have over 200 pictures of children on his computer. Many of the children were tied up, gagged and blind-folded. He also solicited photos of dead children online, where he also had conversations about touching boys at a cruise ship pool, according to a report from the Orlando Sentinel.

Investigators said in 1998 they also found boys' underwear at Brown's home, and a blowup doll dressed in children's clothes. Brown said he used the items for puppet shows.

WTSP reported that although Brown told investigators he wanted to eat a little boy he met at his church and had discussed his fantasies on a Yahoo message board, he never intended to actually harm children.

Along with being sentenced to 20 years in prison, Brown will have a lifetime of probation. He will also have to register as a sex offender, is prohibited from having contact with minors and banned from having access to a computer with online service.
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Old 08-01-2013, 02:17 PM   #193
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At least they HAD sex in high school.

Two teen Floridian lovebirds are accused of breaking into a high school in Daytona Beach, Fla. to have sex, WFTV reported.

It's unclear whether Vincent Ewell, 18, and Lindsay Longbottom, 19 actually engaged in any hands-on biology lessons inside the high school, but cops say they found the pair driving away from the high school after the break-in at around 3 a.m. Wednesday, WESH reported.

While inside the building, Ewell and Longbottom allegedly vandalized vending machines to satisfy what they described to cops as "beer munchies," according to WKMG.

Officers say Longbottom told them they broke into the high school because they needed a place to have sex where her boyfriend wouldn't find out.
They are both charged with burglary. Ewell is also charged with criminal mischief.
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Old 08-09-2013, 12:45 PM   #194
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The fast food was not fast enough.

An argument over who was first in line at a McDonald's drive-thru ended with a man stabbed in the butt and a woman on her way to jail.

The commotion began when Rebecca Simmons, 45, reportedly attempted to cut ahead of Mohammad Abukhder, 35, as they were starting their Wednesday morning with a McDonald's breakfast in Riverview, Fla., WTSP reports.

Abukhder complained, causing Simmons to exit her car holding a small knife and puncture the hood of Abukhder's 2000 Honda Civic, according to ABC Action News. Then, as Abukhder tried to grab Simmons' keys so she could not leave, she allegedly stabbed him in the right buttocks.

Abukhder suffered a small puncture and did not require medical attention.

Simmons was arrested and brought to the Orient Road Jail on charges of aggravated battery with a deadly weapon and criminal mischief with property damage, according to the Tampa Tribune.
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Old 08-09-2013, 01:16 PM   #195
Halfcan Halfcan is offline
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Originally Posted by gblowfish View Post
Show me on the puppet where he touched you...

http://tinyurl.com/kn5hc7k

A former Florida puppeteer who openly fantasized online about murdering, cooking and eating children will serve 20 years in a federal prison on child porn charges.

Ronald William Brown, 58, was arrested last year on charges of possessing child pornography and conspiring to kidnap a child, The Tampa Bay Times reported last July.

Brown, who was sentenced Monday, had been an active member of his church's youth ministry. He often drove children to the church and performed puppet shows for his congregation. He was also featured on a local Christian Television Network show, Joy Junction.

But in a 29-page criminal complaint filed July 20, 2012, the sinister side of Brown was made evident. While he worked with his church's youth during the day, Brown harbored the desire to rape, carve and cook the body parts of a young parishioner for Easter. As the Tampa Bay Times reported:
"I imagine him wiggling and then going still," Brown told an associate in an Internet chat session, describing his plot to kill and cannibalize a boy at Gulf Coast Church, according to the criminal complaint.

Brown went on in gruesome detail about the different ways he would kill and eat children with another alleged cannibal enthusiast, Michael Arnett, using online monikers that investigators traced to their computers. The two discussed killing--what they called "snuffing"--children as young as 2.

In one chat cited in the complaint, Arnett described drowning a little girl, and in another, he and Brown excitedly talked about a photo, shared by Arnett, of a 3-year-old girl being strangled.

"That's how I would enjoy doing" the unidentified boy from Gulf Coast Church, Brown said.

Brown was found to have over 200 pictures of children on his computer. Many of the children were tied up, gagged and blind-folded. He also solicited photos of dead children online, where he also had conversations about touching boys at a cruise ship pool, according to a report from the Orlando Sentinel.

Investigators said in 1998 they also found boys' underwear at Brown's home, and a blowup doll dressed in children's clothes. Brown said he used the items for puppet shows.

WTSP reported that although Brown told investigators he wanted to eat a little boy he met at his church and had discussed his fantasies on a Yahoo message board, he never intended to actually harm children.

Along with being sentenced to 20 years in prison, Brown will have a lifetime of probation. He will also have to register as a sex offender, is prohibited from having contact with minors and banned from having access to a computer with online service.
just shoot the sick ****er in the head now
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